Thursday, November 29, 2012

Bunny's Confessions #30

"A Sinning Saint"

Now I know I'm not perfect. I also don't aim to be. That's an expectation I can never reach nor fully see clearly on any given day. However it doesn't mean in horrible person either.

I know I've done my share of dirt and hell I'm not a Virgin, I've lied and cheated in many ways more possible than thunked. There are even some things I regret doing and others I wish I had approached a different to end up with a better outcome. But knowing all of that and knowing I'm imperfect at best—I know I'm not a bad person.

I take offense when people act like I'm the worst person on the planet. Me having piercing and tattoos have turned me into this crazed rebel, my hanging out with more guys over girls makes me a slut, then the comfortability I worked hard to achieve in talking about sex and everything that follows immediately makes me a porn star webcam girl, my goings at night got my neighbors thinking I'm a escort. Then they wrap all that up together and say how much of a bad influence I am. Well the honest truth, no I might not be trophy wife or college graduate material but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I don't need to run to a church to clear my conscious or make me feel better. I'm human and that's all I can be. Everything in life is built on risks, luck and opportunity.

No I may not want to get married any more because I feel it's not worth it anymore and doesn't hold the same value. But it doesn't mean I don't want a family of my own. I hate cooking doesn't mean I have to aim to be a chef or make myself think that it's just like baking when it's not. So don't expect me to be a saint when there's always going to be a temptation of some sort to make sin and do wrong. If anything I'm sinning saint and I'm ok with that. I know that when I do something wrong, I make it up by doing some good of some sort. It may not be much, but I feel it's an equal trade.

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