Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Officially Missing You

To get over my sour ass feeling from the other night. Which was I ended up finding myself getting played by a dude and I don't like that shit. I don't underestimate it won't happened but to act like I have little to no brain and I have to accept that you feel that way I'm not going to accept. Luckily I can't be mad because I didn't end up in a complicated shitty ass situation and have to wonder how I got in it.

Plus work was shitty last night, and I'll talk more about that. But yeah I was in such a bad mood I wanted to smoke marijuana and even drink. I decided to go for the latter, in the mean time I smoked up my cigarettes and cigarillos. Unfortunately I didn't consider the liquor store because I was too agitated. And decided to go today or yesterday....

But it was Presidents' Day and all the establishments were closed. How lame was that??? Luckily the grocery store sales some wines, malt liquors and beers. I got bud light straw-ber-rita and Smirnoff ice raspberry and came home. After making another batch of terrible pork chops I was happy to get my drink on. So I had two smirnoffs and one bud light. And was flying high happily. After doing a few things and watching tv I decided to go to bed. 

However lying here in bed I encounter a feeling. Never have I felt this lonely. I actually wanted to crawl into bed and cuddle up next to someone and fall asleep contentedly. Then I wonder if I should try to make friends or go out and meet someone or something. Then I could help my listen to my wavering heart and hesitate that want because I know sober I won't be able to do so. 

Yet the tears escapes my eyes and my heart is desiring having another beat rythymly with another. To be comforted with a warm embrace would be lovely. But I also know it's unlikely to happen. But in case it does I'm be patiently waiting here for him.

I'm officially missing them....


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