Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Kwanzaa | Imani | Faith


First and foremost Happy New Years guys & dolls!


I’m sorry this posted late. I was hanging out with my best friend for life AKA Baby Cousin. I decided to borrow her a bit since I had nothing else to do and give my Aunt & cousin (her gram and dad) a break. I remember being young and sitting at home with old people was the pits. Even though I wanted to spend time with my older cousins they weren’t interested and wanted to go have fun. And kids my age had brothers and sisters and family activities. So that’s what I was doing.




On to it.




Imani means Faith. 


"To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle"



One thing I’ve learned is that faith can go a long way within a relationship. You’ve got to have faith for the relationships, for and within each other and for your future. Especially faith that things will work out even when it seems it’s going to fall apart. However with us, he never had any faith in me to begin with. Even was bold enough to tell me that he didn’t trust me. Would even say that the only people that care about him is his kids and no one else. It’s like well what the hell am I then? I’m giving you my all and loving you as much as I can and you’re telling me that it’s not good enough for you. Yeah I was offended but I was hurt that here I am trying to love you and you won’t let me. But then has the audacity to say that I don’t do anything nice for him or care about him. How can I if you won’t let me?? Also on the same token, how can I have faith in our relationship and hope it works out between us when you acting shady with me now? Honestly I refuse to build a relationship on distrust, dishonest and unfaithfulness. It’s weak foundation and nothing good will come from it, especially if only one of us is trying to make it work.


To me that’s the main ingredient for a successful relationship. I’ve tried to get him to be more open with me and trust me but nothing works. Honestly when he would say he couldn’t trust me that was my red flag. And I should’ve paid attention, but I didn’t because I gave him the benefit of the doubt and was hoping he was hurting and just wanted someone to care about him. I wanted to be the one he knew that could make everything alright and he could always confide in. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Probably never will be. I still have faith he’ll be a good man, remain a good father and become more prosperous than he now… just not with me. But I don’t hope that our break up won’t make him lose faith in love or finding someone new. I’d love to say I have the faith to find someone new, but I also know that’s asking for way too much and is never going to happen anytime soon.  I can’t do men and their unfaithfulness as a PERSON. Like who goes around wanting to hurt people or mess up their progress? Keep that miserable bullshit over there with your unhappy ass self. 



But if you’re in a relationship (or working on getting into one), learn to have faith. It means so much. If you’re having a rough time or arguing or just hit a really messed up bump in the relationship. Don’t make it worst by arguing or fighting or placing blame. Take time out and focus on what you both want and need. Work on strengthening your faith and hold each other close. Communicate, don’t dismiss or evade it. Love and care about each other. Don’t hate and be disrespectful. Build that empire. Trust in each other. Be that well prosperous investment you both need and want from each other. Trust me when you have that, there’s nothing that won’t knock you guys down or tear you apart.



Always have faith.







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