Thanks for taking the time to visit my site!
but Personality gets Attention...
It's said that asking people questions lets you get to know them better...
Friday, November 30, 2012
I saw these awesome shoes on facebook. These are by far some of the most awesomenest shoes I've seen all year long, well maybe not, I did see a pair that was $800 that were gorgeous. Yea I'm a shoe whore but I prefer sneakers any day =D.
Anyway while I was searching as to where they came from someone posted a link in the comments. Apparently someone awesome on Etsy make some that look similar but are also just as beautiful.
Well both of these lovely shoes are meant to be wedding material, however if it were me I'd get me a bad ass dress and rock it out and make all the skanks jealous!! Yea you may have a new iphone but I got bad ass shoes and a dress to match—HOLLA!! lol
If you're interested in seeing the Etsy shoes click here!
If you think you can definitely afford these shoes or definitely decide to have these beautifuls for your wedding, I definitely want to see a picture!! ^_^
If I could ever get the chance to have a do over in life I would take it in a heart beat. I would try my best to make what I want happen regardless of the circumstances. I would try to make it work when life happens unexpectedly. I would even hope that the second time around I would accomplish my lifetime goal in time without having to worry about other people and how they'll affect my future. I would have that perfect carefree life everyone talks about and have those good, great friends you hear stories about as a child. I would be ever so thankful and happy to be right where I belong. Even more elated to the fact that I'm apart of the puzzle and to be accepted and respected. I wouldn't even care if people didn't like me or refused to get to know me—just being acknowledge and accepted is good enough for me. I would do everything in my power to become a better person and go overboard to be a better woman. Because I definitely would want to be wanted, along with loved and kept in somebody's heart for a very long time. Not to have my appearance be misjudged or mistaken for something else. I would even do my best to be a stronger person for when it counted. Definitely learn not to let what other people say or do to me harm me in any way or form. I would even take time to learn that my body deserves respect and my heart deserves love, protection and respect. I would want to go that extra step—that extra mile to see what's in store for the journey I walked and endured. I would definitely want to make it count the second time around. If I could ever get a chance like that, I'd be the happiest person in the world. Hell, anybody would—
However, if I did that, I would never get to see what would ever happen to me at this point in my life and what follows. I must say the curiosity of what will happen next keeps me from straying to the darkness. Then again, if I could is nothing more than just wishful thinking, that one day all of this pain and heartache will turn out for the best.
For now, I take all of my experiences and hold them tight. For when I get to the next life I know I'll try even harder to make that one work—just like I always wanted...
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Thursday, November 29, 2012
Now I know I'm not perfect. I also don't aim to be. That's an expectation I can never reach nor fully see clearly on any given day. However it doesn't mean in horrible person either.
I know I've done my share of dirt and hell I'm not a Virgin, I've lied and cheated in many ways more possible than thunked. There are even some things I regret doing and others I wish I had approached a different to end up with a better outcome. But knowing all of that and knowing I'm imperfect at best—I know I'm not a bad person.
I take offense when people act like I'm the worst person on the planet. Me having piercing and tattoos have turned me into this crazed rebel, my hanging out with more guys over girls makes me a slut, then the comfortability I worked hard to achieve in talking about sex and everything that follows immediately makes me a porn star webcam girl, my goings at night got my neighbors thinking I'm a escort. Then they wrap all that up together and say how much of a bad influence I am. Well the honest truth, no I might not be trophy wife or college graduate material but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I don't need to run to a church to clear my conscious or make me feel better. I'm human and that's all I can be. Everything in life is built on risks, luck and opportunity.
No I may not want to get married any more because I feel it's not worth it anymore and doesn't hold the same value. But it doesn't mean I don't want a family of my own. I hate cooking doesn't mean I have to aim to be a chef or make myself think that it's just like baking when it's not. So don't expect me to be a saint when there's always going to be a temptation of some sort to make sin and do wrong. If anything I'm sinning saint and I'm ok with that. I know that when I do something wrong, I make it up by doing some good of some sort. It may not be much, but I feel it's an equal trade.
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Wednesday, November 28, 2012
I've always wondered what life would be like to have a sibling. Most preferably a sister. At first it was a daunting thought and always perplexed me. Then as time grew on, I enjoyed the small luxuries of being the only child. No sharing, no watching your baby sister, no you can do this because you baby sister can't. Didn't have those to worry about.
Then all of that changed. I consider those who have siblings should learn to sacrifice your differences and love that person. When times get hard and tough they'll be all you got. Looking at it now I wish I did have a sibling. Someone I could be close to and not feel so alone. Never having good friends or a good extended family kinda ruins ones outlook on all the positivity people say these things hold. I'm not saying it can't be true, but for me it was always a negative. But to have someone to feel close to and feel comfortable and safe with. To spend time with. It has to be fabulous. Even knowing my mother won't be here forever, I think having a sibling would've made me a bit happier. It'll at least let me know that the future wasn't so bleak and lonesome and cold.
For now all I can do is wish that next lifetime I'll get a baby sister and definitely an older brother. My sister will love me with all her heart and my brother will protect me from all harm that tries to invade my pure heart.
That's exactly what I'd love to have next time ^_^.
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Tuesday, November 27, 2012
I've never really been a fan of odd numbers in the first place and I absolutely hate 7 over any of them. It's never been a lucky number for me. I was born in 1987. My mom and mine birthdays are 17 days apart. My dad had an aneurism when I was 7 months old, my mom had her brain surgery when I was 17. Dad died when I was 21—even my telephone numbers and social security number has a 7 in them. It's like a plague. No matter how hard I try to get away, it's trailing behind me full speed.
However I will say when I turned 14 that was a good year and I had a lot of fun. When I turned 7 I lost my baby doll. When I turned 10, I had just moved to a new school and didn't have any friends. Not by my standards but because the kids were awful. When I turned 20! OMG!! On May 7, 2007 I had this really bad trip I didn't fall but I scrapped both my feet up and twisted both my ankles crazy I know. Then 6 months, 7 days later (November 14, 2007), I fall and ended up with a head contusion. I had scraps and cuts all over my face and hands but thank goodness that glass bottle didn't break when I fell.
To be honest, I'm not looking forward to 27 or 30. I mean geez it's 1 year, 5 months and 23 days from now! Ugh! Makes my tummy hurt.
Whoever came up with such a silly notion that 7 was lucky is just as crazy as whoever said all good things come in threes. Odd numbers are just terrible period :p.
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The whole while the Visualist is wondering why we came out to sea in the first place without a destination or pliable reason. Lol.
All my life I've always been a visualist. It just wasn't brought to my attention until later. I never had an issue but I enjoyed asking what ifs and wondering if one action could spring off into a chaos of other actions—good, bad or indifferent. I wanted to look at all of the picture. I didn't want to miss what could be a very important detail. Unfortunately whilst the others are arguing over a glass of water. I'm wonder weather or not if we can have a better more visually appeasing glass that houses something more than just water like juice or soda lol.
I remember one day in high school and I had a disagreement with one of my teachers. She was cooky woman who never comb her hair nor bathed regularly and couldn't teach class without bringing up her grand kids or how she knew my uncle from time to time. Well she was determined this day oh well we'll say we're arguing over the color blue. It went something like this:
: Class this is the color Blue. It is blue and only blue and will forever stay blue.
: But what if it's not blue?
: I beg your pardon? What other color would it be?
: it could be a teal that appears to be blue, even a purple that resembles blue.
: Bunny, this is the color Blue.
: Yes that is its appearance but it's not blue.
: Then enlighten us Bunny what color do you call this then?
: You're a Visualist. Blue is Blue.
: Well if that's the case Miss. Then there wouldn't be Royal Blue, Navy Blue, Turquoise, Light Blue, Periwinkle, Baby Blue...
: What are you a Crayola expert?? Shut up!
: Thank you. Moving on.
that wasn't blue—it's cornsilk...
I went home that day and told my dad what happened. He told me not worry and made mention that one of his high school teachers called him a Russian Communist. Which at the time I didn't find hilarious. But my parents did tell me if I believed that the color was in fact cornsilk then that's all that matters. Just as long I believed in that feeling and voiced it that's fine. Others can agree or disagree and that's ok. For the longest time I never understood that nor could I grasp it. You wouldn't say the color Pink is Red just because it's a diminutive of the Red hue family right??
Even in college I saw things differently and achieved things in my own way—that's how it should be. Unfortunately when you do that you're labeled as being strange or ill-equipped. Either way that's fine too. I see things for what they are. Like job searching:
The optimist will say he has enough experience for a job.
The pessimist will say he only has a little bit of experience but still capable of doing the job.
The realist will say I have 3 college degrees.
The Visualist is saying I don't have the necessary education for the job due to circumstances, nor do I have the experience but it doesn't mean I cannot be taught the job and work it as good as the ones above me.
Maybe one day this will be taken into account that the oddest of people in life are visualists. They looked at all of the picture not just the key parts or the main subject. We wouldn't have the inventions we use on a daily basis if those people didn't think that something more could be done.
Right now I would like to defy the world and let them know, not everyone needs to go to college to perform a job. Show me twice I've got it down pat by the third time. I've always been a fast learner and I love learning something knew. I may not remember it all but it's the fact I experienced a new task out of my daily routine that makes it worth my while.
Even though people feel that my excessive blogging is ridiculous and how I need to make friends and find a marriage partner. I see differently. I get to talk to people who care to read what I write. Those who may feel the way I do, those who want to learn something new or even those who need a laugh or something to feel dedicated to. Whatever the reason it maybe for other people to visit this blog. That's why I do it. It makes me happy and makes them happy and that's biggest most beautiful work of art of them all ^_^.
Yes you know the blue conversation was just metaphorically speaking—I won't deny that I wouldn't argue it though XD!
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Monday, November 26, 2012
Anyway unfortunately the night before black friday or of it either way, the bathroom lights went out. So since it wasn't the light bulbs I knew it was definitely the fuses. I had been wondering but dreaded the very thought of changing them because of our returning tenants living in the basement and garage. Yes we have crazy hood ghetto rats living down there who only come during the winter -_- they're so crazy they've eaten the soap and toothpaste even the mail. Like what the hell??
Anyway so I'm disgusted I have to go down there. Now the best part, I don't know where fuses are that we brought which was months ago like warm weather! So I ran out on Black Friday to go get fuses. Picked up a few other things that were necessary like a miniature cap gun to keep them at bay since they don't like noises. We also needed a new extension cord and light bulbs for one of the rooms.
There I was checking out in Kmart. I decided to buy up the whole available stock of fuses 30amp (see photo) because those were what I needed. I go to check out and everyone is still in that Black Friday kick ass mode and I wanted out of there so I could change the fuses during the day no such luck though. I put my things on the counter and the woman is ringing them up.
This old couple that was behind me just jumped all in my personal bubble. Then this is what happened:
: Are you even buying the right fuses?
: Excuse me?
: It's apparent you're buying the wrong fuses, the 30amp doesn't work and you need 15amp fuses.
: No thanks. I got what I needed and the 30 are what I need.
: Well you're going to be sorry because when your fuses blow, your lights are going to go out and you'll be in the dark.
: The 30 are what I need ok, our house is older and this is what they use. Thank you but I know what my house needs.
So I'm about to pay for the items tell me why his wife moved me out of the way to see how much I owed the woman and how I was paying for it. It's like excuse me?! So the old guy refuse to stop arguing so I left in a hurry. Now at this point in mad as hell, I got to battle with gladiator hill district rats and this old douchewaffle was just telling me what the smurf to do at my house!
Well I get home and I go to change the fuses. The rats thinking I was down there longer than necessary decided to intimidate me by making noise. So I got my little cap gun out and started shooting away like I was The Rifleman. Thankfully there was a bottle of ammonia and they're not fond of the smell so i dump a bunch of it by the door in case I needed a quick getaway. Plus I didn't want the raccoons getting friendly with the garage either. So I had noticed that they had chewed a hole in the basement door and chewed up a old box and I figured they don't like the basement much. It floods often and is always damp and cold. Now the fuse box is located behind a 40 year old freezer and I have to squeeze past that and some old panelling my dad had that's old, warped and hard to move. I called and told my mom to call me when ALL the lights came on.
So there I am changing the fuses and I hear this creepy music coming on strong. I'm like:
WTF?! Have the wolverines and raccoons come to kick my ass and eat me??? Are there gonna be zombies?? I really don't want to run tonight....
So since I'm forever alone literally and I don't get any phone calls of whatsoever. I changed my ringtone to Michael Jackson Thriller for Halloween. Didn't even know I didn't change it to something else. That's how sad and pathetic my life is lol. I pick up and it's mom and I'm like what mom??
I'M IN THE DARK OH MY GOODNESS!!!! Bathroom lights are on (´･Д･)」
Mom I said to call me when ALL THE LIGHTS CAME ON AND STAYED ON! (-｡-;
Oh oh ok sorry I'll call back ( ^ω^ ).
Why me?! I thought.
So back to changing fuses. Not only am I a fattie but I'm also short and I can barely reach the fuses. I dropped 3 of the 5 that I needed to change. Then I got shocked by one of the fuse sockets. After a time I got em all in and mom called and told me it worked out. So I was happy.
Then the rats tried to intimidate me again and I set off a few more rounds. Then poured the rest of the ammonia out on the ground. Then I locked the doors and hauled ass to the car to go get the rest of the stuff my mom wanted.
All I can say I hope I don't have to change the fuses until next year—no make that the next 5 years (-｡-;
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This is the kind of stuff I love to read OMG!! I love reading a damn good manga that houses the most awesome sentences ever created!! Makes me wonder why can't real mean be this smoove in the "get your panties melted off" department??? UH!
Sorry kids, I had to share that lol. And if any of you know the name of this Manga I would really appreciate it a bunch!! ^_^
To answer his question.......HAI HAI!!!
Update!: Because someone asked what the name of the Manga this picture originated from, I decided to go on a quest to find out. Thankfully to a fellow Otaku I found out what it was! It's Watashi ni XX Shinasai! Chapter 42
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Because my dad is actually mixed in race. I never really knew what my race was. There's only the skin color categories but to be honest I never fit. Too Caucasian for the African Americans and too African American for the Caucasians. So it's like what exactly am I?
Well my mom told me her aunt always said my dad was one of those "Japtalians." He looked white but was black, yet had a white father (who to this day is unknown) and a black mother. He was strange and not many people who claim the color race look like him even strictly by genetics. Just not possible or at least I don't think so lol.
It wasn't until we had to bury my dad and we received his birth certificate. My mama said he always wanted to be black because he felt comfortable with that. Yet when he went into the military they marked him a Caucasian and refused to change it. At least until he died. They marked his race as Not Applicable on his death certificate. Well he had the features of a white man and spoke and acted as such as well. But he considered hisself black, I mean he did love chicken so...
Well as I grew up I always noticed that people would stare or point and whisper. My parents never taught me that color should be a factor with someone. It's their personality and all about character. That's as it should be. Even thought I was never deemed mixed race, I was treated as such. I never did like that. But I had no choice but to accept it.
I remember one day arguing with my dad over something silly and he asked me what my excuse was and I told him it was because I am a Japtalian. He couldn't help but laugh at the fact I through the argument for a whirl. I enjoyed that. I felt comfortable than being called a mutt or an other. There are many people who don't have a race define and the ones available don't match up. So therefore I say those mutts and others are Japtalians as well.
It wasn't until a few years ago when I made mention on twitter in a joke that I was raised in the Land of Japtaly. One of my friends laughed and found it to be hilarious. My ancestors came from Japoli a nice quant little town outside of the capital of Japtaly. We love all kinds of foods and we are mostly eccentric eclectics who are easily distracted by mesmerizing things, we know about many different culture and always willing to learn something new—does this sound like you?? Then you are Japtalian as well :D!
It might be silly but I think it should be an option.
I'm Japtalian and I know it. So was my father. I may not be a pure biracial like most out there, but I'm a good back up and I know they at jealous—no just kidding lol.
Maybe one day this can be turned into something great in a positive note of course ^_^.
Oh? So where exactly is the Land Of Japtaly?? It's was off the North Western coast of Atlantis. When Atlantis sunk it let out this huge tidal wave and washed our little country to pieces. Whilst sending the ancestors all over the world to incubate and inhabit new land. Poor great-great-great-great grandmother Annemarie and her dear sister Genevieve.
I'm just making that up but that sounds like a great story doesn't it??? Lol
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Saturday, November 24, 2012
Ok so I know I have to approach this delicately. Because yeah this can backfire on me lol.
So here we go.
My name is Bunny and I am a Grammar Nazi.
Now most of you who know me know I wasn't as staunch about it as I am now. At one time I did care back in preteen years and I guess that's how I developed into a good writer. Plus I had great English teachers too ;D lol.
There was a time on here back when I used to write the way I talk and that wasn't ok nor fabulous. It was just down right disgusting. Why I did it I guess I was confused and all messed up in the head. Then someone brought it to my attention. I still think the play on words here and there are find and fun. However it's difficult to know what anybody is trying to say when they write in their own code that only them and them alone can decipher. It's pretty ridiculous.
Then after interacting with people who didn't speak good English and don't get me started on the foreigners who wanted to talk American slang—oh good heavens! It was absolutely a total eye sore!!
So I decided it was time to clean up my act and start writing the way I talk but in a more proper way. I may drop the F-bomb every now and then—well ok OFTEN! But somedays fork and frenchtoast just don't do it for me lol. I do try to go over my mistakes and make sure things are worded in a clarifying way that everyone can understand. Even more so since I reach many countries other than those who speak English only. Nothing worst than translating something and it comes out indecipherable!
Unfortunately this love is forbidden and quite a problem. Especially when I see people write things I immediately correct it and go about my daily business like nothing has happen. Which is wrong! Lol. I'm trying to work on it kids. Like the thing about the OMG—yeah but you can't blame me some people just shouldn't write out their stupidity. You're actions are enough.
Now that I think back on it I probably should've went to college to major in English or become an English instructor instead lol.
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I remember awhile back maybe in the beginning of the year, someone I can't recall I they were male or female told me how ugly I was. I'll be honest, it caught me off guard because the last time I heard such a thing was in high school during the time I was being bullied and picked on. At the time I heard this I found this to be quite humorous and decided to ignore it. I'm cute by my standards and that's all that mattered.
Then during the spring and summer this year I guess you can say turned sour and had more people calling me ugly and unpretty. Even had a few guys called me Hideously Ugly. Made mention of all this for Day 24. I accepted it single handedly all over again like back in my school days.
Then something came about and said,
What do you care, remember??
Hmm. Hadn't thought about that in a long time. It made realize I was letting silly people ruin my mood even if for a second or a few moments. Letting what they said get the best of me.
No I may not have the perfect hour glass shape but I'm trying hard. I can't help it if sweets tastes so good darnit! I may not be super model tall or super model pretty—but I consider myself cute enough and that is good enough for me. I refuse to roam about this earth thinking I'm the most beautifulest thing that ever walked the land when it's not true and there will always be another to replace such high observed beauty. I am me and that's all I can be. I'm not perfecting myself to impress anybody or to be eligible for a relationship. I'll do so on my own terms and for me most of all. The Cutie will just become Cuter (did you get it?? Corny I know lol!)
Maybe in a sense this is a follow up to what I wrote 6 months ago on the same exact number lol. Maybe next time when I look back on this I can say heck yeah! You did the damn thing and rocked it out of this world! Or something like that lol.
Whether I get a boyfriend or a marriage proposal in this life or not. That doesn't matter to me. I know who I am and I've still got some searching to do to find all of me and be what I want to be, approvals not needed—no suggestions, no complaints either.
So for now there's nothing wrong with being imperfect. Just like there's nothing wrong with being unpretty. I'm imperfectly unpretty and I'm ok with that. If I wasn't, then definitely for sure I'd be hideously ugly like they say, right?? ^_^
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Friday, November 23, 2012
Due to being an only an child I've spent a good majority of time being alone. Wasn't that I wanted to, didn't have much of a choice. I didn't have siblings and as for cousins they were all older than me by at least 10 years or younger males at that. So wasn't much there.
As time grew on I learned to accept the silence and become one with it. Even now I'm at my most contented state alone and quiet listening the to the ambience around me and letting my mind wander peacefully.
I will admit and say there are times where I do get lonely. I crave for the attention and interaction of another human being. But nowadays they've gotten so stupid and vindictive you really don't want to interact with them. Unless you're giving free sex, money or willing to be used more than a recycled condom—you can forget getting close to someone to share everything with and not be so lonely.
For a moment over the summer while I was out, star gazing. I wished I had someone there gazing on with me. Someone I can say, "Oh look! There's Jupiter, Taurus and Hercules" without them saying how stupid it is or bored they are. Someone I actually have something in common with that I can talk to forever and a day and never have to wonder will we be friends next year?? Will I'll be able to still call this person my closest confidant in 10 years??? Those things always trail through my mind from time to time.
Then I think about all the hurt and pain I went through trying to make and keep friends. How I always came up short, upset, hurt and most of all I always ended up alone. They made new friends without me and to this day some no longer speak to me even though I took the extra step to make our relationship work. They won't call to see if I'm ok, won't even wish me a happy birthday. I only exist when they want a birthday or baby shower present. I'm only an optional alternative. They go about life happy and contented no problems no issues and here I am unhappy and disgusted.
So eventually I got tired of all of that. I've decided that its best if I leave people alone all together. Now I know I can't be sure who will hurt me and who will stay and love me forever—I understand that. But I also don't need to be mistreated in the process or deemed as just an attendee who'll bring a gift. I deserve more than that. If people don't want to take the time to get to know me and let us have some type of relationship without them flaking out. Then maybe I wouldn't be so bitter and mean to people. Then maybe, just maybe I wouldn't say I want to be left alone either.…
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Thursday, November 22, 2012
It's funny how this was strategically placed isn't it?? Lol.
Well while most people are fattening themselves for Thanksgiving today. More than likely after all the leftovers are gone, they'll be back on the food grind for Christmas and come January they'll be working out like crazy cave people trying to snag a wholly mammoth for dinner.
I for one never liked exercising. It's such a chore to me and I don't know how people have the get up and go to do so. It's tiring just talking about it. I blame exercise for making people skinny and making me looking like a buff boy in high school.
But I will say I appreciate the moderate exercising I did get (since I also flunked gym every year except for one). After I got to college I had aches and pains I didn't have before and didn't like it too much. You would think with all the walking to and from class we would be ultra fit! However those late nights eating junk food because the cafeteria closes before you even get a potty break in class kinda packs the weight on. I went from a size 18 starting college to a size 26 back down to a 20 which wasn't too bad. But still a problem.
Well when I decided back in late march that I wanted to lose some weight. I would do whatever possible to do so. Unfortunately since I have a bad back, only so much I can do. If I had painkillers—GREAT! But since I don't we got to keep it extra safety lol. What I've been doing is walking a lot. I've noticed my back doesn't hurt as much as it did last year. So that's a plus. I park far away so I can get my fast walk on to and from the car. I walk around the store an extra few minutes if its not crowded or late.
I would walk up here by the house but unfortunately there's pitbulls and evil raccoons who always are ready to attack. So I chose safety over weight.
One exercise I did like was working with the Wii. It's fun and interesting and holds my attention. Who wants to stare at a buff sweaty man screaming his own name while he has mirror sex with himself (Mirror Sex—the art of checking oneself out in the mirror longer than necessary)?? Ew no thanks, I'm good.
Ehh maybe over these next few years it'll get easier and make more sense. Just got to find an exercise that entertains me and holds my attention as well as helps me lose weight.
So don't feel discourage fellow couch potato, I don't like exercising either lol.
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Like always I'll have to admit I but off more than I could chew. Then while I sit here I have to say that if I didn't do that it wouldn't be much of a challenge now would it?? Keep Calm & Bunny On!
When I planned this project. I'll admit and say I didn't have it all together and more or less winged it up until now. Probably will do so until the end. However a friend was talking to me on Facebook and made mention that this project sounded similar to 50 Shades Of Grey. I am not though so we don't get a mix up here lol. But I thought about it and I liked the titled but we were about to drag this out for 50 Days!! I got a Christmas project to do! Lets not forget the Sims and the novel isnt finished either!! We ain't got time for all of that. So I decided to include it anyway in some way or form lol.
Now since I couldn't get all my confessions in. I decided that I would write down 50 confessions, one sentence only—in no particular order. It'll be tough but I'm sure I can do it lol.
So buckle those seat belts it going to be a bumpy ride!
And away we go!
1. I had severely crossed teeth as a child and they were bucked bad.
2. I actually have no bones in my month above my top front teeth due to removal after a head concussion.
3. Never been out on date nor had a boyfriend ever.
4. A piece of string amazes me like it does cats
5. French Fries/Potato Wedges taste good with Tostitos Con Queso Dip.
6. French fries also taste good when dipped in ice cream.
7. I'm not much of a domesticated woman, but I will try lol.
8. I hated spending time with my parents and now I regret it the most.
9. I believe in Superstitions.
10. I talk to myself probably more so than others.
11. I hate the outdoors, always have and always will.
12. I'm a tomboy at heart even though I act a bit girly sometimes.
13. Believe it or not right now as I type this, I don't have any friends.
14. I'm a procrastinator.
15. I've turned into a judgmental cunt because people judged me too much in life.
16. I love to clean and wash clothes and by #7 I mean housewifery.
17. I don't like change and it's hard for me to adjust and accept it.
18. I always wish upon a star.
19. Saw my first shooting star during the summer.
20. I'm more of a Vampire than a Night Owl lol.
21. I believe that all men are shallow and hypocritical.
22. I'm only a fattie because I love to eat sweets and junk food lol.
23. I'm selfish, demanding and egotistical at time—but hey I'm an only child, I'm suppose to be.
24. Deep down I still would want to like to get married and have a family—just who I am conflicts that.
25. My mom didn't know she was pregnant with me and only had a 13-day pregnancy.
26. When I get attached to someone I begin to fall in love them.
27. I've traveled to Kailua-Kona, Hawaii and loved it!!
28. I can't ride a bike, rollerblade or swim.
29. I've died before—quite a few times.
30. I hate the holidays Thanksgiving and Easter.
31. I pick my nose and giggle at fart jokes like a hyena XD.
32. I learn something new everyday due to the poor education I received.
33. I was really scared when I got my tongue pierced.
34. I've had my piercings pierced over again same whole due to the jewelry falling out and my hole closing up.
35. I get lost easily.
36. I don't always understand simple directions.
37. The little Japanese I do know wasn't learned by watching anime but because I took courses in it as a kid.
38. My mom dressed me up in a Sailor Fuku for picture day at school when I was in elementary lol.
39. My first love is Food, then it's Sims and Sailor Moon.
40. I don't remember who I had my first kiss with.
41. When I cold I get extremely sleepy, coffee also has the same affects (makes me sleepy).
42. I like cream and honey in my tea ever since I was kid.
43. My favorite color wasn't always blue; it was red and orange.
44. I laugh in my sleep like people snore and sleep with m eyes open XD.
45. I'm afraid of our backyard, always have been.
46. I love computer aided drafting and building homes as well.
47. I just had the most epic epiphany to make an awesome adjustment to my Sims home.
48. I easily get distracted like in #47 lol.
49. I know I'm imperfect, strange and weird; but I'm a good person once you get to know me and you'll love me to death—figuratively speaking.
50. And I did this post in the most easiest and laziest possible way lol.
Nothing fantastic but a confession is a confession right?? Lol XD
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When we all get to experience good love we feel that there is nothing else like it. It's only one of a kind. When you truly think about it, love is always perceived as a positive good thing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. However it does create a problem when all you've known is good love and then you experience the bad, the ugly, the death defying and tough loves.
I always felt that even thought some may not have to like me you can still show some compassion. Because I would do it to you. But that all changed after being bullied and picked on in high school and have people in college act like I'm not suppose to receive an equal adequate education. That is when I experienced tough love.
After college I finally experienced true love. I loved every single moment of it, until it got crushed and taken from me before I could act on it. Not that it would've made much difference. Married men are oh so holy!! Ehh that's bullshit, if I do say so myself. Then I tried for true love again and I enjoyed that love as well. Until my love was seen as nothing more than a novelty and the wonderful moment which followed about my having to get home the best way I knew how because I refused to show any type of intimate love—love flew out the window faster than it came in. That my friends are the ugly and bad loves.
Now the death defying love I've never experienced and I doubt there's that much love in the world. However it exists. Ever hear that girl talk about how much she loves her man and yet he beats her up every chance he gets?? Yeah, it's beautiful how he ends a sucker punch "I love you to death.....and I mean it to." Call it psychotic, call it love—call it what you may. But if a dude so much looks at me wrong I'm going to war!! But that's not love it's abuse that both the abuser and abusee loves in a weird substantial sort of way. Death Defying Love—no thanks.
There isn't any good, true, bad, or ugly loves like I originally thought. There's only true love and tough love. True love meaning that its pure, true and you don't need to second guess it. Like parental love. Now the latter isn't always portrayed you usually experience that on your own. Sometimes in small doses and sometimes like mine in a grand canyon dose that turns you jaded, scorn and bitter. But think about it—who would want to hear a sad story about a girl who fell in love with a man who was already betrothed and happy, then we find our heroine pregnant by another man who never loved and also loved two others. It leaves her unhappy, bitter and scorn; Jaded by the mere presence of love??
I don't think that would be a blockbuster, do you??
In some cases, we all need a little bit of tough love. What doesn't kill us is suppose to make us stronger and more wiser. But on the same token that's not always hold true.
But I will say this those that experience heavy non stop doses of tough love, will in fact turn into a Tough Lover...you're looking at one ;).
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A few people have told me that I can be very off standish at times. It's not because I didn't want to bothered or talk to someone new. It's mostly out of a reflex. I get nervous and panic and my first thing to do is run away to a safe place. Hmm, odd that part of me haven changed within the past 15 years if not more I dunno.
Even to this day I do the same thing. Wether I run to the car or get home. I get over my anxiety attack and I'm comfortable again unless its someone I know and I feel comfortable with, then I can make eye contact and not be afraid so to speak. I can't honestly believe that I can't get rid of it. Maybe it's the thought of communicating that brings out the absolute worst in my and I panic and lose all intelligence and run away in pure stricken fear....or maybe I'm just a weirdo lol.
My mama told me that my dad was like that when they were growing up. She even made mention that well past into his adulthood he was still like that. So I guess it's true what she said, I am my Father's Daughter ^_^. We liked to be weirdos lol.
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Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Just in time for the Biggest Sale of the year. Zulily is sponsoring a Holiday Deal on Rockabye Toy Rockers!!
Rockabye is on Zulily starting at 6AM PST 11/20 through 11/23 you can get up to 50% off.
If you're interested in getting a cute little rocker for your little this Holiday season, please by all means click here.
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Monday, November 19, 2012
So I had noticed the past couple months at the store that the Mike was always crossed out and I originally thought they went out of business or split and needed a new name. I paid it no mind. But when I saw more and more boxes like this this, I wondered then if some punk rebellious teen/kid did that or someone that worked at the store did so. It's quite mind boggling!
Well I saw that post yesterday and decided to google and I finally came across an answer but it wasn't what I was looking for really. It said in April 2012 they decided to change their target audience and do this sort of "split up" to get the youngsters attention.
Well I went to the store last night and low and behold in the candy section was Mike and Ike's. I recall reading that someone commented that Ike's name was crossed out and I didn't see that. However at the store I SAW BOTH!! What's the odds of that?? So I brought them because I told my mom about it. She of course snapped out because she thought somebody's uncouth child messed the box up and to go get another one. I told her it was produced like that lol. Madea wasn't feeling it XD.
Well the boxes gave a better interpretation about this crazy fictional feud. I decided to take a picture and post it for everybody because I found it humorous after I got the joke lol.
Here take a look:
It's even better that each character signed it to make the message a bit more personal lol. I haven't scanned the QR code or gone to Facebook to see what was up but I still find it cute and quite intriguing now.
How many of you wondered about the scratched out Mike and Ike candy boxes too?? Lol.
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This is going to be a two-fer!
Well start off with the best part first.
Anyway since I decided to start off November with a flamboyant bang of colorful crackle nails. I thought I spend the rest of the month being more adhesive to the traditionalism and bit more sophisticated. I had an idea but then the I dead turned epically great!
So when Sally Hansen came out with the Holiday 2012 collection had I had to jump on it! I loved the colors all except for one. Just didn't excite my fancy is all. And I originally thought I would wear the one I wanted known as Simply D-Vine the rest of the 15days. Unfortunately I couldn't imagine wearing that or looking at it for such a time.
Then I noticed that it had the same base color as Raise A Glass and I knew then I wanted to do.
So here is my design. I hope you guys and dolls like it :D
Aren't the hearts darling?? Lol. It took me awhile to find a suitable frame for it.
All I did was put down Raise A Glass first and then use a tip guide sticker and cut a half moon of Simply D-Vine and place it on top and put down two coats of Seche Vite.
Now if you keep up with me I used Raise A Glass back in September for the Clueless About Aumtun design. This is quite simple and if you don't have a sticker guid ladies, any edge you like, even if you cut it out and trace it on and wow us—if you like it make it happen!!
Now the reason I did it this way because, I love Raise A Glass and always will. I liked Simply D-Vine as well. However I felt either couldn't work for me this time alone. I felt like they needed each other and it made me comfortable so to speak. When I was considering the process of what I do things like that. I couldn't help but chuckle and say that's the Naïveté in me. Then it struck me. I'll call it LéSans Naïveté too! At first I doubted it but it just worked for it. It made sense.
The reason I did the design how it is. I feel there's a fine line between me still growing yet still being naïve about a few things, if not all things in life. The Raise A Glass represents my growth so far, about half way. Yet the Naïveté that is me and apart of me who is in fact LéSans, the Simply D-Vine still inches its way back up, growing every which way it can and consumes me every now and then. However I will always have the tips of my fingers dripping with LéSans' naïveté of things.
Now on to part two!
Naïveté means the lack of experience, wisdom or good judgement. When I first read that a few months ago I realized that when I was LéSans I full of naïveté. I lacked experience, lacked the wisdom and lacked good judgement on just about everything. When I finally was able to grow out of that. I was happy. I felt alive and free. I felt I could do anything.
Every now and then I would have a naïve moment and brush it off because I was now Bunny, new and improved and so much more than before. Or so I thought. Then over the recent year, I had to learn a lot about myself. I lacked experience, wisdom and judgement in areas I had a crash course in. Then I wondered for a short moment am I reverting back to being LéSans? I didn't want to. I didn't like being vulnerable all the time or going unnoticed or perceived as a fool. It wasn't healthy and made me miss out on a lot of opportunities in life. I regret that. I regret being that naïve when I should've been more forthright with everything I did.
While I pondered this thought and disliked where it was going. I felt as if that I had never really become Bunny in the first place, I was more of a façade than anything. Then reality brought me back and my bitterness and bluntness came ringing through. Then I understood fully what I was thinking, considering and pondering. It was all coming back to me now and made sense.
I didn't become Bunny on my own my environment around me shifted so much without me I wasn't about to be taken advantage of and constantly have my feelings her. I didn't want that. I didn't like that outcome for me. So I made a change and thus Bunny was born but I just didn't know it. As Bunny evolved into what I am now. I can help but still have a remainder of Naïveté in me. Just like the tips of my hands are soaked in the naïveté, I will always be LéSans whether I like it or not. That's how I was born. That's how I came about. However nothing said I couldn't be something BETTER than LéSans. I did exactly that I became Bunny and I enjoy each moment of it.
Even though I may be Bunny my fingers just like many other parts of my body will always be LéSans. I can't fully get rid of her and doing so that means there wouldn't be a Bunny. The way I see it Bunny is like LéSans' protector. When this get rough Bunny saves the days and makes things worth my while. I'm happy to have someone watching over the weakest part of me, LéSans Naïveté. I've still got a lot to learn and even knowing I lack a few things. One day those things will become a learned lesson that'll stay with me forever.
I'll always be Bunny, but there is a part of me that will forever be LéSans. All that I've gain so far in life, has all been apart of Bunny's Naïveté of LéSans' awkward lifestyle :). Bunny is the Tsun and LéSans is the Dere. Almost like a Yin and Yang. Without each other I wouldn't be whole and I definitely wouldn't be Tsundere, I suppose lol.
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