Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Wifey

So what I wrote the other day, I decided to do a follow-up because I didn't want any misunderstandings or anybody to take The Mistress and The Wife the wrong way so I decided to write about the wifey and just so you know this is strictly my opinion and don't get upset. If you don't agree that's fine. If you can possibly learn something new, then that makes me happy. If you happen to get pissed off—you'll get over it soon enough.

Now to be honest at one point in my life I wanted to be married and to do the things that married women did, like the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the family and husband all the while making him happy. To me that was moderately important to me. However when I got older, I realize that not only was I really not in the mood to be married, not saying that I would never get married, it's just the fact that I'm prepared to be married but I'm just not ready to settle down. The reason being is because in my teenage and my early 20s I spent those years working on school and was career-zoned so that was more important at the time, which meant I had to sacrifice a lot of fun and even social activities that I didn't get a chance to do. Now that I do have the time to at least to do what I couldn't do before, I want to experience everything before I settle down completely. That's why I would rather not be married at the moment or any time soon, because if I'm not fully prepared or have my mind fully focused on the idea it wouldn't turn out to be a possible happiness.

I did learn that when you decide to enter the relationship scene you find out a lot of things that you never knew before and some things you won't know until later on but the number one thing is cheating. Most people are confused or they're not sure why someone would take the initiative to cheat in the first place so that brings us up to why I decided to talk about the wifey today. I personally think, well after a conversation I had with a friend, the main reason why most men cheat is because the wife is lacking is some (if not many) department(s).

We as women when we want to go after something we go full force and do whatever we can to get what we want. When it comes to men you want the semi-good man, the one who will treat you right and take good care of you, love and cherish you because you definitely know you're going to do the same for him. Unfortunately when we get this semi-good guy and everything that comes along with him, we get lax. Well when we get what we want we feel there's no reason to put any more effort into it because we got what we want. There's no point to even try to consider an upgrade or do anything about it. But Ladies that's where you go wrong.

You can't expect a man to give you everything you want, fulfill your wants and desires, give you kids, a pretty house and jewelry and then get nothing in return. Things don't go that way nor are they going to work. Just like you want a commitment to give up the goodies. Well it's true, don't demand a commitment and promise endless love, sex and happiness—only give him an every other night booty call once every 5 years and spending more time with you're new mommy friends and old girlfriends and you assume he's going to stay. He doesn't really have to.

Now before you get mad and say how a relationship is meant for two people. Listen. I understand that fully and wholeheartedly. But in any relationship you have to work hard and try your best. You'll know if it's not working. Especially if you got someone who cheats and cheats and says how sorry they are but still continue to do it. In that case you need to drop that person like a bad habit and move it along. Same goes for those who leave home for months on in and come back new clothes and smelling clean and apparently not starving—they're cheating, they think you're oblivious to it and stupid and they can get away with it. If you ask them and they get mad, they're cheating and it's time for you to grow up and find someone new or move on, ok.

However, women, today I'm talking to you. If you got a good man at home. He comes home everyday after work, bringing home the bacon. He shows you love and takes good care of the kids. He buys you nice things and just all around damn good. You need to treat him better. Just because you got the husband, the kids, the white picket fence, beautiful house, the cat and dog, the cars, and everything else—it doesn't mean you need to stop there. If your man wants sex, give it up to him, it won't hurt. Don't be so stingy and selfish. If he wants to hang out with the fellas and go out, let him. If he wants a day alone one day, give it to him. You'll see wonders I'm telling you!

If I was married, I may not be the greatest cook however I would try my best to turn that disadvantage into a great advantage. But I'd be raping his ass very damn night, all day long. Sex at the movies?? YES PLEASE! Hell I'm down for threesomes and anything kinky. I'll be damned if I'mma let some other woman or skank one up me in the bedroom department—but we're getting off topic.

Now I will say this much, commitment or not I refuse to do a blow job. Not only do I have to trust that man fully and with my whole heart. But I want to make sure the only place he's been sticking, has best been me. If not then, I refuse. Not saying I won't do it, I just need to know for sure. So I don't promise any guy anything, I let him know. You will not get a blow job here. Sorry but oh well. My tongue ring is for decorative purposes only!!

But ladies, the Happily Ever After doesn't always stay. But to keep that Happily Ever After feeling, you've got to work at it and take the time to figure it out what's wrong and how to make it better. Don't just throw it away and if your man cheated, and it's the first and only time, then you know what you've got to do. Be that freak in bed he wants, but remember to be that lady he also wants. This applies to the men too!! Just because you may not be a Porn Star in bed doesn't mean you should hesitate in trying something new. You don't have to have experience to create an enjoyable sex life or a happy life period.

So with all that being said, before you get mad at the other woman and say how she approached your husband. Because I'll tell you now in most cases, the married men approaches the single woman first. Think about why he did it, it's not necessarily something faulty or wrong with him. But in fact it could be you, not saying you're a bad person or have a problem. There's just something you need to correct to hold on to that man and keep him coming back to you and coming back for more. It doesn't hurt and you might surprise yourself.

Now if you're single and reading this. I hope you can learn to embrace this like I have. Just accept it, whether you like it or not isn't the point. But you can't expect to be ok with everything that comes along with a relationship and ignore the bad and pretend the what-ifs won't happen. Because they will and you can't be ok with anything until you accept the good and bad. If you can do it for other things, the pros and cons as they're referred to, then you need to accept the positives and negatives of a relationship and how to make it livable.

So Ladies, work that relationship out and be his ONE and ONLY. Because of you don't, trust me you can always be replaced.


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