Thursday, February 28, 2013

Invisible Condom; Invisible Happiness

There always comes a point in your life where you want to become intimate with someone, and on such a level where you experience the joy and ecstasy that sex can bring with that person. Plus it's also a realization if you want to spend forever with this person if you can still love that person after sex like the way you did before the sex. If this can be a forever type of thing. Then on some occasions, you find yourself caught in lust and just want to fuck--literally. Either case if you plan on having sex with someone, you also have to make sure that they're ready for sex as well and that hopefully you both agree on doing it the safe way.

That's what we're going to talk about. This is meant for everyone but it's geared more towards the women and girls out there because sometimes, we don't have someone to talk to us or tell us what's really going on.

Now ladies, sometimes when you find yourself in the mood you find yourself in the mood. No matter the guy or situation if you had a drink or a meal. You just feeling it, that strange chill up your back. The anxious feeling and don't get me started on the tingling and wetness going on in your pants. So you're ready to have sex. That's perfectly okay, there's nothing wrong with it. It's perfectly natural and healthy and please be aware to expect it. There you are with this man, whoever he might be. You both are in the nude, THE RAW. You see all of him and he see all of you. But because you're not ready for kids just yet, or you don't want any kids so you decide bring up the condom conversation. He might put one on for the sake of all things holy. He might not. Now we have a problem. Not only does he try to convince you in not using a condom, he even takes the approach of continuing where you all left off. Don't get upset men, women do it too.

Usually in a moment like that you're dumbfounded and confused and not really sure of what to do. I would personally suggest to not be put in the situation of a possible pregnancy or run the risk of contracting a sexual disease; you can tell that person right then and there I'm sorry but if you don't want to use a condom then I have to go home (or if you're hosting, you tell them to get out of your house). You tell them you refuse to engage in unprotected sex in that manner. No need to explain yourself or try to make a cute excuse. Just tell them to go and if they refuse then call the police.

Now for the ladies if it gets out of control and you're in a situation where he's pissed enough to attempt or even go ahead and try to rape you. It's best to have to things like pepper spray, and maybe a weapon or two  in places you can have easy access to. Something like a small baseball bat, even a gardening tool, or metal handle or something like that. Never let him get behind you or force you down in a pinned position where you cannot get yourself free. Spit, bite, scratch the hell out of him until you get him off and away from you. Do whatever you can to protect yourself and then run like hell even if that means leaving yourself and calling the police at the neighbor's place or somewhere like a restaurant or 24 hour store. If you can't however get away or you end up in a worst situation, still try to fight and do what you can. Then immediately call the police, it won't help or solve the problem but at least you can identify the person if you know them personally and hell take their picture at some point and send it to your friend or to an email you don't use often so in case they act crazy or the police act like you're in a land of make believe you can bust them in their ass and show them hey here's a picture. Even the police take it too far and want to know what's his name and where the man stayed and how much he weighed and if he had any tattoos. It's like DAMN MAN I'm sorry I didn't have him fill out a Yes-You-Can-Rape-Me Application. 

Now the next thing, is when you know this person is not a creeper or a future rapist. You feel comfortable with them. You both have had sex at least once and you're in a pretty ok place. One night you guys will decide to get it on in the bedroom. Well while you all are pumping and humping away, at some point doing the show someone decides to take the condom off. I won't say all men do this but also there are some women who do this as well. This is perfect example when having more than one partner can be detrimental, not only can a woman not know who the father of her baby is between the lovers she's got, but if she doesn't find out or can't get them to participate in finding out. Your baby could come down with a family or hereditary disease or illness that you yourself may have not have and that creates an even bigger problem. So at least try to keep it at one person no more than 2, and make sure you've figured out how to handle the situation. Like if they know about each other or if they don't, how they'll react to knowing they're not the only one, etc. So if you should ever become aware of the fact that whoever took the condom off, stop what you're doing push them off or crawl away from them. Tell them you're going home or they've got to go home. Ladies if you have the morning after pill definitely use it. If not see if you can get it from your doctor's office, I do believe you have to use it as soon as possible like a 48 hour range.

If you happen not to be aware or you didn't know they took the condom off and you find out your late or aren't feeling well. To contrary belief, you should not test two weeks after sex. Sometimes implantation takes a time to kick in the pregnancy hormones so you can get a positive result. Which means you may get a negative result and that'll shorten your decision time frame. You should wait until your next period to test, if you test negative, great you dodged a bullet and now you know to make sure to have a back up contraception next time like birth control, an IUD or even the morning after pill to protect yourself. If you test positive, the first thing you should do is go to your doctor's to make sure it's true. If you can't go to the doctors you can go to a clinic or planned parenthood. If it's a definite positive you should definitely go and inform the father (if you don't have more than one) and ask him what his intentions are. Don't speak of your own, just listen. If he doesn't want you or doesn't want the baby or doesn't want the both of you then you need to find out what to do with your life. I mean if you're keeping the baby or terminating the pregnancy or considering adoption. If he says he wants to keep the baby then you need to lay down some guidelines.

One of the guidelines would be marriage, not saying to do so because it's the right thing to do. But because the baby needs a legal name. If he doesn't want to get married, that's perfectly okay. You know where you stand with that person and you don't need to force the issue but please understand they're not going to change their mind about how they feel about you. So ladies give the baby YOUR LAST NAME and be done with it. If he's willing to help then allow him to do so, you don't want to deny your child from their father and trust soon enough they'll learn if he's worth it or if he's a complete asshole. Besides if something happens to you and you don't get along with the child's father and his family they have the legal right to take the child off of you because you gave the child the man's last name illegally.

In any case, raise your child to the best of your ability. If you felt that terminating the pregnancy was a good decision by all means that's perfectly okay. Never let anyone tell you it's not, they're not helping you with the baby and will be the first to say how much of a dumb ass you. I will say you will regret it and it will take a long time to get over but eventually it'll pass and you'll be able to move on. If you consider adoption, please make sure that you have a pliable reason for doing so and not because you're mad at him or disgusted he won't marry you. It's even worse when you decide you want the baby back when ever you feel like it, not only are you denying your child from being and continuing his/her happiness, but you're telling that adoptive or foster mother who can't have children that she's not allowed to even adopt. You wouldn't want someone to give you $1 million dollars after working hard, and then they take it back because they felt like it?? That hurts.

I decided to talk about this because I felt it should be talked about. Sometimes it's not as easy as having that other person participate in safe sex and be okay with using a condom. However you shouldn't jeopardize yourself just because they want to be foolish. It's your health and your choice and if someone forces you to go against your beliefs you have the right to take action and tell them NO and if needed contact the police or a friend or neighbor for that extra support.

I hope you all learn something from this and try to stay as safe as possible, and don't be so quick to jump into sex with someone you don't know very well.


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