Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Mistress

Whatever you may call the woman who seems to have your man's attention and him wrapped around her finger. She's the enemy, the rival, the mistress.

The Mistress, side chick, the other girl/woman, and sometimes called the bitch. She's has her shit together and is the eye candy that keeps just about any man drooling. She's available and always ready for a good time. She doesn't give a flying turd about anything or anybody. She's independent, sexy and above all else (like I've said) FREE.

Men flock to women like her because she's free and usually most of the time is willing to give him what he wants that he can't get from the Wifey or Girlfriend or Fiancée. Plus the other upside to this forbidden relationship is the fact that she (if she's independent and emotionally stable) only wants an intimate relationship anyway. She wants the man but not the responsibility of being tied down to him or having to have to settle down. It's all about sex and a few chance encounters from time to time to make him happy and continue life as a happily single woman.

A man will do almost anything to make his mistress happy. If she's happy, he knows she'll do all the things the wife refuses to do or won't do anymore. Regardless of either of the women involved feelings, the man is concerned about him and him alone.

The sad apart this that most women who end up in these situation, we don't expect our emotions to get in the way. However they do and they will. You can enter a relationship with a taken or married man thinking and knowing you're not going to fall in love and won't get in over your head. One day, you realize you wish you could build something more. You start enjoying seeing him and anticipate him touching and kissing you and after you've done your duty and he's rushing to get home to his family. You sitting at home, alone, wishing he could've stayed and been with you a little bit longer. Then you start wondering where you're going with this makeshift relationship, if you can call it that. You think about where you want to be. Then the sisters, Jealousy and Hate start whispering in your ears and filling up your empty heart. Then you start wondering what if the wife wasn't in the picture, what if you took her place, what if I could take him away from her and tear apart her happiness....

It's not healthy. And on so many occasions it can be quite damaging. Then what's even sadder is when you turn into the Unofficial Wifey. He has a special place for you in his heart, but he's found a newer model to drool over and cling on. If that happens lets just hope you and he have no kids, not only would you be an Unofficial Wifey but you're now just a Baby Mama.

Being the Mistress isn't as luxurious as most people think. It's a sad life and makes it hard to open up and build any type of relationship with anybody. I know, I've been the other woman many times. I knew when to talk to him. How long I could talk to him. When I could see him. However it got out of hand and the taken, coupled off and married men started treating me like a cheap hooker or a lousy prostitute. Neither of which I am nor do I care to take on as a livelihood. However one guy I guess opened it up for me—my eyes I mean lol. When I was pursuing the mailman, this one guy told me that the mailman would never be interested in me. No man would. Because all men love their wives, baby mamas and girlfriends. He  also told me I wasn't even good enough to be a mistress or side chick. All I could do for him was help him bust a nut and either I was going to do it at my mother's house or at the McDonalds parking lot. Not something any girl or woman should have to hear. Like all things, being the other person in anybody else relationship has its downfall.

In midst of it all, I can say I am proud of myself. Before I would agree to the terms and conditions of cheating with any taken man. Only out of loneliness and being spiteful. I was lonely because I didn't have that special someone, and spiteful because I personally felt his significant other wasn't deserving of what he had to offer (which wasn't much in the first place). Now I don't do that, because it's not about whether I want or don't want it to happen to me. It's about self worth and doing what's best for me and not making another mistake that could ruin my life or make my future harder than it needs to be.

To my ladies who are the side chick, mistress or other woman. Really think about it why you did it in the first place. Does that still hold true?? Does it still make sense?? He's with her for a reason and you can't change or alter that. If you do, Karma is sure to find you. Don't think it's because he likes you or that his Game is on top. It's because you made yourself easy. You are worth so much more. You can have any man you want, why waste good love on someone who's only going to half ass their feelings for you?? When you finally gain the course to make it and say I don't need to be dependent on someone who's only going to love me when they feel like it....ladies it's truly a beautiful thing. There's nothing wrong with you, you're not lacking anywhere—we're just unlucky if you will. I attract the worse men, whether I'm dressed up or looking like I just got outta bed. It's just how things worked out. I'm not concerned or worried about being lonely or being the only single friend. I have so much more to do, so much waiting for me and many things I've yet to do to preoccupy me. If love comes, fine let it. If it doesn't, don't fret none. Look at the unhappy times your friends have to deal with. Kids and a over demanding man. Think about it, you can eat ice cream in your pajamas and not worry about impressing anybody. Do what's best for you and think about you. No ones gonna love you like the way you do.

So being the mistress isn't all rainbows and happiness as people make it seem it's actually quite sad, lonely and full of ups, downs and detours. It's like a fabricated Happily Ever After that won't come true. Before any of you Wifeys, Girlfriends or Fiancées say how unhappy she's made your life. Think about how unhappy hers will always be. It's not about you, just like its not about her.


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