Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Night(mare) Before Dieting

Now most people prep themselves in such a matter when starting a new diet. Not I, says the Rabbit. Why?? Because that's a whole lot of wasted energy and good brain cells (what's left of them). So therefore what I've been doing for the past 2-3 weeks have been pigging out on my favorites and foods considered to be a Big No No in the diet world of exceptional health.

Why?? Because I wanted to be able to have what I wanted and then not have to beat myself up about it later on about not having what I wanted. Or slip up and eat the very thing that could not only Jeopardize my progress but have me fail miserably when that's not what I planned on doing. So I feel if I pigged out and got what I wanted I won't have to be a creeper about wanting it later.

So what exactly am I doing the night before my diet?? Eating pizza themed items, chicken wings and potato soup with as much caffeine a girl can get!! Why?? Because its like a celebration to me for me. I'm embarking on not only a better Me, but a healthier and maybe even happier lifestyle where food and health are concerned. The main reason why I finally decide to do so was because I was tired of seeing tons and tons of cute clothes that never fit me and didn't even have a good fat people knock-off. I was disgusted. If I want the rainbow jeans I have to pay damn near $100 if not more and then they don't last long anyway. So wasted money one terrible quality clothing [Read: Diet-ing??].

Now the way I've decided to go about this isn't the most healthiest nor would I recommend it to anybody. But we all have way of losing weight. If you don't know you have to find out what those are. For me when I mentioned this in the No Matter What They Say post, the best way I lost weight was by fasting or basically starving myself. I did so as a teenager. I was hurt to called Peachy Fat by my dad lol so I went into anorexic mind set and refused to eat. I slowly loss weight and was happy. Then while taking time between extracurricular activities, not only did I lose more weight but my body felt better and stronger and I was happy. Unfortunately I turned into a bulimic for a short time period. Because I wasn't eating anything that I ate would make me sick and I would have to throw up. Well it made since. I stopped eating for about 4 years or so. Because I was so sick, and was being bullied and picked on. I turned to ice cream and gained the weight back in no time. So think about it....started at a size 22 dropped down to an 18 then limboed between 11 & 12 before finally get down to an 8. Only to jeopardize it and blow back up to an 18 quicker than it really took me to lose the weight.

This time I'm a lot older, a little bit more confident and I have better mind set. I may love to eat but I definitely don't want to be a size 83 all my life lol. So I need to take control and fix that. I do it the best way I know how. All the health foods and diets are lovely but very expensive and we've gotta work with what we got ok!! But this time I decided to focus more on my problem areas like the tummy, hips, thighs and arms (a bucket of chicken if you will lol). So I've decided I'll fast for the whole month of October and see where that leaves me. Then work hard between November and December. I'm hoping to be between a size 6 or 8 by Christmas. If I make it, then work on being and STAYING that size—the healthy way of course. If not then that means I need to work that much harder and keep up the good work. I'm not about to let anybody sway me or tell me different. This is for a better an happier me. Plus I still have one more thing to prove in the near distant future lol.

So as far as tonight goes. I'm going to go home and be ugly and stuff my piggy face and go to bed happy. So I can wake in the morning with the right frame of mind ^_^.

Wish me luck!! I'll also be giving day to day updates when I can too lol.

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