Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Bunny's Confessions #7


I have a Love/Hate Relationship with a lot of things. Why?? I don't know. I guess in the recent years I've looked at things at a "pro and con" way.

Like Family. I love my mom and I even love my family. However I hate them when they act like they're their own solar systems and shit. Like screw you, go fuck yourself! Same goes for meeting new people, I love the interactions and getting to know someone new. I just hate the fact that person always leaves me at some point or goes find someone apparently much more interesting or worthier than I. Or when I no longer serve the purpose of being used, too.

I even have a Love/Hate with all that Love, Life and Relationship crap. I love the potency of it and how beautiful it can be. But I don't see the actual advantage of it like everyone else sees. When I'm told from the first meet and greet that I'm not even good enough to be a mistress and to be a wife is out of the question. That really fucks with me, makes me wonder why am I female if that's the case?? Or if I find a guy I believe is worth while (like HIM, mmph) he turns out to only want what his significant other can't/won't give and then if I give it he's fine. If not he acts like I don't have a right to exist anymore. Those things that a good majority of men do, makes me dislike them that much more. Oh sorry, apparently that's my fault too.…

I dislike how people complain when they receive everything they want and need. Yet they expect a hand out everywhere they go or for someone to do it for them. Mostly welfare cases. That pisses me off too.

I don't know. I guess also all of this came about when I found out that life isn't that fairy tale they tell us it is. Or how beautiful and rewarding it can be. They don't talk about the bad stuff. Nor do they prepare us properly for it. You can't say be positive when someone's broke and jobless and homeless. Then society dubs them not good enough to have a job or a place to stay—even if its a shelter! To me that makes no sense. What really bothers me—don't tell me to go after what I want when it's not an available option. Like telling me to go to college knowing I can't afford it—thats the perfect recipe for failure! Or telling me not to be an unwed baby mama, but then tell me if I want the government to help me I need to go get pregnant—really?? Then when I don't get what I want, I'm told to find something else. I already spent my whole life working to make that happen. You want me to start from the beginning to work on this?? There's only so many times one can start over and be ok with it. Eh, I have a Love/Hate for this Ugly yet Beautiful Life too, I suppose.

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