Monday, April 28, 2014

A Hypocritical Loyalist

So last night whilst I was browsing the Social Networks before finally going to bed. I came across a few somethings that disturbed me and not in a good way. Like an annoyed kind of way and what I didn't like about it was that it bothered me in the first place. However I couldn't just let it NOT bother me. How fucked up is that?? 

So my ex is apparently married so she says. I dunno. I had to really wonder how is that possible?? She's unfaithful as hell. Even though she's been with her "husband" for 10 years she's cheated on him and even cheated with him on the previous boyfriend!! But I find it funny as hell that all of sudden you're ever so faithful and loyal. And she throws that out like she needs to constantly justify her position. Then I'm thinking when we were hooked up and I understood the situation I was in and I'm over what happened but I had to be the loyal one but she can do whatever the fuck she wanted to do. What type of shit is that?? 

Then I moved on to something else and this guy I was talking to, who I was Leary of to begin with finally came clean. Took him about 5 months though. I started talking to him and I was instantly turned off when he said I was weird I didn't smoke marijuana, he got excited I had my own place and wanted to come visit me and then his half assed approach. Like don't tell me you like me and then never talk to me. What I dislike the most was the fact he treated me like a side chick to begin with and knew instantly this isn't something I want to deal with. However I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and I personally couldn't see myself with him. Then I was over it when his baby mama added me on Facebook. Oh it all make sense why you gotta come see me at 2am and shit. 

Anyway for the last couple weeks he had been arguing with me. I'm like what's up with you. Apparently it's my fault because I keep playing him. I'm like dude you don't even text me back nor call me or want to do shit. He's like come visit me, can I have your address?? He's like I'll give it to when you're coming. How the fuck am I gonna come some place I don't have a location or address for?? So anyway he posted on Facebook about how he can't wait for his son to be born. I'm like who's having a baby?? Not only did he delete my comment but he private messages me and ask me what am I talking about. When I asked him if he had kids when we first started talking he told me that he didn't have any kids and he was single. He says last week or so when we had this conversation that he told me he had a son on the way and I'm like no you didn't. Because if you did you wouldn't be talking to me. I immediately write guys with kids off because I don't like the drama that comes along with the baggage. So he's like I don't know why you got an attitude anyway we're not fucking around and blah blah blah. That's besides the point. Then out the same breath he's like I still want you. I don't think you really do and he's like yeah I do. I ask him are you sure? He said yeah. Well how do I know you're sure?? He said I don't. My point exactly. Then says I knew he was having baby by all the stuff he's been posting. I'm like one I don't stalk other peoples Facebooks and two if I see your posts on my newsfeed it's either about getting high or some sexual something or other. He didn't deny it because he knows that shits true. 

Here's the best part! He has the audacity to say to me that it's up to me if me and him going to be together or not. No it's not. His baby mama is due either last month or this month. I'm not about to be put on the back burner and you got daddy responsibilities. I'll be damned if I'mma be stressing over a little girl who's still hung up on you. That's shit. After him fucking up my night, I'm like whatever I'm going to bed. Haven't talked to him since. He did stalk my Facebook for a moment the other day. 

But the Pittsburgh men don't want to claim their kids and only do so as a novelty accessory and it's sickening. You knew you knocked her up but because you don't want to deal with it head on you going to put it to the side and then move on to the next chick like that's going to solve your problems. No that's just fucking more shit up and getting peoples' feelings involved and eventually hurt. 

But my feelings were hurt and I was offended that he wants to tell me how indecisive I am and how I don't know what I want when he's screaming loyalty but you ain't even fucking telling the truth what the hell?!

I don't get it. It's like the most unfaithful people are always talking about loyalty and how they want someone to spend the rest of their lives with but that can't even decide on if they like a person or want to put forth the effort to actually make a relationship of some sort work or or not. It baffles the shit out of me. What trips me out is the fact that Pittsburgh is full of these people. I understand that I may have to move to be expose to more mentally mature people. But in my current situation I'm stuck here and these are the people I'm exposed to. It's like how do you even build a friendship with people who don't want to have a friendship of any sort. Who lie or feel threaten or men who just want to fuck you at 2am and bounce and call you next month when it's your turn again. It's ridiculous. It's always drove me up a wall. 

The best part is that they get mad when you call them on their bullshit and say I don't want to fuck with you and your bullshit—stay the fuck away from me. Oh, oh then I'm being difficult or wrong or all this cockamamie bull. Like whatever. I'm not going to be the background noise to your happiness when I could possibly be out there finding people who want to be in life because they genuinely like me for who I am. No I will not put my happiness on hold so you can enjoy life to the fullest because you're greedy as shit. Like a picture I saw, I'm not going to be crossing oceans for you and you're not even going to cross a rain puddle for me. 

No fuck you, you hypocritical loyalist. I don't have time for that. 


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