Thursday, May 3, 2012

25DOB | Day 9



o we all know what it means?? 

If not here's the definition:

Ornithophobia is a type of specific phobia, an abnormal, irrational fear of birds. 

Now that we're all up to date. It was a while ago very uncommon but it seems now that it's become rather common over the years.
I've been an ornithophobic since I was 12. Before 12 I was ok with birds, would even feed them and do whatever. I love them like all kids love things when your a kid. Unfortunately I had a traumatic experience at 12 and it messed me up for life. 

Ok so around August of 1999 Yeaaa way back =D lol. When I was just a cute 7th grader in Catholic school (who used to hike her skirt up and receive a demerit damn near ever day). Anyway, my grandma was sick and nearing her passing and she had to be put into this rehabilitation hospice. She had the gout in her knee and since she was already old it was extremely difficult for her, you know?? 

So this one sunny day me and my mom go to visit her there at the hospice like we had been doing since she was admitted there toward the end of summer. Yea so well there we are and my mom was saying something to me about something. She mentioned for me to roll up the window. And I'm like MA OK *sighs, sucks teeth, etc!*. After I get done rolling up the window she mentions she told me to do so because it was suppose to rain at some point. When all of sudden I heard this loud crashing thud. Scared the messed outta me. When I looked over, it was a sparrow/wren bird. He had run into the "rolled up" window and is flapping his wings like crazy and squawking like a fire engine siren. So I'm sitting there not knowing what to do and my mom says get out of the car. I'm pretty sure I was paralyzed or mesmerized or something. Because I couldn't move. Felt like a black comedy horror movie. So my mom, being Madea jumps out and slams her door. Runs around the car to my side and decides to attempt to "shoo" the bird away. Yea it didn't work. Instead the bird flew in the car with me and began scratching the shit outta me and pecking my face like crazy. And I lost all good sanity I had left and panicked and smack the bird. I jump outta the car feeling like I was in a horrible gone wrong Indiana Jones Low Budget remake and slammed the car door behind me.

o there I was on the parking lot ground crying my little heart out.

nd my mom turns and says to me: 

WHAT THE FUCK!? Why would you shut the bird in the car?? How are we gonna get home???  
She was very pissed and made mention the bird was gonna shit all over her car.
o I told her, "I dunno how you getting home but I'm going home with daddy in daddy's car!!!"

'm pretty sure those poor old people thought I was some basket case from Mars or something. Especially since I'm in the middle of a parking lot crying and wailing. So this guy comes from somewhere and got the bird outta the car for my mom. While I spent the rest of the day and night crying. Soo. I'm afraid of birds, I dislike them. I dont mind them from afar and I might even feed them if they don't get too rambunctious and start a food fight. But if one gets too close I'm having an anxiety attack and I'll be crying like a baby. 

ow for those of you who friended me on Facebook and Follows me and stuff. You probably saw a post about me being mad at the neighbor's kid and having a traumatic issue.

es it did involve a bird.

o Sunday morning I leave to go get breakfast. And before I left I got Saturday's mail and I put it in the car on the passenger side before I left. Now after my short field trip away from home. I had to come home a different route because they're doing a lot of work on our streets. I get to the corner (house is the second one from the corner) and I see someone in our driveway and I'm like the hell?? So when I pull up its the lady across the street little niece who lives up the street. And she stares at me all stupid like. Smiles this megawatt smile. Waves and runs up the street. 

'm like the fuck is that about??

And what's up with the weapons in her hand?? It's 10 in the morning what you need with a stick and string and McGyver shit for???

o I go to parallel park the big ol van like a boss and I notice something by the curb. I'm like well I'm not gonna get close, not sure what it is. Then when I got a GOOD LOOKIt was a bird. A Mourning Dove, Pigeon, somethingI dunno. But I didn't want to run it over and see bird guts. So then I went into an anxiety attack. I park the car and get out and look like I guess I could shovel it up(??) until I got close. That bird looked at me and started snapping out. Worse part, I had to pee. So here's this bird that's scared of me and snapping the fuck out and now I'm pissed coz that little hood rat ass little girl was torturing the fucking thing and I'm ready to cry and my moms in the house So because my life was so fucked up I actually had to leave home and drive around the neighborhood so I could re-park the car I ended up blocking the driveway. Then I got pissed because the Auntie that lives across the street got her busted ass old vehicle parked ifront of our house so I couldn't unblock the driveway even if I wanted to. So not only was my phobia taking over, I was pissed. I got out and ended up having this stare off with the bird for a good 5 minutes. 

did throw it a piece of my hash town so it wouldn't be hungry.


hen I finally made it into the house (and used the potty thank goodness) I had to take some Tylenol and have a nap. My life was all fucked up and I hate that little girl.


o now you know one of my weaknesses.

am deathly afraid of birds and will lose my damn mind over it.

ow you can laugh this once!!

ut if I'm in danger and ned help dammit somebody better come save me!! 

-O-S Bunny needs helps lol


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