Monday, July 16, 2012

Spilled Milk

I was always told as kid like everyone else, that you shouldn't cry over spilled milk. And as a child you don't really understand and you're upset because that was your milk and the only milk you wanted. Not saying you couldn't get more or that the milk carton was empty. It was the simple fact that was your milk.

Eventually I understood. That just because you spilled it. Didn't mean you couldn't get any more. I was contented with that insecure and false sense of security thought that I could always get more Milk or find something just as good if not better. Unfortunately that all came crashing down when one day, I spilled my milk and couldn't get a refill and couldn't afford to get more and had no way of making more or obtaining what I needed to get more. All I had left was those few droplets left at the bottom of the seesawing glass.

I will say it got to the point where if I did have a problem or an unannounced mishap and spilled my milk. I just new that was end. I would have to struggle be unhappy and do whatever it took to get more. I didn't like that process. I wasn't getting no where. No sooner than ugly my hopes up, they were let down faster than a rock falling off a cliff.

In the midst of my unsuccessful job searching and the failed attempts. I came to an epiphany one day.

There's nothing wrong in getting your hopes up or expecting something more than you should. That was perfectly ok. If turns out good, great! Keep up the good work and try that much more to be something so much more! But if it turned out negatively or just plain wrong. Wipe up your milk and start your process again from the beginning. It can be tiring and daunting and just plan fucked up. However it's worth the while. It shows potential and ambition. It shows you're not going to give up do easily. Don't let someone or everyone's critical nonsense get to you or make you feel less than who you really are. You've tried your best and you know that's a fact and that's all that really matters.

Today I got a letter and a post card. The letter was from a collection agency whom I owe money to, due to leaving Penn State and they're having to give back the financial aid money that they want to be re-repaid for. I told the woman I don't have a job and don't have the money. So her nastiness got the best of her and she said that when I get my job next week I need to pay them the $5200 or the actual total of $7400. I told her that wasn't a possibility and I doubt I would get a job by next week and how I'd been job searching restlessly since December and still no offers. So she got mad and dismiss what I had to say and said they would continuously call me back and finally hung up with a tart Goodbye. And that's fine. I told the truth and I tried my best. I'm not going to holler and scream at them or get unhappy or cause more problems than I need and have.

That's the beauty of it. I may not be the candidate or employee they're looking for. I may not have all of what they want in an employee of theirs. However that doesn't mean I'm worthless or not good enough. I tried and did my best and that's all that mattered. And as far as I'm concerned—maybe they weren't good enough for me to work there. Because of one petty flaw of mine they let go of a good employee for someone who's only so-so. I'm ok with that. That may mean I have to start over again and go through the daunting and frustrating task of looking for a job again. But it's ok, and makes me a better person for another job somewhere down the line. It's hard and hurtful to put your all in any job position and to be turned down so coldly and bluntly told NO. No one can accept or deal with it. And no you shouldn't have to. However accept it with pride and say ok and move on and try again.

There's nothing wrong with spilled milk. You've made a mistake or entered a situation where you're not good at. It's ok, we're human and it happens. You just have to take time out to be fussy and cry about it. Clean it up and pick the glass up, dust it and clean it off. Then definitely try again. It doesn't hurt. You may not have milk everyday and may go months to even years without it. However you'll learn to appreciate it that much more later on. That to me say a lot about one's character.

So don't fret none Sugarcube, crap happens, just try again. Definitely keep calm and carry on :).


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