What's weird is that I feel SUPER OLD. I remember back as a kid thinking someone who was in their 30s were super adult and old and well ok their way to old-people-hood lol. But now that I look at re fact that I'll be 30years old in exactly one year one month and one day......it's a lot more to that than I thought. And it's not so bad either. Majority of the people have already been telling me I'm 30 and to accept it. Even tho I'll be 29 next month. I must say at first I was kind of unhappy to see my 20s leave so abruptly and to crash land in my 30s. But now not so much. I'm sort of excited and then on the same token I'm a little scared at the fact that I am getting older, and growing up and maturing—but most of all I still feel like a teenager all confused about life and still trying to sort things out without adult supervision. YIKES!
That's the beautiful part about it all. Because it makes me reflect on all those people I thought were super grown up at 30-something and how they probably didn't have their shit together either. They were probably fucking up left to right and desperately hoping another adultier adult would come and save them lol. That's the most ironic thing too. It's actually admirable too.
What I can say even though a part of me isn't ready to cross yet another threshold into adulthood and fears gray hair and more fat and saggy skin. The more grown up part of me is actually exited and can't wait to see what the 30. I get to have another decade of experiences and wonderment. I hope I get to spend as many seconds and minutes I can with the people I love the most. And just maybe I might even astonish myself and come across things I never knew and maybe things I never knew I wanted. I might encounter trials and tribulations that I'm prepared for and others I'm not. I hope that either way I gain the knowledge and wisdom to keep calm and carry on while having the serenity to know the difference or time and place to have wisdom, courage and acceptance. But only time will tell. I can't wait to be 30 some day.