Within the last week I've had two guys tell me I need to be in a relationship.
Honestly any other time I would dismiss it because it's just talk, conversation you know?? But this time I got pissed. Because it was more of an insult and I didn't realize it until now. I'm not single by my choosing. I'm single by choice but not my choice.
I've had plenty of guys approach me but majority of them want to fuck while the rest just want a temporary fix until they get their home life together with their woman or find a new woman who's suitable. I'm basically a substitute. I'm good enough for small talk and cheap terrible sex but I'm not good enough to be in a relationship with. Then why the fuck talk to me at all when you've already predetermined I'm not good enough from the get go. That really grinds my gears.
At the current point in my life, I'm tired. I'm honestly fed up. It's not about giving up because I gave up years ago. But I kept trying because I thought that one day I'd run into a guy who would be bat-shit crazy over me. But that never happened. I just keep getting led on and played and it's to the point in emotionless to it. Men disgust me and creep me the fuck out. I'm over it. But what I hate the most is the fact that out society demands you be in a relationship. You're not sane, or weird or queer or an adult until you're in a relationship. But how the fuck you going to tell me I need to be in a relationship when you're raising men to think they don't need women and women are only good for sexual purposes only?? So in other words it's my fault I'm single because no guy has had the decency to ask me to be his girlfriend. Oh yes that makes perfect sense.
I'm so emotionally fucked up that I would have to force myself to fake like I like that person. Because otherwise I don't see a need in having a dude in my life. If I have to do everything by myself ANYWAY why do I need someone in the background yapping their mouth or telling me what I need or what I'm suppose to do?? The only thing a relationship can do for me right now is keep me financially stable. It'll prevent me from being homeless and keep my utilities on and make sure that my taxes are paid because I'm hoping he has a job. That's the only thing. Since that's hard to come by and damn near impossible here where I live. I'm pretty much stuck on my single train doing shit my damn self.
What's sad I reconsidered my option of staying single. But when dude stomped on my feelings and told me because I had previous sexual partners and I would fuck up his relationship with daughter. I was too through. Don't tell me you like me and want to date me and then say some outlandish shit like that. Women aren't the worst. Men give mixed signals and expect you to figure that shit out like its a 1+1 problem. Dude you just said you like cake, will eat all kinds of cake but I bring you cake and you tell me no you like pie—what type of bipolar shit is that?!
If your single and never dated. Don't. It's better if you don't. With the way people think nowadays you don't know if someone's a friend, a lover or just using you until they find something better. Just spare yourselves the heartache and learn to cope on your own. You can never doubt or wonder how you feel about yourself. Fuck relationships, stay single.