Thursday, June 30, 2016

There's A Stranger In My House...

I know I haven't blogged in FOREVER!! 

I been super busy. Ended up with two jobs at one point. Had surgery. Still sorting life out and then all of sudden shit hit the fucking fan and I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck happened and how it happened in such a short time. 

So I finally got my wisdom teeth removed about a month ago. Heeling has been a trial between finding the right things to eat and the medication had me super sick too! But I'm happy it's done and I feel a lot better as far as that's concerned. 

Then I got tired of the shit at my job. Between my checks being short or not adding up right. I was especially disgusted when I was going for my surgery my boss refused to give me the day off and even refused me coming in for a half a day. Told me to reschedule. So I'm suppose to continue to have pain for two more months and be miserable. No bitch I'm not. I decided then it was time for a new job. Thus I got a second job and went part time there. Honestly I thought it would work out. Until a couple days ago they're telling me to quit the part time job and wait on them. Which I wasn't getting a full paycheck for another two weeks. No that's not gonna work. Luckily I got a call for another job that's not only closer to home but pays more than both those jobs! I honestly couldn't be happier for the opportunity. Plus I'm ready to leave especially since I'm not getting along with my boyfriend. 

I wanted to get this off my chest and my mind so I didn't drag this drama into July. I don't want it being a distraction on what I'm trying to accomplish. 

What's funny, is that no matter how hard I try to be a better person, a better woman than I was the day before there's always a trying moment. Usually in most cases I can overcome it. But this fuckery with my boyfriend got me feeling some type of way. 

I know in my hay day I was horrible. I took men off of their ladies. I broke couples up and just made everyone as miserable as I possibly could. For that I have to accept the possibility that it could happen to me too. 

So I found out my boyfriend of a year is cheating on me. It all started last Friday when he confronted me and said I told the one girl at work that we were moving in together. I never told her. Don't talk to outside of work. But she told his friend and his friend asked him. So as far as he's concerned I'm wrong, I shouldn't have done that (even though I didn't) and it's our business. Yet that escalated into the same girl saying his been messing around with another female at our job as well. He's been having sex with her and all this shit they always hang out after work. So he says he's innocent. He never had sex with that girl and she's married and I got it all wrong. I'm like that's not what I was told. So he still denied it. 

So then he overheard something I said at work and tried to say I'm causing all this drama to avert attention from my new boo and the fact I may be pregnant. There is no one else. And yes I might be pregnant but it's his because he's the only one I've had sex with. Which then turned into I used a condom you can't be pregnant by me. It's not mine bullshit. But when I questioned him about the girl he's supposedly messing around with then he's like oh no that wasn't me that other girl lied. And he wants to distract the attention from the skank which had me mad as hell. Because you guilty. 

So he said I was being difficult, emotionless and petty. Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know your skank was an angel and I'm just automatically wrong, huh?? 

Now while we were having this argument, he's concerned if I'm pregnant or not. It's like yes I'm late. Right now it's an IF. but either way I'll do what I need to do. 

I love him very much. I care about him with all my heart. But when that shit happened I was broken hearted. Like how could the man I love treat me like this. I might be carrying your child and you still treat me like crap. I asked him if we needed a break. He said no and then tried to accuse me of trying to be with someone else. I'm like no. We are in a really fucked up situation at the moment. Maybe a break can fix it. He still told me no and went on to say how much loves and cares about me. And doesn't want to lose me. So I told him ok, I never want to talk about this again, but you fuck up one more time and I'm done with you. Because I refuse to be disrespected and told how dishonest I am when that was NEVER the case with him. 

However I did find out that the skank he's messing with says him and her having sex was a joke. But they do hang out with each other often. I also found who told the girl we were moving in together. It was the skank. She said he told her that. Now she assumes he might be talking to someone else or even several other people maybe. She doesn't know about me at all. But what I find interesting all the people involved are people he talks to. Personally I never like the skank he's messing around with. Didn't like her in high school.....Mmph go figure huh? 

Now even though he says nothing's going on between him and the skank. She stay buying him lunch, always over his desk and giggling at him from afar. His ass be entertaining it too. But I'm running my mouth. The office doesn't even think I have a man let alone it being him. But that's ok. I told him in his bitching you won't have to worrying about your reputation being tarnished any more. Because I'm leaving the job. So if some wild shit pops off again it won't be because I said something. 

So I'm hoping we can get past this issue and make it work from here on out. 

I'm just not for all this stress. It's too much. I gotta stress about bills and my jobs. Whether if I'm pregnant or not. And he's over there whining. Not in July!! No. I refuse to start a second year with some bullshit. So I plan on starting July on a good note and make the best out of a bad situation. 

Besides if I am pregnant I don't want that stress on my baby either. That's unfair to them. 

And on a happier note—I'll be getting a new kitten too! His name will be Saphir II. He's absolutely adorable!! Now he is missing a foot but that's ok! Because we're all flawed and damaged goods in some way or form. But that doesn't mean we aren't lovable. 

So now I'm off to work I feel a little bit better after talking to you guys & dolls. My tummy is upset and I don't feel too good today. But I will make the most of the day and this month!! I'll also try not to stay away for so long too lol. 

Happy July! And I hope everyone has a happy 4th of July too!! 

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Happy Fathers Day!

I just wanted to wish all the wonderful men out there a very happy happy Father's Day and I hope that you were well appreciated and loved today!! Happy Daddy's day to the women out there doing it all!! 

Happy Fathers Day!

I just wanted to wish all the wonderful men out there a very happy happy Father's Day and I hope that you were well appreciated and loved today!! Happy Daddy's day to the women out there doing it all!! 

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