Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wisdom Teeth


Whew geez

I don't know where to begin.

One I hate WISDOM TEETH!!! I hate teeth period. Like if they're so important or we need them, why do they give us so much pain???

Yea so like all creatures I've got wisdom teeth. And in the words of my mother:


Lol, My mama's like Madea.....well she is Madea and that's what I call her XD.

But yea I've been having problems with them for the longest time. But they didn't jump out there and start acting like fools until maybe I was 21 or so. My one tooth gave me hell from 2009, 2010ish and just stopped maybe at the end of 2011.

Now from what I recall they came in and I remember the dentist bitching because they weren't clean enough. How the hell you expect me to clean something at the back of my jaw?? Can't open your mouth too wide or close it too much coz the toothbrush won't fit. WTH!?

So then I'm like shouldn't they be getting removed?? And the dumb ho's like NO NO you're fine *super smile* besides you'll gain WISDOM!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT??? :D

Yea who said gaining wisdom was a piece of pie?? No, Not I said the Bunny ^_^

So I said fine whatever and brushed like I usually did. I rarely floss, mostly out of laziness lol. But everything was fine and they were below and/or beneath the gum line so it wasn't a problem. No problems, and if I got a pain or something I grabbed the orajel and called it a day.

Then one day them suckers jumped out like a stripper in a oversized birthday cake for a bachelor before his wedding day. Not only was I shocked as hell but damn this kinda hurts, much… so I made mention to my dad because he was smart and intelligent and he said not to worry. Alright fine if you say so gov'ner.

Then all hell broke loose when I was around 21.....yea 21. My right jaw got inflamed and swelled BAD. And I was going to school I remember and the tooth was seriously fucking with me. Thus starting a domino effect of pain and heartache. I remember the summer before last it hurt so much I just laid down and cried till it stopped.

So I decided one day


That's how we talk in our house lol it's quite entertaining actually especially for the nosey ass neighbors haha!!


I go walking and searching for dentists and orthodontist to take these abominations outta my poor mouth. Most of the private practices and entrepreneur self-own joints told me "no insurance, no cure." Or the whole
I got an appointment available Janfebjuly 34th, 3133 @ 8 o'clock Eastern NASA Time

I called up Aspen Dental and made an appointment and I decided to go. It was a nice September day in Pittsburgh, bus service had just been changed, cut and tied-the-hell-up and I was walking in an unknown location. So I fill out the form and await my turn. The lady calls my name and I head up there and follow her to the secret location in the back.

They put me in this X-ray room and ask me to remove my jewelry. So I removed my necklace thinking its possibly in the way and the nurse or dental tech is like ALL OF YOUR JEWELRY.

O_o um what does the earrings in my ears have to do with my mouth?? So that's all she kept saying and when I took out my earrings and nose ring. She says I needed to remove the bracelets and watch and silly bands I had on too—the hell is going on???

She then gets all Joker happy and says she'll "hold my jewelry for me."


This bitch CRAZY!! Tryna steal my shit on the lo-lo like manolos!!

So I say to her:

Should I take my tongue ring out too or leave that one in??


Hey-Soos Christ

Why me, Lord??

So I shove my jewelry in some compartment of my suitcase sized purse and hold on tight to my purse like its my teddy bear.

While she attempts to convince me to "watch my purse" for me and how it will be kept safe and how it'll be so much better if I PUT IT DOWN and—

We get the X-rays and they move me to another room. And I'm like I just want to know how much would cost to get the wisdoms teeth removed. So you know the whole let's clean, floss and sparkle routine and let's ask you hard questions and give you the answer and so on and so forth. So then after an hour or so them making plans I'm like whoa whoa I just wanna know a price like how much dinero I need to get these toothses REMOVED.

By then they're pissed and send me off with Malibu Ken and he says it's going to cost $2000 just for the one removal, anesthesia & extra fees included. But if I wanted them all removed I could do that or individually removed it would $500+ each tooth.

The whole time I'm like:


He's Like:

OH I am. Cash-Check-Money Order?

Then I'm Like:


I'm sorry....

And he's still like:

So then I say:

WELP BOB this has been great—

My name's Ken

—I really don't give a damn THANX BYESIES!! HAD A BLAST NO THANX THO

I've got pamphlets!

Thank you. Thank you very much

That Motherfucka was Crazy

And yea so you now know why I haven't seen no one else. I rather deal with the pain than the price.

However I ain't even gonna lie, this pain is getting pretty annoying now, so what I got to wait for the tooth to get its life together in 3 years??? Um I'm pretty sure we had time to do this.

Anyway, so in the midst of all the filling of the wisdom cavities and trying new things nothing seemed to work. Until my mom told me of this cotton ball technique. I dinnow it's something by the red cross and you dip these pellet like cotton balls in some stuff....well yea it's suppose to stop the pain.

So is clove oil. Clove oil is suppose to kill the root and nerve endings in the tooth and make life more livable.

Don't, do it. I got the clove oil also known as Eugenol—tried it, not only was it the nastiest shit I've ever had in my mouth but it's so sickening it makes you want to throw up your kidneys and liver and there's drool everywhere—OMG it's so gross and nasty BUT IT WORKED SWELL!!!

That was until yesterday afternoon.

I'm knocked out. Sleeping good. Sexy Fetal Position. Dreaming a Sweet Nightmare and the next I know I feel like someone punch the shit outta me in my jaw!!! I jolt the hell up in some serious pain. So I close my curtain a bit and roll over to my left side. Not working. Got some Tylenol and laid back down. Still no worky. So then I made a wild dash to the bathroom to preform my dental school shit. Nothing. Took from 4pm to about 9pm for the shit to stop banging dubstep in my left jaw.

But there's an upside. 1 down. Working on 2 more and then 1 more to go. If that's not awesome I dunno what is. However I still want them removed. They're like juvenile delinquents on a mission to kill and over throw the Law.

But they goin have to respect my AUTHORI-TY

$5000 for the full procedure and then another several hundred dollars for insurance


Deal with the Pain like a BAD ASS???

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