Thursday, March 14, 2013

For The Love Of Oral Sex

Why do men love blow jobs?
Why do women hate oral sex??
Why is this such a big issue and what's it got to with Bunny???

Now this is a bit long but it's well worth it, I promise!

So if you know me well, you know I really don't engage in oral sex personally. I have my reasons and there's nothing wrong with it. I don't do oral sex with or on a man because I don't like the uncertainty, the possibility of catching a disease or the fact that men are stupid enough to mouth rape you and smuffocate you. Yeah not my forte. 

However, I wanted to know why men love Blow Jobs so much more than sex. I want to know why a strange man who doesn't know me and I don't know him can boldly come up to me and ask for a blow job and then have the audacity to get mad and feel offended because I said no. I want to know why this is so important. Plus I also wanted to know is this how men are picking women and considering them as Wifey Material?

So I asked a friend, why do men love blow jobs so much? He told me it was because it's as if a vagina has a tongue. Well what the fuck does that mean? So then he says well it's the same as why you would sit on a man's face to have him eat you out. Well I don't do that. Personally I couldn't be that mean and unless someone I'm on mutual terms with, and they ask for such a thing. Since I didn't get much help there, I had to go and research this topic a little bit more.

I looked far and wild for information. I wanted to know why a man can actually pick a blow job over sex, and never reciprocate and be ok with it. I found an article on Your Tango who said, well it's like if the vagina had a tongue. Not the answer I was looking for and very mundane. 

Then I found another website The Feminine Woman  and she gave a more detailed insight on it. She said the reason why men want blow jobs is because it about trust with your partner and that as a woman (or a man) you can succumb, be vulnerable and put all your faith into this person. Men want blow jobs because it's an expressive form of love and how they feel about you. It creates an ever lasting bond between the "blow jobber" and "blow jobbee" and makes everyone happy and more in love, so on and so forth. However this is what happens in a long term or monogamous relationship (as in engagement or marriage). Nowhere did she mention anything about men who don't want a relationship or even get involved in any type of commitment, why they want blow jobs from multiple women and as often as possible without reciprocating. I ended up having a discussion with an older gentlemen who sort of help but still like the author, based if off on what happens in a relationship. The answer was great and very insightful but still not what I was looking for.

Now I came across another site, who happens to displease me every time I come across it. Which I think has some affiliation with the website from the No Matter What They Say post I wrote last year. This guy said he was an expert and gave his feelings on how women dislike blow jobs. All in all the prick was saying that women not only needed to get over not liking them, but to do it to make their man happy and to please him and he'll ultimately do the same. Unfortunately I don't know what Candyland he lives in, but that's not the case. I've come in contact with many men who've asked me for a blow job and when I ask what's in it for me, they boldly say:

Nothing. You should be happy I'm letting you suck my dick.

Then to top it off he want's to tell me he'll contact me when it's my turn comes around next month, and the next and the one after that. Not only can I not find this post anywhere on the net anymore, but I found out when a man writes something completely retarded and it receives a negative impact, they immediately delete and act like it never existed. But whatever.

Thus I ended up on another website called Elite Daily. It gave the basic reasons about why men love blow jobs. There are only three and they are Surprise, Laziness and Replacement. Now the element of Surprise that's just bull. I get you don't get it often, but if you expect one everyday, that's defeating the purpose right?? In a relationship, I'll accept the benefit of the doubt. Laziness, sounds a bit more like it. However why should a woman end up with lock jaw because you're too lazy to do a pelvic thrust?! I say if you expect her to bob her head about like a chicken looking for feed, you need to participate. It's not about you, you know. Then there's Replacement, I saw this in a meme comic a few months ago, that men get agitated at the fact a woman has to come on her period and he can't get any sex. Well there are those that try but I wouldn't recommend it. So thus man created blow job week. Do you know how disturbed I got by reading such a thing? Hell my period has the possibility to last for a month if not more and Mister Man expect me to suck his cock the WHOLE TIME?! No, No, unh-unh. Not fin to happen at all. However the author did prove a good point that got me thinking. He made mention that women that can give blow jobs without hesitation or those that give surprised ones that are done well, that woman:

In other words, she becomes the perfect woman

Then I sat there and wondered, is this how women are getting picked for marriage?? The say goes, the way to a man's heart is to his stomach. But if the woman can't cook and has no interest, doesn't really bring anything to the table but her useless able body. Reminded me of a book I saw a few years ago saying that the way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach but by the blow job you give him. Hmm.

Thus I came across this one blog called Scientific Matriarchy by this eccentric doctor, that gave this whacked out explanation on why men love blow jobs. Not only did his post piss me off but what he came up with as pliable information was just as psychotic as his notion to write it in the first place! He said that back when we as humans were still monkey people, and everyone walked like a 200 year old person. Men could see our vaginas clearly and knew which hole was the one to poking around in. Because apparently "during mating" the vagina would become this bright red color. Well the day came we finally stood up and men became confused and mistaken the red lipstick on our face for our vaginas and didn't know which hole was which since our breasts and ass look exactly alike. However in the old cavemen days, when the different tribes would run across a famine period, the women who gave blow jobs to the male members were the ones who were "saved" or in this case fed. They were superior to those who refused and those who refused, well they not only got nothing to eat but they had to die. Of course he pulled the whole it's healthy for you card. I doubt it said anywhere that herpes or an STD is healthy. Or that being lax in personal hygiene in healthy. Yet he never did say what the advantage was in giving blow jobs.

Then I came across something even more asinine  The 10 Commandments of Blow Jobs by Glamour Magazine. I'm not even going to go into details with this crazy bull, not only is it giving vague descriptions but actually promotes it like it's a good thing. I'm not saying it's not and in a controlled environment I'm sure it can be quite enjoyable. However when someone is abusing their right for bonding with their lover and creating a stronger intimate bond and a better and enjoyable sex life to hump every girl who yawns by accident. To me you're not only abusing your right but you feel women OWE you something regardless if you are going to reciprocate or not. I don't think that's fair and above all else it's wrong.

Eventually I came across quite a few discussion boards on the topic. The Experience Project is a good place to go to get the unusual things you wouldn't find in a normal discussion board. However, even though the post was made last year, it seems like people already had their feelings on it and that blow jobs ARE more important than sex.  Another place called Baby Gaga, had a discussion on about 4 years or so ago. Then men made mention that they enjoyed the act of it and it was a definite turn on, however they wouldn't forego sex for a blow job. However once again these site was dedicated to people in monogamous relationships. Then I found another place called Steve Pavlina had a big discussion. I found a few points in there that made a lot of sense. Unfortunately I ran across the if vaginas had tongues talk. One guys said that he enjoyed blow jobs but would have to prefer sex above all else. Luckily someone did make mention of learning good hygiene and that made me happy.

It's not about age or gender or lifestyles, but it shouldn't be used to get off on, and should be more of a form of love. However, being young, does create a problem if you know nothing and it's more of a trial and error. But I think if you learn something and got it down pat you should move on to something new. Not just stay at something you enjoy the most or because it's the only thing you want to do. It's not about not liking or enjoying it but when it comes to being intimate, there are other things we can do. However I think if you ask for a sexual relationship, don't get mad if that's what you end up with. Now one guy even said he would be offended if a woman didn't like him giving her oral sex. One thing that made me think was when one guy made mention that if he can't find what he needs in one woman, he goes looking for those who can give it the best. Though he doubts he can find a woman built to his needs. If you missed that, he's basically saying I'll have one girl for blow jobs, one for good cooking, one for great sex, one (or more) who's ok with group sex, one who give unconditional love, one who gives the support he wants and so on and so forth. That's a bit selfish, if you ask me. You'll go through many women to find out who does the best job and nothing else matters. No one's feelings are important, not even if that girl's heart is damaged, or if she ends up jaded about love—it's all about you forget about me, right??

All of the above made a notion that if you (a woman) had a man perform oral sex on you and he knew what he was doing, you wouldn't be asking such a silly question and would know why it's so enjoyable. Well I found two sites that not only gave a half assed expression and basically said that all women love oral sex from a man. It was a bit false if you ask me. The Shine via Yahoo said that a woman only dislikes the act of oral sex because it distracts her from enjoying the oral act, or she might feel conscientious about  how her vagina looks, if it smells like a vagina, or if you've got the cactus hair cut going on down there. I guess for some that could be true. Then when I read the comments, not only did I get pissed one chick said the author needs a man who knows what he's doing. Another man said if she's not getting it from you, she's getting it from somewhere else and the same goes for her sucking a cock. Both lies. The other website Ask Men basically took advantage of the question as a way to promote men in subtly forcing women into blow jobs and how if you follow the "instructions" you'll be getting blow jobs every night for the rest of your life. Another site full of bullshit.

I'll get personal and let you all know why I have a problem with oral sex. 

I don't mind oral sex and I'm always open to anything new, even if it's a first time. However NEVER in my life have I ever sucked a penis. Nor am I going to start or consider it as a future practice. I also don't like the aggressive nature men take on by forcing the penis in your mouth down your throat, so what if you choke or possibly suffocate. I am not about to do it. I don't like that some people don't know how to properly clean themselves and even refuse to have a shower or wash up a little bit in preparation for oral sex. The next thing, I refuse to be put in a situation where I don't feel comfortable. Plus bottom line, if I'm not getting all this love and beautiful commitment and bonding shit people talk about, then no I'm not sucking your cock. You tell me I'm not good enough for a relationship but I need to suck your cock because that's all I'm good for. No you wouldn't like it if I said I get off better without a dick because yawl stroke ain't nothing. See? Not fair right? However I will let a man know I don't do blow jobs because I know I'm not going to reciprocate. Which brings us to the next part. I refuse to let another man do oral sex on me. One it's not going to make me reciprocate and give you a blow job. Unlike what they say above, my kitty bunny boo boo rarely has hair and is smoother than hardwood floors with a fresh coat of wax! Secondly I believe in cleanliness and make sure the kitty is very clean, I don't like infections nor do I want to catch a disease of any sort. The only time my mind is drifting somewhere else during any type of sex is when the other is LOUSY!! 

Now the number one reason why I refuse to let a man do oral on me, is because the last guy, the supposed baby's dad. He went down on me only to get a blow job. Not only was he terrible at giving oral sex, but he did it so rough to the point it would hurt. He bit me and broke the skin and I even had bruising. He tore my vagina up to the point it hurt to put panties on, it even hurt to pee. Imagine having an UTI and your vagina look like it was knife fight. Yeah not a fun time. But I could've gotten over it, if he wasn't so determined to get a blow job. No matter when he shoved his face in between my legs, no matter if I screamed or said ouch. Even when I would push him off he refused and decided to do it anyway. Because I refuse to give him a blow job, he tried to shove his sorry ass cock down my mouth and guess what?? He got no love of whatsoever that night. Then when shoving the cock down my throat didn't work, he decided to refuse to do oral sex on me. To be honest I was at my happiest. I was GLAD! 

However, I will receiving and give oral sex to a woman. Why?? I was never forced into it and it never made me uncomfortable and I actually enjoyed it. Even getting oral sex from a woman, I liked it because it wasn't forceful and I didn't have a bleeding vagina. I understand that a man may not know how to express how he wants to be sexed, and barely know what to do with a woman. However going all cannibal on her vagina ain't the way to go.

Unfortunately because of that horrible experience with that one guy, I never want to engage in oral sex unless I really feel comfortable with that person and know I can trust him. I wouldn't have to worry about him hurting me or not being cared for properly. It doesn't mean I won't ever engage in it. But for now, it's a no go. If I'm not getting something out it, like a relationship. I'm not even asking for a marriage proposal, just a relationship, no broken promises or concrete lies. I get offended when a man approaches me and demands a blow job. You know what I say to him ladies?? Pay my student debt off and you'll get all the blow jobs you want, however that means you're stuck with me, no more going out, no other pussy, no competitions and you best handle your chores. You're more likely to get a blow job if you mow the lawn and help take the laundry upstairs, oppose to sitting on your ass and watching TV while you scratch your nuts.

Bottom line?
Men love blow jobs because it feels good, he gets to dominate his partner and see them in a vulnerable state that's usually hidden. He also uses  blow jobs as a determination to pick a potential mate, or in some cases who's worth keeping around and who does a better job at. You refuse a blow job, not only are you useless, you don't get fed.

Why don't women like to give/get them?

Well yeah we're told it's dirty, filthy and a woman should never bow to a man who isn't deserving of such gesture. She may be uncomfortable with her body and some even dislike the way bodily fluids tastes or doesn't like the act of doing it. But some women have had a bad experience and just can't get over it, and for others no matter how good it may feel it just feels yucky and is down right disturbing. It's like getting branded and then told that felt great right? No it didn't and it never will. And for those of you that don't know some people suffers from TMJD. So blow jobs aren't possible. Also most women don't find herpes a fashionable lipstick either.

I don't know maybe one day we'll have a follow up when I finally find the answer I'm looking for as to why men need to have this more than sex. 3 years ago, it was considered as a nice fun thing to get every now and then. Now it's gone from every now and then to that's all I want from you. Only thing I can contemplate he's already passed his seed to another girl he fancies and doesn't have a need to impregnate you or even see you fit for reproduction. So you either suck the cock or starve or in this case become a future cat lady.


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