Monday, April 2, 2012

New Transportation Rulez

So those of you that know about transportation and the wretched hell it can put you through will need to know this information.

"10 & 2"

If you're a driver: Vetern or Rookie or still Learning. Youre told to keep your gands at 10 & 2. And for those of you who will be learning soon, the steering wheel is treated like a "clock" if you will. And your left hand goes on 10 o'clock, while your right hand goes on 2 o'clock. However studies show that if you were end up in an accident, head on or otherwise, you're more likely to..... Well you're more likely to Bitch Slap yourself in the face if the airbag were to deploy during the collision. So to prevent such a {"NON-FUNNY"} thing from happening, it is now recommended that you put your hands at 9 o'clock and 3 o'clock instead. This is how the race car drivers drive in the races and it'll prevent you from Pimp Slapping yourself in the face if you were to end up in an accident.

So Ladies & Gentlemen next time you go for a drive, remember to start your engines, get your sexy NASCAR gear on and let her rip—at 9 & 3!!!

Sadly I didn't need to be informed of this, that's how I drive anyway XD LOL!

"The Bicyclist"

In the state of Pennsylvania, I'm not sure if it hold true in the other states and places, but I would suggest you check today and as soon as possible. A new law passed today stating that Bicyclist are now allowed on the road with cars as long as theyre within the bicycle lane or the white line. You must as a driver give them 4 feet of cushion: front, back, and sides. If you must cross the white line at any time, do so with caution and attentiveness.

So bicyclist and drivers, please be safe and drive and bike accordingly, even if there are maniacs and retarts roaming about. So becareful ok!! And watch out for each other!

"Traffic, Rush Hour & Detours"

This has nothing to do with laws and requirements. This is strictly my opinion.

People, if you know you start work at 9am. Get the hell up at 6am and get prepared to get there on time ok??

If you ain't got shit to do, WHY ARE YOU OUT??? I know it sucks to be inside all the damn time but HELL must you cause more accidents??

Old people, you get up everyday at 4am, please PLEASE (excuse my French) take yawls' old asses to the walmart or whatever store's open at that time. You cause nothing BUT PROBLEMS!! I hate to say it, but I'm being honest. You're more in the way than helping traffic move along accordingly.

If you see a detour. CHILL THE FUCK OUT. You do not belong to a colony of ants. The world will not end if you can't go the way you like the most or you've been turns around ok?? It's not that serious. Just move it the fuck along and proceed with your day like the rest of us. Plus no jipping ok, it makes some of us angry.

The rest of you. WHEREVER IT IS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO. The store, office, pet store, strip club is not going NOWHERE. It's gonna be there when you get there he'll. This ain' The Sims 3, no the Lord will not bulldoze the property or community lot before you make it there. So—CALM YOUR OVERLY HYPERED ASS DOWN AND DRIVE LIKE YOU GOT A LITTLE OUNCE OR TWO OF SENSE!! Damn, this is a no jip zone and you will not tail my ass. My bumper is not a genie and you will not poof into that location even if you lick at it the whole time you McFucktard *rolls eyes* geez.


So if you've got an iPhone, an you're learning to drive or plan on moving from state to state, etc. might I suggest you download the Drivers Ed app. Trust me it's worth the $3 and you can always keep it handy when you need to look at it. Trust me not only did I lose the training book or it got wet or a freak disaster took place. The DMV never had any, so not only was mine outdated and useless it was missing a lot of rules and requirements. So not only do you have it handy always, it's updated. It gives mock exams, shows pictures and gives all of the 50 states handbooks. So check that out alright!! You too android lovers!!

Second Bonus....

Are you a great Rookie but suck at that Parallel Parking ish?? Cheat. And no I don't mean by using the self-parallel-parking cars. That's not allowed lol. Just reposition your side mirror and that will help a LOT!! Plus, you can always fix it back and it's not against the rules—YET. That's how I passed, but also I used my assets and wore a miniskirt and Lacey tube top >;D HOTT DAMN!!

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