Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013

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I can't believe it's the last day of the year. Most people are rejoicing and excited for the new year. Others are reflecting and looking forward to accomplishing more goals and completing resolutions.

But for me, I personally wish I could do the year over again. In all that's happen there is so many things that have happen that I want to do over or if that's not an option at least do things or handle situations a bit differently. I don't mean that I regret what's happen in this year. I just wish I could change things and maybe do things a little better. 

I'm not saying I expect a world of wonders or to change so much that it turns out differently. I just want it to turn out for the better not just for me but for those around me. However if things hadn't happened the way they did, then it wouldn't be the same. We all wouldn't be where we're at now. For some, it gave them the opportunity to be something they meet were or never considered. In some sense it makes it all worth it. 

But with the new year coming, I don't feel as excited or happy to rejoice it. I feel indifferent and in some parts of my heart I don't want to see it. Knowing it won't be bright or exciting. This time I'm not going to say it'll be different or how much I plan on changing. Especially since I spent the last 5 months changing into someone I never expected to be, but was aware I had to become some day. Unfortunately I just wasn't prepared for it. But on the same token are we ever prepared for what life does?? We can think and fool ourselves into believing we are, but I doubt that any of is ever are ready for the experiences Life throws at us. 


So for the new year I hope it's wonderful, beautiful and joyous for everyone. For me I just hope that I can continue to survive without falling any deeper than I already am. But I think it'll be alright. I got my two kittens and fish and I think we'll be alright. 


So from my little family to all of yours I wish you a Very Happy New Year and many blessings. 

Kwanzaa | Kuumba

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"Creativity"

To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.



I think with this principle it's not so much being inclined creatively, but being creative enough to project that unto the world around you to create something beautiful and spectacular.

I think if we learn out to embrace our creative side and help, encourage or even be supportive for someone else we can not only start a new movement but be the start of something that is so wonderful and that would be beneficial for future generations.

The other part I like so much about this is not that it involves creativity. However it speaks that if we change our environment we change ourselves for the better. I personally believe that. If you show the younger generation that there's more to life than technology and pettiness it can open a vast field of options. Like my community majority of us are black, failures, little to none are college educated, most are drug dealers, baby mamas or just shiftless people. However our community has little to no businesses, it's poor, run down and educationally wise it's terrible. Because of that it reflects in the people and the lives they lead. Which is sad. With this principle I think if we all took time out to re-evaluate our well being and consider what harm we're doing now will affect future generations. We can possibly turn the current state of all of our lives into something better. Hopefully over time it can be something great.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Kwanzaa | Nia

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"Purpose"

To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness. 


Since there isn't a post from last year due to my getting sick, we can talk about this openly without comparison.

Now I understand the principle's definiton, however I don't agree with it. Sometimes you can restore someone to a previous character or personalty, let alone turning them into some "greatness" from long ago. I personally think it's impossible. Do-able but quite difficult and challenging. There's nothing wrong in lending a helping hand to help those around us, like the previous post Ujima; we can work together to create something even more spectacular. Which is true and quite possible. However we all know you can't assist or help someone who doesn't want to be helped or bothered really.

Makes me think back to a friend who I wanted and did help, but she was so fixated on her then boyfriend and father of her children that what I was trying to do (which was to make her a better person) was a problem and she felt he would be there for her more than I would. Ha. Well guess what?? He dumped her ass took the kids and now she want's to be my best friend again and I'm like no. You know what you did was messed up, and I can't trust you. I'm not about to go through the same crap with her a third time. I rather be friendless and alone than mistreated for being a loyal friend. But this is where Nia makes so much sense....Everything in this world has a purpose. Good, bad or indifferent—it has a purpose. Whether it's a mistake, a lesson or a repeat so you find out what's going on. The purpose is there and you just have to come to an understand of what that purpose is all about.

Now one purpose in Life is quite bewildering. That's our purpose for being on this earth. Some of us know or find out early on. Others find out along the way and then there are those like me still finding themselves and no where near knowing what their purpose is or even in doubt if they truly have a purpose. It doesn't makes us strange or a late bloomer or more sophisticated than the other. We all develop in our own way and at our own pace of time. That's the purpose of growth, to experience as much as we can to be molded into the human being we were meant to be or to get one step closer to finding out who we are meant to be. That's what makes purpose so intriguing. The journey of it, and all that comes with it.

Kwanzaa | Ujamaa

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"Cooperative Economics"


To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.
Last Year, was pretty good discussion. Honestly I can still say that I still believe that if we learn to support one another and build a good relationship not only will the economy prosper but it can grow into something even greater and then assist the communities and their people at becoming better individuals.

Unfortunately, the American economy still sucks and after the president got re-elected, it hasn't been right since. It seems that most people are just fronting for one another. He started this healthcare apocalypse that not only prevents many people from getting health care but creates a bigger issue in the future. But what can you do when you have many opinions and not a one all agreeing on how to improve the country's well being and create something great for future generations.

However, one day hope will arrive and things will change and may be then we can learn to invest our time and good will in one another and not only learn to profit but to build a beautiful path to success via determination.

Kwanzaa | Ujima

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"Collective Work & Responsibility"


To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together.


Last year, it was another selfish rant than actually talking about the true definition of  Ujima. Like the Kujichagulia post, I was partially on topic and then took the wrong turn and ended up somewhere else.

I like this principle the most, I think because it not only redefines Umoja/Unity but says that we can't do things alone and how if we help each other we can strive and become so much more. Unfortunately I'm the last person to be preaching on the subject, since I feel I don't need anyone. However I still appreciate it. I think if more people considered this particular notion and applied it, there wouldn't be so many heartaches, bitterness and unhappiness in the world. We would all be working together and investing in our future development and success in the world.

Thinking on this makes me ponder at the selfishness of the people today. Everyone's on a "tough luck, I got mine who cares about you and yours" attitude that we inflict harm and discourage one another. We bully and pressure others into situations and unhappiness that is beyond cruel. We demand perfection but yet slander each and every unique person we cross paths with. All for the sake of something society has us believing. Which isn't true, not by a long shot. We should embrace each others uniqueness even if it makes us uncomfortable or we don't fully agree. Because if we were all the same, where would diversity be?? How would we be able to tell each other apart?? If we look alike, sound alike, and think alike...how do we show our individualism?? We couldn't. That's the bottom line.

So before you say to a friend, cousin, sibling or parent or even a coworker or a stranger that their problem isn't yours. Take a moment and reconsider, I think the more we accomplish such a task at helping others even if it's small, it can make a HUGE impact on the world and possibly create a better place.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Kwanzaa | Kujichagulia

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"Self-Determination"

To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.


Last Year, Honestly it seemed selfish. I think I was ranting more so than actually talk about what Kujichagulia is all about.

Sometimes selfishness can be misrepresented and taken the wrong way. I can say that towards the end of last year's post I was on topic for a short moment and then took a left turn to somewhere else lol.

Self Determination embarks a journey for each of us to take to find out who we are, what we want and how we can personally strive in this life to make us not only a better person but to reach a level of contentedness and comfort within our skin. With all the media and celebrities and every day challenges we forget what's important and try so hard being someone else that we lose ourselves within the very evil that we loathe from the beginning. It makes me think of what Janelle Monae said about being a cover girl and even in her song Q.U.E.E.N. "Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I will Love who I am." that is by far the most inspirational sentence I've ever heard in this lifetime. It makes me want to cry and rejoice at the same time.

We lose sight on being near perfection and ruin what makes us unique, what makes us who we are inside. We lose face and forget about how to be ourselves and let others guide us in a direction, down a path that isn't our own just to fit the mold, the puzzle. However remember some of us are not meant to fit the puzzle of Society, some of us were never molded to even be considered as a piece. But that doesn't mean you're worthless or not good enough. NO--it just means you've got to make your own puzzle and create something so spectacular that you can later marvel at how wondrous you are and how far you've come. That's what Self-Determination is about.

So the next time you find yourself being pressured into someone you're not. Take a step back and let the world know: You are who you are and there is nothing no one can do about it and if they are uncomfortable, that is their problem not yours. You do what makes you comfortable, contented and happy. Be determined to not let anyone sway you or make you someone your not comfortable being. Be fearless and stand up for your beliefs, emotions and standards. No one can take that away from you and the best part about it all is, you are the only one. There is no one youer than you.

Kwanzaa | Umoja

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"Unity"

To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.



Last year I talked about being unified with ourselves before engaging unity within our surroundings.

Honestly that's a hard act to follow. However I still think it's true. You can't expect that things will be unified around you until you, yourself find the unity within yourself. We all have those moments were we can't figure out why we don't feel good or why every day seems like a terrible day or how we're stuck with bad luck. That's because we have lost the unity within. The faith we hold true to our religion or traditions or practices, we need to learn to have faith in ourselves so that our unity won't be compromised and that we can go out amongst the world and plant unity not only in the community but with each other.

I can say that, I'm currently in the process of finding the peace and unity withing myself so I can make my surroundings unified.

Happy Kwanzaa 2013

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So I know one it's been awhile since you guys and dolls last heard from me. Plus I'm two days late on the Kwanzaa Celebration. I'll tell you why in another post later on today.


Anyway, as I was going through last year's Kwanzaa celebration I noticed that I never finished. Unfortunately that was due to my having that wicked stomach flu that put me in commission and messed me up for weeks. I feel really bad about that too! Reason being, with every Kwanzaa project I've started I've never finished and I don't like that. Makes me irresponsible and dubs me a total procrastinator. SO this year even if it's the death of me I'm fin to finish this year's Kwanzaa celebration.


I feel more excited about it because it's finally something I can celebrate that doesn't revolve around families or gifts or being extra special or part of a group. I wasn't really feeling Christmas this year, not so much because my mom died, but because everyone was forcing me to participate in something something I no longer feel comfortable doing. Regardless of what people think, Christmas is meant for children and those who have children or even grandchildren. But for single people like me who's parents are both decease and family who isn't close or may be too far away...it just turns into another crappy day really. I've got more presents and cards this year out of people's guilty feelings and I really don't like that. You should give out of love or knowing you're doing a good thing, not because you feel guilty or want to throw a pity party for that person. But whatever all that's for a different post.

This year after Christmas came to a close, I was so happy to break out with my Kwanzaa celebration. Unfortunately I'm ill-prepared since I don't have the decorations needed for it. So I set out to the internet to find all the things I needed or wanted. I found little to nothing and most of it wouldn't be shipped to me until after the holidays which sucks. Thus I decided to go to the store. I wanted a Kinara but I couldn't find one. I saw quite a few back in October or November and considered getting one but I wasn't sure if I would be in the holiday mood or not and decided against it. So I found the candles I needed, well almost. I came up with something better! I brought some flameless battery operated candles. You know the ones that flicker like a real candle. I got some red, black and green ribbon and covered the candle via hot glue gun to make "temporary" candles for my now decorated table. I'm happy with the outcome. So I guess tomorrow at some point I'll see if I can put together a Kwanzaa Wreath so I can hang on my door.

I think Kwanzaa doesn't get the recognition it deserves and more people need to be made aware of how special of a holiday it truly is.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dog Twerking 2

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If you giggled at the first Dog Twerking, then I'm sure you'll love this one


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I'm Too Fat Salad

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There was this skinny broad at the Burlington's the other night I was there looking for a new winter coat. She said to another customer she's so sick of not being able to find her size in the store. I can understand her height might be a problem but c'mon she was at least a size 4/6. Yet she tries on this coat that looked really nice (and I hate to say so) and commenced to whining like a whore about how "BIG" it was and didn't fit properly.

Well shit bitch the kiddie coats are an aisle away.......it pisses me off seeing people like her, it really does.

Friday, December 6, 2013

And Then There Was Lily

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So I've had a pretty exciting week. Even though it's Friday I feel like it's only just begun.


Well I decided that I would get another kitten. I'll be honest and say my whole plot for a house full of cats turned out to be an utter failure. In one sense that's a good thing. We learn about ourselves and learn from our mistakes. What makes it even better, this time around....I'm ok not having what I want. 


I had been searching high and low for the ultimate kitten playmate for my kitten Hawthorn. When I couldn't find anything or all the ones I came across wasn't what I felt was a good fit for him. I was beginning to give up and be contented with life just me and him. Unfortunately he's become extremely clingy. If I go just to get the mail from the garage next to the basement he whines and cry like I'm never coming back and then sticks to me better than glue. At first I loved the attention but then it hit me. 

He's my only "child" and what will he do when I can't be around? How will he react if I won't be around?? It made think back to how clingy to my parents I was. Now that they're gone that utter loneliness that follows is uncomfortable. I didn't want him feeling that way. Plus when he's bored he sleeps. I know they nape here and there. But for him being such an energetic cat to sleep all day and sometimes into the night isn't normal. Sounds depressing right?? Lately when I leave to the store or to the basement he gets mad at me and wants nothing to do with me however he follows my every move and step. I decided he needed another kitten as a companion, someone to play with and also if something did happen to me they'd have each other regardless of the situation. 


I started my search and looked EVERYWHERE! The racist Petland (I got him from another Petland actually) where the pets only like white people had kittens and I was so shocked that I wanted to get one. They were cute little balls of Cotton and one even looked like grumpy cat. But I immediately declined when I go no service from the rude staff and found out those cute marshmallows cost $990+. No no, that's ok. I placed an ad on Craigslist and began searching ads on there. Majority of the people I emailed never responded. Some were asking outrageous prices. And others lived too far and expected me to come get them. It's not a free kitten when I have use my whole tank of gas to get it. But still I searched. Unfortunately I would've considered the animal rescue but they have strict rules and I would need a deed with my name on it and I don't have that. Thus making it hard. 

Then I got a response the woman I talked to seemed adiment about giving up a 6 month old kitty for $20. Which isn't bad and I was ok with it. At first she kind of half assed communication. Then said I could get him on Tuesday. I considered Monday but she was "out of town." Go figure huh? She mentioned he didn't have WWfleas, that he hadn't been neutered nor had any shots and how much of a nice kitty he was. I thinking oh he'll be a wonderful playmate. Then I also got an offer for a little female kitten. 


So honestly I wanted a female kitten to begin with. Nothing against boys, just never really spent much time with them and wasn't sure of how to approach the situation. However I can honestly say I wouldn't change the way I met Hawthorn and how much I love him. But when I got the offer for the female kitten I couldn't resist! And decided to see which of the two he liked more or at least in one case have two new friends instead of one. So I picked up the male kitten first. When I saw him who was suppose to be the runt of the litter who looked like a baby wild sized grown cat. I thought well maybe it's not that bad. He was friendly and nice and came right to me. However the woman wasn't there like she said she would be. I found that strange as well as her sudden need to be persistent. I understand that there are those who flake out on people, but you calling me like a bill collector asking me the same question is ridiculous. Even though these were well obvious signs, I ignored them because I didn't want to judge and I was doing this for Hawthorn. In the midst of the car ride the cat did well, but I didn't. I found out the cat had fleas. So I considered dropping him off at home but didn't since he did have fleas. I went home anyway to get flea and tick spray and sprayed him a few times. I was mortified and then realized why the woman was so persistent in getting rid of him. It wasn't her roommate or whatever else excuse she gave me. It was because he had fleas and she knew it and wanted to pawn the problem off to someone else. And the money too of course. 


Then I went and picked up the female kitten. Who was small and absolutely adorable. So I stopped pass the pet store and picked up some flea and tick necessities because I couldn't have these two who weren't neutered, who don't have shots and one have fleas infect my poor baby.  When I finally got home I brought the smaller one in because well she's handheld and makes life a whole lot easier. Hawthorn tried to be friendly with her but she felt very threatened and the little Pipsqueak started hissing, growling like she was a Nittany Lion. When I brought in the other bigger cat, not only did he go reclusive and anit-social but he also knew because of his size he could intimidate the other two. I don't mean hissing or growling, he literally backed them up in a corner and just stared, no noise or sounds which caused the little ones to get aggressive. Plus he was two times the size of my Hawthorn, there was no way I was going to believe that sucker was just 6 months. So I locked little mama in the bathroom and switched after an hour with Hawthorn locked in the bathroom.

Now I understood the introduction phase, I read about it after I had gotten Hawthorn, however because he roams the whole house, I couldn't lock either one in a room. I can't have the female who was named Lily by her previous caretakers in the bathroom knowing he's going to come too. I can't put her in my room at night to sleep because he sleeps there also. And the other cat had gotten so strange he didn't want me touching him or near him. I had to end up putting him in a room that's in the basement. That's the other thing, I didn't have enough secluded rooms with doors for everyone. Plus I wasn't expecting the added hostility with the older cat either. Well I ended up putting Lily in the other bedroom and decided that the other cat had to go to the shelter. Honestly I felt bad about it and didn't want to do it but I also couldn't have him intimidating the kittens, me and acting like he ran the whole joint. He had the nerve to have an attitude when I scolded him for agitating Hawthorn. I told him I don't care how you feel but you fuck with my baby I'm kicking your ass outside real quick.

The next morning I called the Animal Rescue League about dropping the cat off. And can you believe I got scolded and told I had to keep the cat?! I'm like listen lady I don't care about the two-week introduction phase nor do I care about what else is going on and this cat refuses to be told he has to go into a room. He fought me with his heavy ass about going to the basement and I can't having him intimating the kittens. So then she said if I was going to bring him, he had to be in a crate. I don't have a crate big enough for him and then she tried to say I couldn't bring him in and I'm like no no. So she said a box will do, I don't have a box big enough for him. Like seriously I would need a MOVING sized BOX for him. I finally found a box that was for a large crock pot to put him in and believe it or not the box was still too small for him. So I put treats in the box and then put him in and then in the car. Ran and grabbed my purse and back to the car. When I got in and looked in the rear view mirror he's sitting there staring at me maniacally. The best part he escaped the box and left it the way I closed it. I was officially freaked out. I had to go grab some duct tape and fasten the box so he would stay in there and not try to get out, even though he tried his damnedest to get out the whole car ride. As soon as I got to the Animal Rescue League, I had to fill out papers and because I only had him for a short time I couldn't ask some of those questions. But after all was said and done I was able to surrender him and I really hope he finds a family that will love and care for him and hopefully doesn't have kittens. The funny part he came from a house that had another cat but it was an older cat. Just before I turned him in he did claw my arm and tried to break my hand off. Which made me feel even better to surrender him. His creepiness was a bit too extreme for me and his hot and cold attitude was intolerable. But all in all I had to consider the other kitties well being over his especially if he would attempt to harm them at some point.


So I decided to keep Lily, even though Hawthorn did not approve at first and I must say it was the best decision I made.

New TV??

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Monday, December 2, 2013

Cooking Extraordinaire

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So everyone has been hounding me about my impromptu way of cooking. I've never liked cooking and can't stand it, I can do a few things and it comes out ok because I'm a perfectionist and my OCD begins to shine through like the Sun in Clouds. However I don't have the patience for it and there's no bowl licking in between the process. Then the other side to it is.....well it's just me now. Why do I need to go through the process of cooking when it's just me, everything is always going to be too much and I don't really want to be forced to eat left overs every fucking day for weeks on in because the only available single serving food is a nasty frozen TV Dinner.


For the last two days I've been out stocking up for winter, since I don't really plan on leaving too much unless I have to. But I've been baffled as to what to buy since everything is geared to families or couples. I don't understand that, it makes no sense to me. Not everyone is coupled off or has a houseful of human children. My kid only likes Philadelphia cream cheese anyway. But seriously, there are tons of single people or even people who are widowed or divorced or something. So either you feed for a family of 86 or you're stuck with having McDonald's for the remainder of your life.

All this I couldn't help but think about why a bunch of people were making a big deal about me needed to know how to cook, when I don't have a interest in it, and it's just me. Then I recalled a conversation I had with this guy about it was important to keep at it because one day I'm going to get married. No. When I had an interest in learning so I could be prepared to cook for a future husband, Life said no we'll make all men be repulsed by you. So now that I'm older and could care less, why would I want to bust my ass in the kitchen for someone who cares less than damn about me?? Please, like that'll ever happen in this lifetime. The only one I concern myself about eating is my pets and that's it.


Lately my family has been forcing the whole, you're getting married one day. No ifs or maybes. I just no longer have an interest and if it has to be with a man I have even more disinterest in the whole kit and kaboodle. I can't imagine being that close to another human being and being at their beck and call while they be selfish and only concern about them. That's beyond rude--it's fucked up honestly. My baby making factory has been shut down indefinitely, so I don't want to bore any monstrosities like other women (no offense). So cooking has the advantage of what for a single person?? I might as well go buy what I want already prepared and cooked and if not easy enough that it only needs to be nuked in the microwaved. But I'm dealing with crazies in the first place. I'll worry about being a Cooking Extraordinaire next lifetime....even then that's a big ass maybe.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

How To Make An X Pie

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70's Karate Chop 2

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I always end up finding awesome things at 3 in the morning. Why I don't know, but I love each and every moment of it lol.

Anyway about 3 months ago, I came across this awesome video on Facebook where someone took some Soul Train footage and hooked it up with Future's Karate Chop, well  I'm sure you saw the alternative version to that. Here's yet another video dedicated to awesomeness lol.



70's Karate Chop: Alternative

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Well I just found the alternative version that it just as entertaining check it out.




"Boyfriend"

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Thursday, November 28, 2013

I Always Imagined...

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It was 5 years ago on this date that my father passed away. For me Thanksgiving will always be a shitty day because of that. 

In the midst of all I got bombarded with invites and told how I shouldn't be alone for the holidays. Well I hadn't planned on celebrating them, and besides they're only meant for families and children. I'm not especially close with my uncles but it's still not the same thing. Plus it's aggravating for me to sit there and pretend like I'm enjoying myself when I know I'm not and nothing can change how I feel. It's just another day. I'm not going shopping for the latest deals on Black Friday. I hate the crowds and I'm not about to gamble to see if there's enough for everyone or just a limited quantity. Fuck that, I rather cut myself. 


But since I couldn't get out of my invites, I decide to make a quick appearance and  spend a little time with everyone and the come back home and sit and do whatever with the kitten. Then I decided since I don't plan on styling at any place for too long, I'd bake everyone who invited me something to show my gratitude and thanks. This time I decided to bake mini cheesecakes. I had to merge two recipes together to get it the way I wanted it to me and they turned out beautifully but I'm not sure on the taste since it was my first time making them or cheesecake for that matter. 

However the whole while I couldn't help but enjoy myself like I usually do and let my mind wonder to a time when baking became important to me. My mom always baked something. She loved to cook. However I fell in love with baking not because of licking the spoon or bowl but because my dad loved sweets. I always wanted to marry a guy like my dad who lived sweets and I could bake all day long just to make him happy. But never did I think that would never happen. Yet, I still love baking. Even if I don't have anyone to bake for. I still have a passion to do it. 


As far as this life goes, perfecting my cooking skill and enjoying my bake goods are a waste of time because I spend majority of the time throwing them away because there's no one who wants them or will eat them. It makes me kind of sad in a way. 


It's still a choice that I have to respect....even if I didn't make it. That's what happens when you only imagine the good things and never embrace the bad. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Try Amazon Kindle For Free

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Hi kids!!

This is for my fellow bookworms who are interested in getting an e-reader or a tablet for Christmas without giving up your soul for an iPad or Android tablet. 

Anyway Amazon is offering a free kindle of your choice to try for 30 days. You do have to pay for shipping and handling. That also depends on how fast you want. Completely FREE, you won't get it for two weeks (5-8 business days). But next day is anywhere between $20-30. Which isn't bad when you see what's being waved. 


There's a catch. If you like it and want to keep it, you got to pay for it. If you don't want to keep it or would like to not pay that price you got to give it back. Bummer but hey what are you going to do?? 


So all you have to do right now is go sign up for amazon. It's completely free. Then come back here to this post once you're done registering and use this link to get your free kindle trial. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Sniffles

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I Feel So...

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I know I should be sleep but after thinking about tonight, I lost the urge to do so. I went to visit my aunt. But while I was there I felt so left out. Like almost inadequate. It's like everyone else knows a secret and you don't and you're just the background noise to the conversation that's being spoken in tongue in front if you. 

While I'm laying here it made me realize why I want to be alone. I don't like that inadequacy feeling. That "left-out" permanently feeling. It bugs the shit out me and I don't like it. It gives me too many emotions to try and handle and I don't like it because in the end I end up frustrated, hurt and confused. 

I personally and honestly feel that if I alienate myself from all people I won't have to deal with that feeling. I can be contented if I want to or even mad or sad or whatever feeling I'm experiencing at the moment. Plus I don't know how to interact with people. No matter how hard I try to, I always find myself just sitting and smiling and putting up a front like I'm really happy to be participating but in actuality I'm not, I'm uncomfortable, anxious and....lost. Because I don't know what to say and I know the people I'm closest to I have nothing in common with them so a conversation becomes difficult or just down right boring. Or in some cases, it becomes nothing at all but awkward silence. 

The restlessness that shrouds my bitter heart feels like when you can't swallow and it's so hard that nothing works. When I get like this I just want to run away and be a forgotten memory. It makes me wish for death....

However. Having my little kitten, makes life worth while for me. We may have our misunderstandings somedays but I'm happy to have him. He makes me happy and appreciated me for what kindness I show him, loves me without judgement and the best part about it all for the first time I've got someone who's afraid to lose me. Someone who's even afraid to see me leave. That by far is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love every single moment I get to spend with him. Nothing else matters. But I also know and I've come to understand that interacting with humans will soon come to a close. I think after this party I begin to spend the remainder of my life alone with Hawthorn and leave it at that. Hopefully if things go the way I hope, I won't have to leave the house too often and me and him can always be together. I also know it won't last forever. One day we're both going to end up at death's doors going to another place. Sooner or later it doesn't matter to me. Because he'd be the only one to miss me and I for him as well. 


I can honestly say, this is the first time I ever felt so emotional. 

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Switched

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Hi kids!


It's been a long while since I last talked you guys and dolls. It's was about the Flea Market as a matter of fact. We did do good the second day but honestly I personally would never participate again. It's troublesome and the people are ridiculous with the unnecessary negotiation of the sales. Like what the hell?? 


Anyway hopefully sometime this week I'll be moving back into the house. I sort of passed the inspection except they have me a violation for the bathroom not being "completed" which makes no sense of whatsoever. But whatever. Unfortunately one of the fish died yesterday. I think the water I had was still too cold for him and he died, came back to life and started swimming upside down. But when I put him in new water he died. Poor Orenji got flushed to fishie heaven. Tragic. 


But Raiden is doing fine, attitudinal as always. And Hawthorn has gotten fat lol but he's still a handful. I'll have to make a category just for all the craziness he done!! 


I decided a month or maybe it was two months ago, that I wanted to do a party. Just some good old fashioned fun. No theme no nothing. Just bring yourselves and let's enjoy small talk and delicious food mellow kind of party. Unfortunately I couldn't do it in October. So I'm shooting for this month on the 23rd. But everyone's been asking me is it a housing warming party. Well no, it's not a new house and I'm moving back in to the place I've lived majority of my life in, that's pretty awkward if you ask me. Very awkward. Some have called it an appreciation party, a Thanksgiving party....well no it's just a party. Does a party need a theme to be fun?? Or just to enjoy people's company??


In midst of doing my party invitations last night. I guess I got overwhelmed and frustrated. I couldn't help but think of what else my aunt had said to me. She asked me if I was going to invite any of the people I went to college with or "close friends" to the party. I said no. She asked me why not, I mean why would I?? They're not even interested in spending a day with me just to hang out and do whatever let alone come to something I'm hosting that's important to me. She suggested that I should at least consider it. I said no I won't. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful. I just refuse to get excited on over who have nothing but excuses for me. They say they're coming and don't show up or they give some lame sad ass excuse as to why they can't come. To be honest since majority of them have kids, I would much prefer they didn't bring their little rug rats to my house. 


However the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. All my invitees are no where near my age. A good majority are older. I want to make enough food for everyone but then I don't want to make too much and no one comes and I'm stuck with all that food. I also don't want to put in the effort to cook and no one wants to eat because they feel I don't know what I'm doing. It made wonder also why do I have a stove?? The only thing I like to do really is bake and so far not too many people has been excited over my bake goods. I think I've thrown away more cake and cupcakes these last two weeks than any store can. I even panicked at the fact I don't have enough seating for everyone. 

But I think once I got my nap last night my mind came to clear and even though those insecurities still bother me. I just have to bite the bullet and accept things for what they're worth. If people come fine, if they don't that fine too. If they eat my cooking fine and if they don't that's fine too. If they don't like cats, that's too bad because little Hawthorn is allowed to roam free in our house. But we'll see what happens. 


I do know one thing. I won't be cooking anything after this. I'm sticking to the microwaving. Cooking is meant for those who have families and kids. Just like baking is meant for those that have someone to enjoy it. Since I don't have that, I don't see a point in it. Even thought I really like baking a lot. What's the point of having 48 cupcakes in various sizes and no one wants to eat them or waits until I'm gone to throw it away so they won't hurt my feelings?? 

Being a woman is a major drag when there's nothing going on in your life. I'm just saying lol. 


My aunt also asked what I would be doing for the Thanksgiving Holiday. I told her nothing then because it was the truth. She like everyone else, thinks I'm going to be invited over for the holiday but personally I don't have a need to celebrate any holiday since they're all centered around couples, families or children. Three things I don't have. But I did change my mind. I decided the week of Thanksgiving, after my party, I'm going to visit my parents' at the cemetery. Maybe take little Hawthorn with me too. Then me and him will spend the day watching tv or a movie or something. I may even get back into knitting or latch hooking. Because after this party I've decided not to make any more interaction with humans. I just don't have the patience to deal with someone else's unstable personality and lifestyle while still trying to maintain my own. In addition to having a cat!! That's just wait too much on my Hefty Plate lol. 

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Flea Market

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Hi kids!


I know it's been awhile since I talked to you guys and dolls. But I thought since I'm here with nothing to do I can type up something, even if it's a quickie. 


So in the midst of cleaning out my parents home so I can move in, I have tons of stuff that my mom brought that I can't use and have no need for. My uncle suggested that I sale them to make a little bit of money. Which is a wonderful idea. However I must say I wasn't expecting the flea market to be so difficult and just down right strange. Even though this a my first time I must say that I really don't like this too much. 


I'm not knocking it. I just never had an interest in it. Being here and trying sale something to people who expect to get it for nothing is beyond a challenge to me. In my case I never was much of a sales person and advertising and sales and all that business and financial side of things definitely ain't my forte. Therefore I do great unpacking boxes, placing things or even putting things like shoes on display. That I do good at. Trying to attract people and show them that my salt and pepper shakers are better than the woman in row C column 8's is like the most frustrating task to me and I personally don't have the patience to deal with it. That's just me. Like everyone shops differently and values things differently. That I understand. But I can't think for someone just like they can't do the same about me. 


Baffling experience really. I think the only plus is that they have funnel cake and that I have a close parking spot. I dunno we'll see how it goes within the next few hours. Plus I miss my little Hawthorn too. I rather be fussing and fighting with him instead of sitting in the cold with a newborn cold trying to kill me off lol. 

Friday, October 18, 2013

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Bunny's Corner: The Midnight Tirade

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So my aunt and uncle are going away to visit old friends of his and their spouse. Something they do about every year or so. I was aware of it and understood they would be living to catch their flight in the middle of the night basically. Unfortunately my kitten, Hawthorn, was unusually hyper and excited about this.  


Anyway so I'm sleep and Hawthorn is running a muck like he received Mad Hatter training from Johnny Depp. He was making a whole hell of a lot of noise and running around. The jingle bells on his neck doesn't make it any better. In the midst of whatever the game it was he was playing he decides to pounce on my feet and body because I'm under the covers because I'm cold. Then I had to discipline him with a squirt from the naughty bottle and a spank on the hip. 

So I then put him in bed with me and told him to lay it down. I turned off the light so he could understand its bed time like always. No, no. What does he do?? Tries to chew my necklace off which I decided to squirt him about since nose bopping and spanks weren't working. Let's say my bed ended up damp. But that wasn't the worst part it was the fact that he decided to shake the water off that killed the mood faster than a broken solitary condom with a hottie. He did this twice. In addition to running around crazily and acting like, well like.....like a complete douchewaffle. 


So then when I thought I could lay it down and go back to dreaming about sugar plums and all that other good shit. My aunt says we need you to move the car so we can go plus hurry up we're late. Now mind you I'm not going and basically she's the one who's late. Go figure huh. So I go and move the car in my sleepy death like state. When I come back in thinking I could sleep. Oh no no no. I couldn't because Hawthorn knocked his food bowl over and I had to clean up which depreciated my want to sleep ever more. Thus I went to the bathroom and grab something cold to drink. 

By time I made it to bed. Hawthorn climbed up in my lap and went to sleep. He's actually on his third nap as I type this. The worst part is I have things to do but I'm far too tired and I'm a bit too agitated to do so. Plus apparently my lap makes a wonderful napping location too. Oh woe is Bunny!! 


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Pirate Party

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Breath Of Stars

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Raiden, Orenji & Hawthorn

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So in the midst of a joke that went horribly wrong. I ended up adopting two fish and a kitten. The fish came first one was part of the joke, but then the other I happened to like a lot. Since you all haven't met them, allow me to introduce them :).





Raiden


He was the betta that just won me over. At first he was very friendly but he was gorgeous. I mean look at him!! Unfortunately I didn't know what I was getting myself in to. Not only is he a very pretty fish, but he is unbelievably high strung. Honestly...this fish has issues. He will snap out in a minute. Oh my goodness when I was trying to get him into his new tank he tried to commit suicide!! I was shocked he knew how to avoid the net, but to jump into the sink with little to no water, flopping around and it didn't have a stopper in it either. He gave me a mini heart attack that day. Thus I decided to give him and the other betta Japanese names. So I picked Raiden, it means Thunder and Lightening which describes his personality to a T. Unfortunately his nick name is Cunt-Bubbles lol.






Orenji



Now he's the less hyper of the two and actually the complete opposite. He's mellow and very laid back. So much to the point it makes you wonder if he's still living or not. However in all my life I've never seen an orange betta that looked like a gold fish. I found him to be very mesmerizing. I also couldn't find a red one like I wanted so the orange one had to do and I'm happy I made that choice to pick and keep him. I just wish he'd be just a tad bit more lively. Well his name implies his color. Yep you guess it!! Orenji is Orange in Japanese. Pretty neat huh?? Lol. I think it suits him well.





Hawthorn


So I had been out looking at pets over the years, I'm personally more of cat lover than a dog lover. I like dogs but not to the point where they need to be walked and trained and unconditionally loved every day. It's too much, I love cats because they come get hugs and kisses and go on about their business. I can deal with that lol. A few weeks ago while I was at the Petco they had adoptable kittens and cats through the animal rescue league and human society. However kittens cost more. The $50 wasn't bad but the application fee was $100. But for me to adopt I needed to provide a house deed with my name on it and above all else I needed to be approve. So you're not guaranteed a pet but you've lost $100. Which I think is a bit much. Since a lot of people recommended that to me as an option, they too were shocked to learned that pets were no longer free and there was a new protocol to adopt.

I decided to try the pet stores. Majority of them have puppies and the cheapest one was $600, which is even more ridiculous. So I tried this one pet store close to my home. They had kittens which I got excited about but they were adoptable. The kittens and puppies all came from homes and were donated to go to new permanent homes. When I inquired about the adopting process I was even more elated to find out that all I needed was a driver's license and to pay for my kitten. Well the one I picked was friendlier than the others and when I got to spend time with him, I enjoyed his company a lot. I decided on a whim, to buy him. He only cost $70. No application fee or anything and only other charge was for his microchip to be activated which was $30. For the price of the application fee I got a healthy kitten no ifs, ands, buts or maybes. Unfortunately the only downfall is that they name them for you. I must admit, Hawthorn has grown on me. I got him to keep me company and have something to do. I also got him because I didn't want to wait or be forced to have an old cat who's set in their ways and because I thought I'd be at my house a lot sooner. Honestly I couldn't be happier to have Hawthorn, even if he is a mischievous little kitten.

Jealousy

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I never once thought that as an adult that others would let jealousy consume them to the point of childishness. I never let that cross my mind. Yeah sure I knew it happened in high school and even in college. But in the world of adulthood and responsibility?? Nah only if and when a love triangle is involved. Apparently I was wrong and assumed way too much.

My family has been going hot and cold on me about my mother's passing. My one set of aunt and uncle believe I'm a total fuck up and how I'm not putting in the effort to move back into the house or how I need to get a job asap and do this and how I shouldn't have brought my kitten (you can read more about him here) to how I'm not being responsible enough to "handle business" when they're basically bulldozing me over to do it first and not giving me the opportunity to be the adult they demand me to be. While my other aunt and uncle whom I currently live with are fine, I'm personally tired of the rules but I appreciate them helping me and treating me like an adult. Plus they don't have a problem with my having a kitten either. But I never thought people well into their 50s, 60s and 70s could bicker, argue and be so petty. The main reason is jealousy.

I understand that at my current situation I'm 26, I [sort of] own a house, and a car and never worked an actual job in my life. For some people that bothers them. I can understand that. I'm jealous everyone else gets to share many more years or the best years of their lives with their parents and families. However to get mad about it and try to find a faulty reasoning behind it, is ridiculous. I didn't ask to be in this situation, honestly I rather not have the house or car. I rather have more time with my parents, not for holidays or family time or gatherings—but just because.

What's even worst is the fact that jealousy brings out the ugliness in people. Some know it and others are in denial of it. My uncle got mad because the dining room has a motion sensor light switch, his wife is still going on about my cat and how I need to get my money back because he's a mutt. What may seem valueless or unnecessary to you doesn't mean that's true for everyone else.

I'm not saying we as humans should never be jealous, we have that as a right. Just like we're allowed to be mad, sad, happy or overwhelmed. Those emotions are our right as human beings. I'm jealous of people who have parents, or those who have their own families or even idiots who graduated college but I'm not going to take my anger out on them. I'm allowed to voice how I feel for my own personal reasons, but what's the point of me pitching a bitch. It won't change anything nor is my situation going to change. In their case, it won't rewrite the past to make your present and future any better. That's not how things work.

Unfortunately I don't like this situation and all the unnecessary emotional unbalances of other people. Nor do I like other people telling me how I'm suppose to be feeling. But what can you do when people let the jealousy bring out the envious ugliness of their soul?? Most say sit back and watch them make a fool of themselves. Sometimes, that's easier said than done.

Monday, September 30, 2013

I Don't Like Wasting My Time

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70's Karate Chop

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One of my Facebook friends shared this video and I did to but I had to come and share it with you guys and dolls. By far the funniest yet most awesomenest thing I've seen in a long time. 
I don't care what anyone says, the 70's rocked!! By the way men were sexy as all get out with them bell bottms on OH MY GOODNESS what happened?? lol



Saturday, September 28, 2013

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Hard Love

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C'mon & Kiss My Ass (^з^)-♥

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1-800-SEARCH-ME

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When it comes to Search Engine Optimization, I know I'm not the only person in the world who get's the gist of it but has no clue what the hell it's really about all-in-one. Now I can honestly say I've gotten a lot more involved with it since I began blogging more and wanting to attract a bigger audience and broaden my out reach. However in the beginning it didn't mean anything to me and I posted what I want and continued my lousy job as a so-called blogger.

It wasn't until I decided to get back into blogging and I noticed that one post I did in my attempts before to make some money via online, that it became a success. The funny thing about the Rockabye post is that not only did I not know what I was writing about, but I half assed the post. I didn't research or go find out, I just wrote something. It's kind of sad in a way but what I couldn't understand then is why is this post more popular than all my other posts?? Especially all of those I put a lot of time, hard work and damn good effort in? I didn't know and couldn't figure it out, why? I knew nothing about it.  So I decided to research the topic and see exactly what it was I acted like I knew tons about. I did.

But I also felt bad because I had created a lousy post on something I didn't take time to research and kind of left it out there hanging in the air with a broken URL link and no other information to go along with it. I took the time out to try to correct it as much as possible. Within this process, started something even better, I not only fixed it to the best of my abilities but I also was able to give the people who liked the post a reason to come back via the Rockabye Deals. Also around the same time, blogger had updated there system and added a "search description" which at first made some sense but then on the same token it didn't. However I soon caught on that this was to attract readers to your site via SEO. I suck at that lol. I instead give a short summary that's long enough to still be found when someone searches for something. Now there are many ways and reasons people use SEO to their advantage and some are very successful at pulling in an audience that way. Then there are some people who use it with the full intention of doing so for their advantage but instead turn it into a disadvantage unintentionally. In this case, many bloggers who want to be heard or seen has mad many mistakes when it comes to using SEO.

I personally say it's a curse and a blessing at the same time. When you get really involved and take time out to use keywords, some of the words aren't very post friendly and if you focus on many topics like I do, or a specific topic like make up or latch-hooking or why pornography is a lucrative career, the keyword "car" isn't going to help your page and it'll be a fruitless effort to make it work. I'm just saying. It reminds me of a royal, snobbish-snooty hashtag. This site gives a good description on those who use SEO. Which is the truth, and I agree with it. However I can say it has been very helpful in my getting more people to visit my blog from all parts of the world. Thus meeting new people, and hopefully in the process having subscribers and a more popular blog....someday. However everything requires baby steps, and sometimes that's better because you can turn something you thought would be better into something even greater.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

99% Of Not There

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Many Different Women; Many Different Faces

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While browsing my blog list this morning like a certified geeky digital newspaper loving dork that I am lol. I happen to come across something very interesting. I must say I was happy to see it and wish more people (men and women) understood what REAL NATURAL BEAUTY looked like. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, even more so if they have a beautiful personality. But to see these faces of everyday average looking women it made my heart melt with joy and happiness because actually a lot of these women are quite beautiful. I wish they would've incorporated more mixed races but that's another story, right??

I personally find the women from Brazil and Japan extremely attractive but that's me lol. I think if women understood that you can be just as beautiful without make up and gorgeous even with a wonderful personality and a great character—you'll only need the make up when there's a time to dress up or look even more fabulous, you know? Men, not all women need make up. Those that wear it constantly are trying to hide something uglier than their looks. The sad part about it is, it's not a "confidence boost" like everyone thinks. No in fact it's like you become a totally different person. Like a Halloween mask or Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. They get comfortable with that personality and eventually let's it consume them to the point they no longer know how to be themselves or feel comfortable as themselves. I refuse to wear make up and be a person I'm not. Plus with all of the nasty chemicals in it, it breaks my skin out—ew. Imagine this, Halle Berry is a pretty woman, however she take that revlon and easy, breezy cover mess off she is by far the most hideous thing you would ever see in life. Plus there was a time she had bad hair too. However with, good make up and a great hairstylist she can look like a antique painting. But also on the same token men, she has money that most average women don't. So don't set your expectations so high. Look at the personality first and wonder, "Can I deal with this individual for years to come???" There's no harm in it, you're not worrying about commitments of any sorts, you know? But be realistic, you've got to have something worth while to offer too! For me you having a job and helping with chores of the house is a plus. And you've got to know how to have a good time and laugh a lot too and don't shoo me away because there's a football game on, I wanna watch too! But that's me, doesn't take much to make me a happy Bunny lol. But most girls aren't as difficult as the sluts and skanks out there make you believe. 


Click the image above for a larger resolution and if that doesn't work click here.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Joann's Fabric & Craft Coupons

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Here you go fellow crafters!! Coupons to use in store or online!! 


Enjoy



The Mirrored Clock

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So my parents had this huge diamond shaped mirror clock in the living room. It's a beautiful clock and also very rare. However it's gotten rusted and a few of the metal piece numbers have popped off. 

I considered restoring it because it's such a nice clock, art—hell even a conversation piece beyond its time. However finding metal pieces similar to the ones on there has been more than just difficult. I've looked everywhere and can't find it. If I do come across something it's either sold out or out of stock be then I'm wondering what the fuck kind of craft stores are these??? 

I've decided for now I'll use smaller mirror piece, some gold glitter and make it work until I find what I'm looking for. Even finding replacement clock parts was a bitch. Hopefully I can get it restored and looking nice before it goes back up on the wall. 

It strikes me as odd that there is no other clock like that. And very little mirror clocks available. I dunno. Its been a strange last few weeks anyway lol. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

To Blog Or Not To Blog??

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A lot of people once they get into blogging they have to wonder well am I the only one or are there tons of people out there blogging? Believe or not there are tons of people who don't know that blogging is a big thing! It may seem unusual to some, but like I mentioned in my post WTF Is A Blog, it's been around for along time.

In the image below it tells you how many active blogs were in existence in 2011, well guess what?! Those numbers have gone up since then and there are more and more bloggers each day. Not everyone uses blogging as a diary or cathartic escape, not all of women who blog are mommies documenting little accomplishments made by mini-me's, and not all of us have the highest paying blog nor selling the bestest product that everyone needs in our lives. Some of us do it to connect with people, get to know more people, create a living even if the income is small, and some even blog for their job.

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Like I mention in my welcome page, I started blogging to share my poetry which then turned into a cathartic way to express feelings I couldn't always convey to friends or family which then evolved into telling stories or things that happened so other people out there knew that they're not the only screw up in the world. However I will say that I did try earning an income from my blogging but unfortunately I wasn't so successful with the ads and "pay-per-clicks." Then one day a few weeks ago in the midst of looking for a small time gig to do since I do now need an income to take care of my house, car and myself. I happened to come across the site BlogSkinny. I will say right now I am very pleased with what I do, it's nothing much but it's enough for what I need, mostly for now that's gas money for the car but it's still worth it. I couldn't be happier coming across that link that night.

I know you're wondering well why did you click on a link to something you knew nothing about?? Yeah, yeah I know there's always a risk for a virus, but also I'm in the situation that I do need a job but I can't go look for one because I have so much going on with my house and getting business straightened out that I don't have ENOUGH time to work whether it's full time or part time and to tell Boss Man or Boss Lady I can't come to work because the electric or the gas company is coming to turn my utilities on or that Mr. Repair man is coming to fix my broken bathroom, leaky kitchen or Mr. Landscaper is here to trim down the jungle in my backyard is a DEFINITE no no! It's worst enough to just start a job and even more detrimental to take off more than the assigned time (if you aren't on probation) for something I knew ahead of time that needed my undivided attention.

But this job is nice, they tell me when they have a post for me to write, I do it, turn it in and then I do get paid. That's the best part, unlike many of other places I've tried, I either got paid in points or it turned out to be some bogus webinar on how to make money if I had a bank account full of millions. If you're looking for a way to make money without having to make a permanent commitment or due to limited time in your scheduling then definitely click the image above or the sourced link to learn more. In the mean time if you're unsure about the whole thing about blogging or would like to start and don't know what to talk about, About.com has a wonderful article on The Top 10 Reasons why you should start blogging. I say if you want a fresh and active mind and keep your writing and typing in check it's a great hobby to get into. Even if you post small posts or just pictures or keep it private, it's a nice learning tool and then you get to see what everyone else is doing in the blogosphere. And remember to always stand out as much as possible!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Monday, September 16, 2013

The Voz, The Candy Dish & The House

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In the midst of still getting my life together. For the first time in my life I have to buy stuff for a house. I never considered how much of a chore this would be. 

I don't mean it's a HUGE GINORMOUS CHORE—but it's more complicated and involves a lot more thinking than people make you think. Most say, "oh I but the necessities." But what is that?? And most importantly what do you buy when you do know what you need?? 


While contemplating all this and learning what's what in the world or adulthood. Believe it or the first thing[s] I brought were new appliances. Yup brought a new refrigerator, stove, washer and dryer. However I must admit to me those were more of a "things I need." I won't be able to survive without a place to keep my food or cook it if I have to. And so I'm told washing clothes at the Laundromat in the winter time and having to work at the same time is pretty challenging. I'm happy I got a good deal (all four under $2000!). 

It wasn't until I went to the Big Lots after I picked up my car from being inspected and repaired. I went to look at rugs for the living room since all the carpeting is gone from my house. I didn't get one because I also need to measure the room before I buy. Another thing that I wasn't considering. Well while I was there I decided to browse at furniture and then go look at linen, kitchen accessories, even placemats! I decided to look at the décor and hopefully get an idea of how I would like to arrange and decorate the rooms when everything gets done. And definitely after I repaint too. 

While I'm browsing, I came across this oddly shaped doubled vase. It's white and has writing on it in black and many different grays. It was abnormal, unique and just plain beautiful. I fell in love with it. I also knew it was the time to be buying things like that. However it was the only one, so I trusted my gut and brought. It was by far the best feeling I've had in a long time. I brought something I wanted to make my home look better, to make my home look the way I wanted. Even though the vase I brought is going in my bedroom I still was happy. 


Then I saw this awesome glass bowl that someone decorated as a candle holder with potpourri and glass beads. I said to my inlet I'm going to get a bowl like that and fill it up with jelly beans for my aunt (his wife). But every place I went I could find a big one and it was glass. I wanted a plastic bowl. It wasn't so much the design but the bowl itself if it was plastic the happier I would be. Today I went to the craft store to get parts and replacement pieces for this huge diamond shaped mirror clock my parents had. I was happy to know it work but not that the golden strip "numbers" were rusted and two had fallen off. Even the hands were rusted too. While I was roaming about the craft store I came across an aisle that had all different types of candle holders. I find the bowl I had seen! I was excited but disappointed it was so BIG! Then guess what?! Found a smaller replica and I couldn't be happier! I snatched up and put it with the placemats and cups I brought the day before. The placemats are for what will soon be the kitchen table set and then 8 colorful cups. Because I'll know I'll have lots of company. 

I must say the more I think about buying stuff to accommodate my new living situation, I'm actually getting excited and having more fun than I had hoped! Even though I didn't buy the house or go through the self proclaiming proud moment like everyone else, I'm still happy. 


I can't wait to see how this all will turn out over the next few weeks. I think by the end of next month it'll be absolutely FABULOUS and I'll be able to show off at my Halloween party I'm having too lol. Of course it's 5 days before and going to be at lunch time so the old people can get home before it gets dark lol. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Art Portfolio Flashback

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Now I recall being in college and when I was in the middle of switching my majors. I realized then I would not only need to transfer campuses but I also needed an art portfolio. Which isn't a bad idea when you've been working on it for years and building it up into a spectacular masterpiece. However I needed the portfolio if I wanted to go to the main campus (of Penn State) otherwise I wasn't allowed into the program. What made it worst because I was going into Integrative Arts with an emphasis in Visual Communications, I was required to have all art in my portfolio. So that mean, traditional drawing and paintings, multimedia based art, even video, film and three-dimentional art as well. Well I needed to take many more classes to get that far, heck I even need to have some computer aided drafting and architectural designs, even interior designs and all I had was my cute little doodles and paint by whatevers from my art classes.

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However when I saw this picture, I was actually shocked but yet I was kind of happy. I wish there was such a thing when I was in college to help take off the frustration and pressures of putting a portfolio together. Because if it's not done in a professional matter; you will not be taken seriously and presentation is everything when it comes to the world of art and visuals. I think this is a wonderful idea even if a fee is charged, it's still worth it in the end if you've got the passion and the talent to become more than just a paint-by-numbers doodle artist. Then again if you're like me, just deciding that this is what you want to do, getting a portfolio together and not knowing what to put in it can be challenging. Every place is different but I say if you at least have a few works already that can be plus, and it can show the beholder how much you've grown and how much your art has evolved over the years. Here's a wonderful website here giving a basic example of what an art portfolio should house. Another good art portfolio is DeviantArt. Even though it's online based, it still gives you the chance to see what others have in their "portfolios" and give you an idea of what you should be doing. As well as you get to learn of all the different categories within the arts, if you find one you like then work on that and make that your strongest point while also engaging in other things you've never done before (find me on DeviantArt here).

I can honestly say I've always love drawing and coloring and enjoyed the outcome of everything I colored or drew. However over the recent years I took an interest in to manga and anime artwork. I find it beautiful, colorful and unique in its own way. Was I mangaka no, am I now after going to Manga Univeristy? No. But I found something I enjoy and I think I do a pretty good job at it. But I love it so much that I want to become better at and that moment I think is when an artist knows what they're truly good at. If not, then I know I'm great at drawing stick figures and facial expressions lol.

But here are a few of my drawings, I have a few that sucks and that's ok but it's good to say oh hey I'm getting better at this too! The two pictures below I freelanced in Draw Something 2. The eye (which is one thing I love to draw) was done on my iPhone while the Princess Kida was done on my HTC phone.







I actually used a tutorial to draw the picture below. 
It had been awhile since I drew something and decided to do a tutorial.
 I must Mark Crilley is a fantastic artist as well as teacher so to speak. 

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