Saturday, June 8, 2013

To Be, Or Not To Be? 8 Years Is The Question


So this day, 8 years ago I graduated from high school. I will say it was a long hard battle for me.  I got picked on and bullied, it was by far the most unpleasant 4 years of my life. I'll even go so far to say I had a better time in college and I hated that experience as well.

Through it all, I can say that my teenage self was resilient in reaching what I thought would make me happy in the long run. I will say I did cave want wanted to dropout not once but twice!

I understood the importance of having a high school diploma and how it would benefit me as far as getting a job or going to college or being able to comprehend the problematic issues and situations of everyday life. I got that. But being tormented and judged so severely wasn't worth it. For Pete's sake I was a bulimic, I had a terribly low self esteem and I was so damned awkward and queer I couldn't even approach and talk to people. I was really pathetic!

I can say this day 8 years ago meant the world to me! I fought hard to get to it. When it finally came I was so happy I was elated to think I can finally be free of this shit hole school. Basically the school I went to was more of a delinquent high school. I was happy to finally be rid of the people who made 1,825 days of my life PURE HELL!! Yeah our junior high is in the same building as the Senior high so I was there for 5 years (oppose to 6 like everyone else). The thought of never seeing these people again or being subjected to such ignoramus bafoons made me squee with joy.

Then I went to college and really never left the same environment. Just changed location so to speak, new faces same personalities and only difference you're judged by how much you'll be making, how many degrees you've got, how many kids you had out of wedlock and if you're lucky enough to married not once but at least 5 times before you hit 50. Where the ladies and gentlemen of the past are nothing more than a fairy tale.

I can honestly say at 16 even younger and growing up then, I would've never considered how my life is right now even as the most wickedest nightmare. Hell you couldn't have told me I would have boobs!! I didn't even think I would turn out to be such a bitch. Eh, but things change. Sometimes it's for the better. Unfortunately I'm very vindictive.

If by possible chance they have a class reunion in two years. I won't be going. I can't even fathom being in the same room as those douchewaffles for 2 seconds! I'm not even friends with them on facebook and any other social media for that matter. I want to continue to ignore me like they did in high school. They made what was suppose to be the best years of my life the most miserable. So excuse me if I just can't forget and forgive so freely as them.

Now being 8 years out of high school. It was a waste of time. Not only did I have a poor education, but because of horrible the school, the district and community is I am forever judged by it. I'm not a hoodrat and take offense when outsiders consider me as such.

What I have learned is having a high school diploma is useless and its bot even recognized. You don't get those fancy no college needed jobs. There's no reward or anything to go along with it. It's just a thing, you experienced that happened for a good reason all for nothing in the end. Harsh, sad, but true.

All in all, I'm happy I did graduate. Otherwise if I had left I wouldn't have know what it was like. I could leave the extra curricular activities and prom and senior year crap. But graduation was an accomplishment, just not a big enough one to be considered something great. Either way I'm proud.

Yay for June 8, 2005 lol.


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