Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Came To A Conclusion

So. A conclusion. We have them from time to time. It's something like a epiphany but you're more aware of it—somewhat. And it's nothing out of the normal but I doubt we should get a series of conclusions at the same time. I mean for the past 3 days I had conclusions just Hi-fivin my face and I'm still a little fucked up. And my comp is still fucked up and not working. I've been trying to work on it and been having a hard ass time. So the "Big Shit Poppin" post is still being WRITTEN but the post of it TBA.

So first conclusion. My mom ordered Disneys The Princess & The Frog for me because it's out on DVD on March 16th. Now what I can't understand is that it made double it's production budget and it's the best movie since the Lion King & Aladdin and it's such a heart warming great family movie. Well if that's the case why did it only last for 3 months in teathers?? The average movie lasts for a good 5 months; 8-10 months if it did extremely well. But why didn't it last?? Was it because she was black?? Was the story misconstrued and so chopped & screwed it mad no sense or wasn't worth it?? Well that's for another post you all will get my feelins on it later lol.

Conclusion #2. Still about Princess Tiana. I wrote a note about a year ago about why there is not black princess to fit the description. Not all black people are dark chocolate brown skin. I for one am not I'm the color of mocha maybe caramel. But given the fact my dad was white and my mom was black. So color wasn't big for me but I Pocahontas & Jasmine to me were the only ones I could relate to. But then she came along. Princess Kida aka Kidagakash Nedakh. She was the princess in the movie Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Now she was born royalty and that made know a the beginning of the movie if your an adult. You realize it when she says, "my father the king" about halfway through the movie. Now I googles her and found NOTHING!! I mean I could barely find pictures let alone information and it made no sense to me that Disney would demote her or forget her eventhough she was a princess. But then it HI-FIVED my FACE!!! as far as Disney and society was concerned she was black. She was mocha skinned with pink full lips big bright oddly colored eyes. Big gold earrings and other jewelry with this white hair with a bluish tint. She was different. Still a princess and lady but had a tomboy appeal to herself. I loved her. She was one I could relate to. But why did Disney disown her?? So what she didn't sing or had on a ball gown. Last time I remember Jasmine showed her stomach & Ariel was half naked in her movie so I can see an argument there. Now if it was her skin color that would just be wrong because Pocahontas, Jasmine & Mulan were white or caucasian. So what's the problem what's te issue?? I don't understand it. She was beautiful and apparently good enough becase she got a sequal right?? No. She was black and so is the claimed "new" black princess. I don't perticularly care for her. I don't like that she's sterotypically dark skinned with big lips nappy hair and live in New Orleans. Smh but irregardless I think Kida was the FIRST black princess one f te reason why her movie didn't do well and probably why she was forgotten. But that's not the kicker there are PLENTLY of princesses Disneys thrown to the way side one in particularly Princess Eilonwy from Disneys The Black Cauldron. Now why wasn't she important did her movie flop to or was it because she had a definite black girl's name?? Lol I mean it's really fucked up the way Disney controls lil girls' minds and make them believe in something because there is NO OTHER but as far as I'm concerned Princess Kida is something I can relate to (& she wears my favorite color blue so even move awesomeness) even though society disagree. If and when I have lil girl(s) I hope that they can relate to Kida, Poca, Jas or maybe even Tiana. Either way I want them to know that they're pretty and Disney can't have princesses without them ^_^. But that's me so therefore

Princess Kida aka Kidagakash Nedakh FUCKIN ROCKS!!

Now conclusion #3... so I haven't seem the mailman in like 3 weeks saw him yesterday for te first time. And what was strange and this may sound creeperish but I smelle him before I saw him. & damn if he still didn't smell DAMN GOOD!!! But then when I actually laid my eyes on him. He looked different to me though. I don't know why, but he did. But the odd part was like this uncomfortable awkward as hell momen that passed between us. Then I had to question....was he mad at me??was he punishing me?? Or was the chemistry gone?? Now I like him don't get it wrong but yea I've been doubting myself because I don't wanna be hurt, but then I guess the fact that I'm selfish nothing personal just a genetic thing I'm an only child so it's to be expected. And quite honestly I don't wanna share him with his baby mama (if there is one) & his kids. I want him all to myself with our kids. Sounds silly no doub but I'm not the only woman that feels that way. And of course on the other hand i don't want no body else to have him. Damn shame what infatuation can do when it comes to the opposite sex (or both sexes for me). But then I actually had to requestion him if he was the one. The question never popped up and when it was brought to my attention I didn't have an answer. But when I ask myself that again, I was shocked at myself that my answer were not pliable. Just because someone has kids doesn't neccessarily mean they're horrible people (not unless they're my friends coz their kids are pretty FUCKED UP but that's another post lol) but still I'm not sure. I love kids but it takes a special person to go into an already made family. And of course the other part the kids have got to be right because bad ass kids ain't my thing and I ain't fin to hear "YOU AINT MY MAMA!!" and I'll be damn. So now I'm confused and saying that maybe I need not dwell on IT or HIM because I don't know him that well and plus if I feel I need to change somebody or wish they were someone else then quite honestly I need not be with them or even think about fantasizing about it lol. But oh well, guess I'm not meant to be loved or meant to love anybody else. So I'll take into consideration Conclusion #4 ^_^

Conclusion #4 lol my homegirl Mz. Dom told me to read the book Sisters of the APF by Zane. And I bought it and started it about a year ago and never finished it. So finally Kindle got an app for the iPhone and it was FREE *whoot* lol. So I got it or kindle and read it Saturday. OMG never in my life did I read such a SEXY SMULTERING EROTIC ASS BOOK IN MY LIFE!!! OMG had me wanting to....well nevermind but I was happy I read it. It opened up my mind to a few things. I won't give it all away but we woman give men to much liberty when it comes to sex. Men claim they're pleasing their woman by in actuality we sit there missonary while he thinks he doin sumtin busts a nut & he's sleep. Within the 30 minutes we didn't even get a clit flick to at least turn us off. Fucked up right!? But the book explained a great deal, though. Women if you want to be pleased you've got to tell the man what you want, what you like, how you WANT IT TO FEEL. If you want the right good sex you gotta train your man. I say play around with a little rough sex or the kinky BDSM dominatrix type shit. But I'm kinky like that. But open up ur mind don't let nothing control you or tell you other and deal in some great sex. But great read and you def need to buy it. I'm not recomending it, Baby I'm telling you BUY IT. So then I bought a few more of her books. An then I read Head Bangers: an APF sexcapade. And that was just delicious!! I mean it blew my mind. So I can't wait for another APF book from Zane. So currently I'm reading Purple Panties....lesbian erotica ;D. And it made me think back to the APF head bangers, where they talked about threesomes AKA Ménage à trois. People get threesomes/Ménage à trois confused, the purpose of them is to explore and to get pleasure from te people involved. What's messed up is thy when it's 1 guy 2 girls the man expect the women to lick, suck and fuck. But when it's 1 chick & 2 guys they wanna pull this gang bang shit on her. That's not the point, the individuals involved are suppose to please each other. But the men wanna fly off the damn handle thinking that it's gay or apart of homosexuality. When it's not just because you have a sexual experience with the same sex doesn't mean you're a homosexual. People know from the get go if they're gay or not trust me. I did.

I've always had this thing. I liked playing with the little boys and liked looking at the little girls. But I was always lesbian-curious, because then I knew nothing about bisexuality. As I got older I would check out girls but shyly turn away. Sometimes I would get caught looking and get disapproving looks. But I couldn't help it I was curious what it wa like to be with a girl. Then around my 22nd birthday I got tired of looking at girls and feeling guilty and wrong because it wasn't approved be society for a young woman to looking at other girls and women. So I decided to be bisexual. I didn't do it because I had horrible SEX with a man. It was because I got tired of being sought as just the trophy wifey, the neccessary accessory, the lil housewife. I want going to be an applicant for new baby mama or a notch under his belt. FUCK THAT!!! I'm more that than and if men or any man can understand that I have feelings that I need to be loved as a person then I don't need him. So I love my sexuality. And Zane made me think men go and fuck whoever they want and it's alright. But when women do it we're automatically labeled as a WHORE, PROSTITUTE or a SLUT. But that's not the case, we deserve to be pleased just like them. So hell I plan on doin that fucking ever girl and guy that I can!! Safely & responsibly of course ^_^.

Conclusion #5. My book. You guys know thy I'm working on a book with my poetry. So since of the issue, & the comp's fried, not much I can do write. So had me thinking....I do need a new comp no doubt about that!! Bu my mother brought a great idea to my mind about the most important stuff to me like my poetry short stories and pictures and print them out and save them. So when I get the comp working right I plan on doin that. But in the mean time if I got a pen or pencil and paper. I'm fin to write SHIT DOWN!! =D lol. So I've started a new story called Secrets. It was going to be a mystery type thing going on but I mite saw that for another rainy day. This story has >PROMISE< I can tell and I can feel it. It's basically about how secrets control our lives. Sometimes we know about and others we don't. But it can make and break us. Coz hate and discontent. Make us happy and put us in power. Secrets are something DEEP! Bottom line. Period. So I started it and it constantly weighs on my brain and flashed back and forth and I think I have a few good chapters. But I decided to add a few things for the main narrative character as things in her life causes her to keep secrets from her sisters and brother her father he friends and some of the most amazing people that she loves. In itself it is sorta a mystery of how to get someone from keeping secrets but I seriously doubt that's possible. Because I'm pretty sure you yourself have a few secrets you're not even aware of >;).

6th of Conclusion. Well this took me a good two days to write it. This fuckin blogpress either kept deleting shit or crashing on me. It's like technology has a HIT on me like WTF!!! Ugh but whatever lol.

Well party peeps!!!

I'm fin to be OUT until the first of march to do the end of February beginning of March forecast lol haha so look for that. As well as the Princess post and eventually the BIG SHIT POPPIN POST so maybe that'll get POSTED by the 28th if not then in March right?? =D lol

As always,

3 kizz, 2 hugz, 1 lღv


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