Friday, September 25, 2015

7th Avenue Blues

Hi kids!!

I know it's been like FOREVER since you last heard from me. But of course you know I've had tons of shit happen. My life stays more eventful than I'd like and it takes me a minute to keep up lol. 

Hmm. But now to figure out where to begin?? 

Well several months ago I was having issues with my job. Remember the cashiering job I had?? Yeah. I ended up getting garnished for student loans which suck ass. Regardless of what I did they felt justified to take $200 out of my pay per month. What sucked to be working full time 40 hours a week, hard labor and I'm left with less than a part time pay. Yeah it wasn't cool at all. What made it even worst my bills increased. I lost my food stamps and I was struggling hard and bad!! There was so much stress I had to do part time. I still got garnished but not as much and I ended up picking up odd jobs to make ends kinda sorta meet. 

So in June I made some adjustments to m schedule prior in May so I could be off so that I could work my second job as a server. My boss never honored my request and that's when I knew I had it. I up and quit my job. Not the best decision. And I would've like to have had another job secured before I left but that wasn't happening. They wanted to penalize me for missing work or fuck up my days off to suit everybody else. Like I cuss my boss out. Like she wanted to me like I was her worst worker but I'm like lady please. When one of your favorites don't show up you calling my fucking number. She had the nerve to tell me that I wouldn't find a job better than that one. I'm like fuck out of here!! I'll find a better job. One that'll give me my benefits and won't fuck with my paycheck either. 

So I was out of work for 2-3 weeks before I found my current job. It's further out but the pay is more. Scheduling is flexible and fixed. And I get as much overtime as I want. Hell I get paid to work my lunch and they feed me too! I sit on my ass and eat snacks all day. Lol. Doesn't get any better than that?? Plus I was getting $3 more. They work with me. Even when I need to go to my other two jobs. I'm contented with that. I'm not going to say I absolutely LOVE working for the electric company but it's beats a blank. Plus I've been able to get the bills paid down a lot quicker than I thought. And that makes me happy. So for now I want to keep this job as long as possible so I can go to another customer service job that'll be closer to home or pay me more. Personally I'm hoping for both. 

Hmm what else. Oh yeah. At moment I was in a relationship. Go figure. I think I've mentioned him before. 

I met him LAST October. Right before Halloween. I had just gotten off work and he's driving pass and waves and I waved back. He popped a U-turn in the middle of rush hour traffic to come sit at the bus stop and talk with me. It was probably the most perfect moment I've ever experienced. Then it got perfecter. He was working a good job. Had his own house, car, no kids, no crazy interfering exes. Motherfucker was perfect as hell. For a minute I was excited because I got exactly what I wanted but the messed up part about it was the fact that he was too much of what I wanted. The first few months we had were good but then it went down hill from there. He wouldn't return my calls or texts. He didn't want to spend time with me. Didn't want an actual relationship anymore but then again I wasn't allowed to be single either and that pissed me off. You don't want me but you also don't any anybody else to have me either and that was so fucked up to me. So we broke up for awhile. More like stopped talking to each other. 

Then after this 5month break. He decides to message me I guess due to loneliness. And we got back together and he was talking much shit. And like a dumb ass I believed him and believed things would change and possible become more concrete oppose to being so up in the air. Yeah. Not happening. It was like on and off of bullshit. He would get jealous when guys would approach me or talk to me on Facebook and I'm like why?? You don't wanna go out or give more than 5 minutes of attention. Then the sex got boring and predictable. He was the only one allowed to have an orgasm. I felt abused and misused. I was being taken for granted and I wasn't ok with that. Though he felt otherwise. So after 11 long months of off and on. I finally told him how I felt and broke up with him. Can't you believe that the motherfucker had the nerve to ignore what I said and just basically tell me he's coming over to my house. Wanted to tell me how he moved closer to where I live to be with me. It's like he wasn't that far away any wanted to tell me that he couldn't come and see me because I lived too far away but he couldn't drive to a place that was 14hrs away. I was only 30minutes away from him. He was a lunatic. I don't regret meeting him and I'm happy I did. He created a situation that I vowed would never happen. But I learned something though. While I was making him a better man for the next girl whoever she maybe. He made me a better woman for the next man. Little did I know it or not. But the lesson that hit home the most was the fact that even though he was exactly what I WANTED. He wasn't what I needed. And I thought about that long and hard. Like you're what I want and I was tryin so hard to make it work but he was soo soo SO BAD for me. And holding on to him and the relationship wasn't going to change anything or make anything better. Had to let it go. 

Believe or not I met someone else. Lol. I like him lots. I think I'm so infatuated with him because he didn't treat me like another piece of ass. He wanted to be friends and I was ok with that. He's a complete goofball and I don't feel uncomfortable with him. We can hang out and just enjoy each other's company. I like that a lot. What makes it even more ironic is the fact that he's not perfect. He's not what I want or that who "your type" he is so flawed in so many ways but I like it lol. Plus he's been making me happy in such a way that even my roommate thinks he's my boyfriend and we're not even there yet. And who would've ever thought I'd meet him at work?? Lmao! He even trained me for my job. Probably not the best secenario but hey shit happens right?? And I can't wait to see what happens. Plus I love fooling around with him during lunch hahaha. It's not often so no guys we aren't doing the ultimate porno at work scene. Hell he even told me no when I asked for sex. That makes me mad but appreciative because he's being considerate of me and apparently wants more than that. Even told me so lol. And I'm actually ok with it. 

Oh yeah I have a roommate too. For a minute she was a pain in my ass. But it's like fine. It's half ass working now lol. I'm wondering how long that's actually gonna last. I'm hoping not for long. I be trying to have some adult time with the new Bae lol. 

But other than those juicy tidbits life is pretty good. I love my new friends who are like my paradise! I guess I must say I'm happy to have a somewhat normal period to. Even though it's been cramping my style like crazy for this entire month. But that last pregnancy scare was not something I was ready for. I need to think long hard and on the toilet before considering even making the slightest passing thought about getting pregnant. Maybe. I dunno my new guy got me doing things I wouldn't normally do too. 

We'll see what happens in due time. I'll try to keep you guys and dolls posted. Plus I have plenty of things else to still talk about too!! 

I love you heaps!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Friday, June 19, 2015

Sims 4 Deal


Click here to get the deal guys and dolls ===>> Sims 4 Promo Deal

Thursday, June 11, 2015

I Am NOT Dehydrated

You know. Honestly after this week I've fucking had it with men. They're so fucking retarded anymore it's not even funny. 

I'm tired of men assuming I'm "Thirsty" for attention. Dude no I'm not. I don't have a need for a dude and I'm so far from interested you got me so fucked up you need to go back to school and learn some shit. I don't care what it is! Learn something. 

Between the attitude of these wannabe aggressive men to the tons (and I do mean tons) of dick pics and cumshot pics. To even the attitude when I say I'm not interested. Like dude why would I be? You refer to every female as a thot, a bitch, a whore, she's thirsty, and disrespect her like she has to accept your dick. You have tons of kids by several different women and probably one on the way. You're selfish, rude, inconsiderate and have no manners or etiquette of whatsoever. But then get mad because I don't take you seriously?? Why should I?? You're already marketing yourself off as a top class clown. Why would I take you seriously?? 

I'm just tired of the extra crap. Like my plate is already full with stress with trying pay bills and get a better life for myself and hopefully invest in a better future. It doesn't require I take on a man and his luggage. Look I know we all come with baggage and I'm cool with that. But some of these dudes out here need to be at the airport, they have professionals working in that luggage claim game and are far more better at it than I. 

No I don't want a dude who has kids. I'm competing in a competition for his love and affection when I'm going to be the loser by default. He may not be a daddy to his kids. But I'll always be a second priority up against his kids. Plus I don't wanna compete with an ex or baby's mother. Like no. Keep that Brady Bunch Circus bullshit over there with you. I'm not interested in applying not even watching the show. Then this whole selfishness is crazy! You gotta have sex with him when he wants, gotta go out when he wants, gotta go piss when he wants, gotta go to work when he wants, keeps his money, doesn't want to help pay bills or for dates or even buy you a $1 store trinket. WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR?? You're selfish ass needs to be at home with your momma!! She the only who's gonna tolerate that dumb shit. Unless it's a stupid female. I may be blonde but I'm far from being stupid. Like they're stuck in this child thought process where a woman has to take care of them for the rest of their lives. Yes I understand that's how you grew up. But don't claim the man role if you're not going to be a man. The man is the provider, protector and the head of the family. But when you forsake those things then you're not a man you're fucking little ass kid. A grown one that needs a serious adjustment as soon as possible. 

However there are men who got their heads on straight and want to be that man. But they've married the wrong women, they're gay......or lately what I've encountered they're fucking confused. These are the men who have no kids, no crazy exes, has a decent job, own house (no apartment), own car and is like dreamboat of all sexual fantasies. However he's also the one who'll string you along, never text back, is always busy, or always has some lame excuse, he's just down right weird. Some are even grieving an ex, others are looking for greener pastures (like that'll ever happen) or sitting somewhere sulking and whining about being lonely and single. Like what besides killing myself for your attention should I hop in front of a moving bus while singing zippity-do-dah?? I feel that way with my current boo. After not talking to him (on his own accords) from December. He pops the hell up outta nowhere a week or two before my birthday last month and acts like nothing has happen. Or like those 4ish months were like two days or something. And I haven't seen him since my birthday. Last I talked to him he was angry because I was ranting about being hit on by guys and I don't know if he felt jealous or like e was in competition or what. Before that he was too busy to text me. But was blowing me the hell up when I was busy. You see that?? I shan't bother you whilst you're busy but fuck when I'm busy I better pick up the phone and be available right then and there for sex. Like get the fuck outta here with that bullshit. 

I'm tired of having the same result. You meet a guy, they all ask me the same dumb ass questions. 

•You married?? Gotta Boyfriend?? Or What??

•You got kids??

•Who/where you stay with/at?? 

Then it's like BAM—here's several selfies of my dick. I wanna fuck your raw and lick your toes and all this weird shit. 

Then when I voice I'm not interested. I've apparently wasted his time and how I'll regret it later because I'm losing out on the best opportunity that would ever bless me in my life EVER. Um, no. I think I'll be alright. I'm not looking for anyone. For the record hot pants you approached me. I had no interest from the get go just by looking at the dumb shit you post on your page and the vulgarity that comes out of your mouth. Plus you sporting your kids like they're accessories is a major turn off. Don't let some wild ass thot come outta nowhere and try to intimidate you on some dumb shit because she thinks you want her #MCM. Like bitch no, don't nobody want him but you. Hell he needs a Nobel peace prize for giving you a time of day!! 

This whole presumption of me being desperate for a man or giving off mixed singnals is crazy. Like please! I'm honest. It might be brutal, but I keep it 100. If I say I'm not interested from the get go don't get mad, be appreciative I didn't waste yours or mine time. I had a dude do that to me last year. For whole ass season dude had me thinking we were gonna hook up and be something. Then he dropped the dumbest shit I ever heard in my life. Saying he couldn't be with me because I've had previous sexual partners and that was going to mess up his relationship with his daughter (whom he rarely saw anyway and lived at least 15hours away). Like what?? Here I am falling in love with you, ready to pack my crap and move closer to you and start something. And he drops that shit in my lap, unfriended me and delete my number. Yet I happen upon his Facebook and he wrote this status about he likes this girl and wishes she'd move closer to him and how he doesn't wanna be single and all this shit (the same shit he said to me) well she ended up dissing his ass he tried to play it off. But here I am willing to do that and you tell me I'm not good enough. 

I think that's why I don't want a relationship. When you invest time into someone it's hard to move on to someone else. It's like going back to school to be tormented all over again. Or having to replace your order at a fast food joint because someone else fucked up. So I spend 4 or 6 months basically auditioning to be a girlfriend and I never get the chance because you've already assumed that there's someone else better than me or you believe there IS some else better than me. But you wanna fuck up my world and then kick me to the curb but as soon as I pick up all my pieces and glue myself back together here you come again to fuck it up all over again. It's like why?? You know you have no interest in investing a future with me or see me being more than just one of your part time fuck buddies. Like why, though?? But then if I see through your bullshit earlier on then you're mad at me because I'm not going to stand for it. No I'm not giving you my number, you're not gonna be stalking me or phone sexing me every time you get a chance or sending me pics of your dick. No I'm not telling you where I live so you can dew drop in when you feel like it. No I'm not going to allow you to make an assumption of me and not stand up for myself. And no I don't wanna hear how you think your different from all the other guys in the world yet your on that same fuck boy bullshit. 


I honestly would rather be single for my entire life span than to constantly allow men to come into my life and break me down until I'm useless, nothing and irreparable. No. I'm sorry. I can't allow that to happen. And I won't. I care too much about myself to allow that to happen. 

So in other words. No I'm not "thirsty" and I never will be. And if you're gonna assume anything.....assume I'm a lesbian. Just leave me be. My time is precious to me and I won't be wasting it anymore. 

Thursday, June 4, 2015

$25 ZipCar credit

If you know about ZipCar and been debating on if you want to join or not I've got a $25 credit for you to use. If you're already a member I guess you can try it out and see if it works or not. What've you got to lose?? 

Join Zipcar through this link for $25 in free driving!

Or enter this code: ewcueznl

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Happy Mothers Day!

I just wanted to wish all the ladies out there a happy Mother's Day and I hope you enjoy it to the fullest. I hope the men out there have a happy Mother's Day as well. 

You only get one mom so love her to death. 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Just Before 30


I've found that reaching 30 in these next couple of years (literally) that people just automatically assumes things. Even more so than usual. 

So I thought I throw those misconceptions of single women approaching the BIG 3-0 and how society views us and forces us to adapt to an old tradionalism that is obsolete in living in the 22nd Century (yes I said 22nd century lol).



Don't ask me if I have kids and then rebound that with a "well when are you gonna have kids?" To a "you better hurry up you're not getting any younger!" Followed by a "you never know you might meet prince charming next week and have tons of kids soon" just no, just stop. 

Even though im (going to be) 28, I know I dont want kids. I wont say like all the other women that im not motherly enough or it never struck my fancy. I mean c'mon it was my dream at one time to be a mommy. But just like dreams changes, so do wants and desires. Compared to 18 year old me to I don't want kids. I've made up my mind and I know for sure I don't want kids. Its not based on things like age career or anything like that. I knew long time ago that I didn't want to start a family in my 30s (much less 40s). I didn't want to be like my parents. The were wonderful parents dont get me wrong, however when I came along they were old, boring, less active and strict and demanding. The older the they got the less they became able to do. Hell look at my situation now. I haven't had parents in two years. I still got many years to go without parents. A lot of people don't understand that has an affect to it all. Growing up it would suck because I didn't have a grandpa to bring into school or my grandma was too sick. I couldn't celebrate siblings day because I was an only child. All my cousins were old enough to be my parents. It sucked ass going to school. While everyone else's mom was teenie boppers or in their twenties and grandparents in their 40s. Here's my parents in their 50s on walkers and needing several naps just to function. I knew then I never wanted to go through that with my kids. Yeah living your own life is great and all but you can't be selfish and expect things to fall into place. I rather be old and experience new things, than to experience everything but can't really enjoy the older years to come. 

But since I've been adult and been thrusted into the new millenia dating scene. I can't see myself being the mother to a lousy man's children. And men are lousy. Say what you want. But there is no more dating or courting or getting to know someone. Its all about let me fuck you while you fuck me and we fuck each other until we're tired and move on to the next fucker. After awhile that gets old, plus there's diseases and pregnancy happens too. Things I dont want any part of. And why would I. I already dont like temporary happiness why would I want to be fucked over literally and left all the time?? With that being said I dont want to be a baby's mama. Unlike what people think, not every situation is meant to be good. No matter how positive or how much hope we have--if its not meant to be then its not. I dont want to be in a situation where im doing everything for a baby. I wont have a mom to babysit or a dad to pick snookums up from daycare, I wont have a sister or brother to help me out. I'd be doing it all. Honestly that's way too much and that would frustrate the fuck out of me. Knowing that can't take care of my baby to the fullest and having no support system makes its worst, but being stuck with a man who isn't all that interested in responsibility that would be pure hell. And im not putting myself into that situation. I dont want to be in that situation. Hell it was about to end up like that when I first got pregnant and I was shocked then. Now I would be mad as hell. So no I don't want kids. I wont change my mind. 



On to the next.... Marriage. I'm tired of hearing people telling me I need to get married. How any guy would be happy to be with me. No. Just no, just stop. If that was truly the case I wouldn't be single. I wouldn't have to deal with shitty ass dudes or have my heart ripped out, chewed up, spit out, stepped on and set on fire. But its not so much out of the loneliness crap. Since majority people believe that if you're single you're lonely as hell and desperate and depressed and longing for human contact. No we all aren't. But its this insulting assumption that I can't be a proper human being nor can I be considered a woman unless im married to a man. Being married isn't all its cracked up to be. It doesn't mean he'll take care of me or even provide for me. I still maybe on my own in a lot of things. I also don't want to be married. The thought of divorce disturbs me. I know it happens and can and even will happen. But why get married if you're gon a decide that one point many days, weeks, months or years that you don't want that person. No you knew that all along and was just entertaining yourself but wasting their time. Either way its not good. And since I know with my being bisexual having to pretend to be straight would bother me. I wouldn't want to limit myself to one person not saying I'll cheat, but I may want to have long term relationship with guy and I may even want to have one with a girl too. I just don't want marriage to be an issue. I dont want to be left, especially by someone who's indecisive. I rather be single or shack up maybe. Not everyone is desperate to be married before or after 30. Someone of us have set limits. We all don't want to be that one aunt waiting to get married and never do. Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and accept that we're meant to be cat owners or dogs or fish or whatever lol. I function better as a cat lady. 



Just because a woman is single we're not all trying to be Carrie Bradshaw. We all don't live in New York, we all don't work a fabulous job and don't have more shoes than closet space. We definitely can't afford to travel either. I know working minimum wage I can barely pay for bills let along going out to have a drink or two or going on vacation somewhere. Priorities come into play, if you live alone like I do you know what I mean. For me there's no one to wake me up or do stuff for me. I have to do everything at my home, from paying bills to getting the trash out on time to even fighting off bugs, raccoons and rats. I have to do it all, because no ones gonna do it for me. My family has made that very clear. And most men that I do encounter even make that clear. Just because I own a house doesn't mean I wanted to do so. I rather be in an apartment, honestly. I took over my parents house because I didn't want to be homeless anymore or looking for a place for me and my cat to sleep at night. Was I making the best decision then?? Yeah I think so. Do I still think I made the best decision?? Not really. Its expensive to care for the house. Since its just me and I basically work every damn day, tending to home becomes more of an issue and chore for me. I know I can't do it by myself. But I also know I don't want someone in my home who doesn't know how to appreciate my situation either. So I've got to make it work. Which means busting my ass at my job or getting two jobs and not having time for "fun" because I got priorities. That's what adult life is really like. Its hard and difficult and there isn't always a cheat code. 


For record, we all don't love cooking. We all aren't trying to be the best chefs to impress some man. Some days I'm like fuck cooking, and I have chips, ice cream and soda for dinner. Its just me and since meals for one are tv dinners which are gross, making a meal GC means I have to be stuck with it for a week or two. In most cases majority of my meals are repeats because I want to cook something I know ill eat. Even though that gets old and I run out of foods to get excited about.  Its better than cooking meatloaf (as suggested by the aunties). I hate meatloaf and will never eat that unless i have to. I dont even wanna make it. It's gross to me. I have done different things that makes cooking more enjoyable but bottom line is I can't stand cooking. Its a pain in my ass. 


Next, please dont off your advice on our lives. We all are given our own and go about handling things our own way. If you don't like it,then tough cookie. Its not your say to tell us we need to find a man (or a woman) or how we need to pop out kids or tell us how our finances are the greatest because we dont have kids. We dont need that. We dont need to be re-raised and given messed up advice. Yes it is messed up. You're giving your outlook on the situation while being outside. If you were inside dealing with it you probably would do something completely different. A lot of people told me I shouldn't cut my hours at work. But im also tired of being garnished and working 80hours and only getting $400. And out of the $800 I get a month. I need $100 in transportation. My utilities come out to $450, cable is $150, my cell phone bill was $200, then I still have to purchase food for me and the pets which comes to $300 at least. I've already exceeded what make. But if I wasnt garnished I'd have an extra $200 each month. So even in the event of cutting back, I dont catch a ride home I walk, i cut my cellphone bill and even started shopping at the dollar store for food. But then also there are those random things that come up like taxes, refuge and renewal of my drivers license that you don't plan for that comes up. My taxes all together is about $1400 that's for the year. Unfortunately I didn't pay my school taxes because I was out of work and $700 right on the spot I a lot and I was out of work too. So now I have to figure out where to get $1700 from to pay for that. Then there are home expenses like my leaking roof that also needs to be tended to. Quite honestly its very overwhelming to handle all on your own believe me. So just because we dont have kids or a spouse to tend to doesn't mean we have it easier. Especially if you haven't live on your own for years or so. We can do without the lecturing. 


Honestly, I feel im in a better place heading into my 30s. It may not be where I wanted to be or expect to be. But im contented. Really, I'm excited to see 32 for some reason. I can't remember why exactly but I can't wait to find out why it was so special to me at one time. 



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