Ok, I sort of met this guy. For now we'll call him Dell.
He wasn't someone I would immediately be attracted to, and him being a Leo left me very unsure.
Yet when it all came together, we are by far more compatible than I would have ever imagine. He's not very handsome, but he has a nice smile and a please disposition (so far at least). He seems to know what he want and is man enough to say so. No beating around the bush or making same lame story up.
He has a job, nothing fancy but a job is a job. He's ambitious, smart and one of very few guys I can have an intellectual conversation with. He seems quiet and to himself, and wants more out of life than whatever's given to us by default.
Believe it or not, he didn't get creeper out when I said I never had a relationship with a guy before. Didn't hesitate when I mentioned my bisexuality. He said he doesn't want to rush me, and most of all sex wasn't apart of any of our conversations.
The more contemplate this and wonder. Can I really make it work with a Leo?? Even though I wasn't looking for him, could he have possibly been looking for me?? But even though all this seems and feels too good to be true, I must admit I'm hesitated and my heart is wary and uncertain. I want to, I want to see what it could be like. Yet my heart and my mind says, "Remember what happen last time??" Then there are those "things" that make me feel really inadequate. It makes be self conscious, lose what little confidence I do have and wonder if there's someone out there better than me for him. Then I say to myself, how I must be kidding myself...how is this going to work? There's also a few things about him that rub me the wrong way, but for some odd reason I've learned to get past them. Just like accepting he's a Leo...
I've heard a lot of people say ne wary of those who want to rush into things. But....what if this didn't feel like the others?? Where it doesn't feel like a scam or that there's a strong possibility that I might be taken advantage of?? What if this turns out to be the best thing that's ever happen to me??
Still, I'm reluctant and uneasy about all this. I said I was giving up after all and throwing in all the towels. Have I possibly spoken too soon?? Last time my Romeo didn't pick me to be Juliet; neither did my Ramona or her sidekick. It left me jaded and unhappy. Well there's only so much rejection one can take before you reach a breaking point. Yet my curiosity is peaked and I want to find out, I want to know what its like.
Trial and error is the way you make mistakes, learn some lessons, gain some wisdom and most importantly grow into a better, different and stronger person each day.
I think, I'll see what happens. Give him my number....maybe. Hmph, what's the worst that could happen?? Oh yeah, I can get attached and be rejected all over again. But I can't help but believe his words. No truer words have ever been spoken to me by a man.
I just hope that if I decide to take this leap of faith this time, my parachute opens up when he changes his mind about catching me.