So since I'm on an unofficial quest of....finding myself. I decided to do something most wait until their days are numbered to do.
About a month or so ago while I was coming to terms to being single, I came across this forum where they were discussing what life would be like single permanently. I made mention of this decision in Closing The Door. After reading what everyone wrote I felt better about my decision and I refuse to let anyone change my mind on this. I don't care if Mr. Right or Mr. Good Enough waltz in my life possessing everything I had ever hope for. You were way too late. The way I see it, it was selfish of him to have a good time or date other people while I sat around like a wallflower waiting for him. When he's ready to settle down I have to comply. No way buster. Now you suffer the way I had to without you.
Anyway. A guy from the forum made mention of how his life long dream wasn't about getting married and raising a family. He said if it happens fine, if not then that's fine too! What really stood out and made sense to me was when he said his life long dream was to drive an ice cream truck. At first, I'll admit, the whole idea of someone wanting to drive the happy tuned vehicle that holds a huge amount of significance in almost every child's memory was quite silly to me. Why would you want to do that??
It wasn't until I had an argument with someone over my decision about giving up and how I'll always be alone crap--that saying hit me hard and finally made some sense.
Thus, I've decided to do a Bucket List so to speak for the summer, that I hope I can continue annually. There will be things I know I can accomplish. Things that are fun and things that will create a great memory for me. My life maybe in a sucky place right now and I might not be able to do a thing about changing it. But I won't let that ruin another year for me. I'm looking for the puzzle that I belong in. I want to know what my purpose is and I also want to know what it is that's going to make me achieve that happiness that others talk so fondly of. To some this may sound silly and bring to mind as activities to do during the summer. But it's so much more than that. I'm taking the rest of this time to make it count and prevent from regretting all the things I didn't do or wasn't able to do, due to chasing after something I thought I wanted but didn't know I couldn't have. But Bucket List sounds sooo I'm gonna die right sometime soon-ish.
Thus I've decided to call it The Bunny List. I'll still have my Bucket List and things I want to do before I die like go visit or live in Japan and travel the world and see many other things. And no getting married and having kids aren't on that list lol. As for the Bunny List these are short term goals that can be accomplished. Things I can easily hop to and hop from without having to make out a serious step-by-step plan or needing things like money or others for that matter. These will be things like going to the park one day, or going to have a root beer float or even making my own green tea ice cream. Hopefully my mama will participate with some of them if she can. If not then I'll have to make it a VIP Party of One Awesomeness lol. Might even consider doing the 31 Day Nail Challenge again! I plan on making this decision on being single a fulfilling as well as a choice I know I can personally be happy with. I don't want to be that boring, sit at home alone cat loving lady who knows nothing about the real world. I plan on doing things that make me happy and hopefully as the years come, also accomplish more and more goals because I know they'll get bigger.
I'm doing this to show the world that being single doesn't have to suck, and I don't care what anybody says. I hope that other singletons out there can come to the point to accept, embrace and speak up for being single [Read: Plastic Dreams]. Ain't no shame in our game, it's just got the same name, different rules and played on a different court is all.