Thursday, April 19, 2012


Two weeks ago...

Hmm, where to start. I guess the date would be best.


Thursday, April 5, 2012.

I have a cousin. Not by a blood relation, but irregardless she was family. She had MS—Multiple Sclerosis. Had it for as long as I could remember. And she always did so well and tried her best. Worked hard, went to college got her Bachelors and Masters. She had a wonderful son, who's a great kid!! Even through it all she still kept a beautiful smile on her face. And that's what I loved the most. I guess you could say that's what always made me happy, was to go and see her and make her smile and giggle ^_^.

Unfortunately, she had been really sick the past couple years. So had her mother. And within this past month she had a lot of complications. However she left this world to go to the next. And dammit if she didn't fight a good battle!

Makes me kinda tearful and sad. And a little empty. Even makes me reminisce about my dad. And how such good care of us when he died.

It's funny how life works and how things goes. You kno?? When the strangest thing happens, like death or a love one getting sick. Your whole world stops and everything becomes so distant. No words or hugs can bring any comfort of whatsoever. Nothing feels right and never will be the same and it hurts. Hurts really bad.

When it comes to death some of us can show sorrow and say how sorry we truly are. While when it makes a deep impact or cuts deep, you're at a loss for words and you don't know what to say or what to do next. Quite depressing.

Only thing I can and will say now is that. I guess I'm sad and so teary eyed about it because I didn't get a chance to see her or talk to her or spend some time with her. Or make her laugh. I'm not saying I feel guilty but just unhappy.

Hugs, Love & Prayer can only go but so far. And when it's death of a love one only time can be there and help us the best it can. Eventually the emptiness will heal and you can move on. But that lingering feeling of that favorite missing puzzle piece will always be a reminder of all the good and bad times. One day maybe, just maybe, things might get back on a path and continue life. I'm not saying it'll be easy, or things will go back to being the same nor should you dwell on it and make your life unhappy. Because they wouldn't want you to be unhappy.

So that's my speech on being speechless.

I love you and I'll miss you Cousin Fee and these diamonds I shed just for you ;')

Love Forever Always,


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