There's that saying 'only good things come to those who wait,' in some rare cases it can be believable in others its just unsettling to the soul.
Just when I thought I would never get a chance to prove to society that I'm worth it and I'm a good worker. I get an opportunity. Not one I had hope for or expected to get but an opportunity nonetheless. I got an offer to go back to my old job I worked a few years back. At first I was shock that someone went to bat for me and for once it felt nice to be wanted again in the workforce.
However I got disgusted because they refuse to take me on full time. Part time is nice and all but that doesn't get the student loans paid off either. When I think back when I first started working this job, I only worked 3 days out of the week for 4 hours each day at $8 an hour. $96 a week?? Then it was ok because I didn't have bloodhounds breathing down my back. Now that's not ok. Even worse if they decide to garnish my wages and then I'd have nothing at all and be working for free basically. Then again since I was paid under the table before I don't know if that would sit well with the IRS or student loan debtors.
I've been considering going back. The other day I thought well what the hell why not?? It'd even be nice to have some spending money for my birthday. Then last night I had this wicked dream where I went to my old boss and asked her if I could possibly come back but for full time. She told me no, and said that the reason was because I wasn't educated enough and what I was doing didn't need to be a full time job, plus it would be a waste of good money to pay me full time when I could get paid for part time. So I came home and told my mother what happened and she said she thought it was asinine that they couldn't let me come on full time. I woke up this morning a bit agitated.
Then I thought back like this is the same place that didn't want to pay me. Who tried to get me fired when I first started working there, the same place I never got two breaks or lunch break from. Who even had me doing my work over again and again and again. It was sucky ass job. It was nice because I didn't have someone supervising me all the time but to be locked in a room or squashed by a file cabinet wasn't fun either.
Now in most cases people would say that's ok, I can find something better than that measly piece of job. But that isn't the case. I can't find anything better. Unless I get married or pregnant sometime soon and last time I checked society says I'm terrible at those things too.
So what's a girl to do???
I guess the same routine I been doing these last 4years. Waiting for a miracle that's never going to happen....