Sunday, February 7, 2016

Why Some Women Are Single

I know I should tending to my chores. But I need a moment here and get this out lol. 

So you see this??? 


So I don't disagree with it. But I think men of today have to earn that "catered love." A lot of men demand to be respected like a king thinking that if I treat my woman like a servant she's still going to respect me because I'm Da King. No. If you can't muster up enough respect just to view her on equal eye level she's not obligated to respect your ass. Anyway how I feel is neither here nor there. 

A guy posts on Facebook well if she didn't think she was owed something for giving up pussy there wouldn't be a problem. Then went on to say how special his dick is too—Um, yeah. 

Women didn't start disrespecting themselves out of the blue. Someone was validating it. Someone egged them on. Some man or some men was throwing hands in the air and smiling ear to ear. So monkey see monkey do. Other women started doing the same thing and now it's a twerk competition to get all the likes and attention and validation of very poor and misguided respect.  But the more woman did this the more they lost sight on how to be treated and respected like a lady. Men lost their gentlemanliness. And now it's a big old mess. We're the generation who wants that old school kind of love but we've evolved so much we have too much pride and stupidity to go back to that. Yeah you can find it and it takes awhile and you got to trench through loads of bullshit. But in most cases it takes special people to make it work. 

Men are the reason women are single. Besides nice guys who take a back seat and are afraid to express their feelings because rejection hurts (yeah it hurts but not as bad a paper cut and hand sanitizer). We got guys thinking that if you don't let them violate your body with selfish sex and suck their dick you're not good enough and never will be. So what am I getting if I do these things for you?? He looks at you like you just spoke Japanese French in a Roman accent to him. Apparently you're not suppose to want anything in return. 

Well hold the hell up. If I gotta feed you, sex you and suck your dick and all this extra shit and we're not a couple or not even close to it. You consider us friends with benefits or some other dumb shit. Why exactly am I treating you like my husband?? I'm suppose to do that for my husband. Not for some John who doesn't even care enough to remember my name. 

No that's not how it works. Now if you treat me good and it works then no I don't mind cooking, rubbing your back or maybe even sucking your dick. But respect comes first. If we can't respect each other on a mutual level and give to each other then why do we need to have emotionless sex?? Just so you can be happy because you denially think the world revolves around you?? 

A lot of men feel this way. They get mad that the little whore shaking her ass is not fully focus on him because she wants everyone's attention and not just his alone. But then they also don't want to mess with a woman who has her shit together because she too difficult and he doesn't want to step his game up. No the little twerking ho is not going to be that 1960s Housewife. The woman that is housewifey material isn't going to put up with your shit either. If she does it won't be too long unless she's desperate. 

My ex thought that if he came over and broke me off a little bit of dick that it was ok to ignore me and treat me like a peasant. You might be king material homie. But you lack the regality of being king. After about a year of his back and forth and our on and off relationship he got replaced. He didn't like it and was mad. But seriously you can be single and do what you want but I have to wait on the back burner for you. It was wrong and he made me miserable. There I was the entire time respecting him and telling men who approach me no I'm taken and trying to be a good girlfriend to him. He never really gave me a chance and took me for granted. He didn't want me but he also didn't want someone else to have me either. He basically acted like I was his worst enemy and even treated me like I didn't have a choice. UGH AS IF!

However my new guy. Treats me very well. I can be myself with him. I feel he makes me a better person and goes out his way to make sure I'm happy.  He treats me with respect and always have since I met him. I love him to pieces for it too. And because he makes me happy I'll do whatever I can to make him happy too. 

It's sad a lot of men let their ego run shit. You're so busy getting props from your boneheaded friends. And trying to the ultimate man by sleeping with as many women as you can. That you're trying to feel an insatiable void. It's like trying to plug up a drain with pencil erasers. In due time it might happen but also it could never happen. 

Stop being difficult. No you're not going to get what you want. And trust me you don't want it. My ex was exactly what I wanted and I was very unhappy. We all come with baggage. But with the right person they'll help unpack and sort it and help you carry it. A woman is suppose to be a man's best friend, top supporter and unconditional lover. Some women can be taught how to be that if you show her how much you care for her. Don't ignore her, or come see her just for sex or never hang out with her or treat her like crap. Same goes for women too. You gotta give respect to earn it back. You two are a team. Be more focused on what you need than what you want. Yeah you want that visually bad ass chick who slays left to right. But she ain't going to cook for you, make sure you alright or be there when you need support. Your attention alone ain't going to feed her insatiable void alone what the fuck makes you think she going to worry about if you ate or not?? Or if you a few dollars short or if you had a good day or bad day or a halfway day??? No. She worry about being InstaFamous and how many likes she can rack up so she can boast and brag and make the next hoochie mama envious. 

I pray that my generation gets a wake up call and get their shit together because marriage is obsolete. Love has gone down the drain and people are too busy working towards temporary happiness over lifelong investments of happiness. 

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The Impromptu Jitney Driver

For the last week or so I've been thinking a lot about my parents. I miss them a lot from time to time. And it's been one of those times.

So mostly in the morning I think about my dad. As I'm rushing to get out the door and power wogging (walking and jogging lol) to get down the hill. I'm amazed at all the drivers who literally stop to stare me down like they've never seen pedestrians before. And I'm like are you picking me up??? No?? Then carry on, mind your business slappy. 

But my dad was the exact opposite. Even if he knew he would be late for work. Anyone he saw walking he would ask them if they wanted a ride. Whether it was down the street or to the bus station. He wanted to help and make sure that someone else had a good day too. But what's sad when we were without a car no one offered us rides or picked us up. Nothing. But hell that was for everything. My dad was so focused on helping other people and making things great or good for them whilst letting his own wellbeing go to the wayside. 

I used to ask him, doesn't it bother you that you can't get the same help or consideration or favor back from people you've helped?? He would smile and say, 'No, I've helped someone in need and I just hope and pray that when I'm in need someone will be there to help me. Because you never know who you're going to get help from.' But also on the flip side, he also told me never to be afraid to tell people no sometimes. Which is true. 

So every morning that I'm walking to my bus stop hoping. I make it on time. I think about him carpooling people. Or just him being so generous in general and wondering why aren't there more people in the world like him??

I wish there was. It would make the world a better place. 

Monday, February 1, 2016

A Resolution For the Resolutions

Hi kids!!

Happy New Year!!

I'm sorry I'm super duper late. But reiterate than never right??

In the midst of trying to recuperate and get my life together I couldn't post on this like I wanted. However I did decide that I didn't want life getting in the way of me blogging. Yeah I've met new friends whom I love but sometimes they're busy handling their own lives and I still need a way to vent. And I still want you guys to know I'm still a little weirdo just leveled up a bit lol.

But onto the topic at hand (more about me later lol). What I found out that this year tons of people were going crazy just to manifest a New Years resolution. Yet they're making the same resolution or they've already half-assed it or quit it or drug it out until February. I know I said I would blog more in January and I didn't. I get life gets in the way but they're making long term goals with a short term goal mindset and that's not good. It's exasperating and ultimately not good. You want a beach bod by summer but you look like beached whale. No Hun it don't work that way. Or people want a new girlfriend or boyfriend or to level up their relationship by spring or summer. And they don't even know their significant other's middle name or if they're sure about spending forever (and having kids) with this person. You'll fail each time if you do that. 

So why not find a resolution for the resolution?? Stop saying what you fin to do and do it. You don't need the new year to make it official or feel special or feel like you can accomplish something by the end of the year. A year is still a year no matter when it starts. But if you want change you got to be the change you want. Or fix or adjust your lifestyle according. I decided that this year I'm going to stop running from my debts. Me hoping they'll disappear isn't going to solve my problems and makes my situation worst down the road. I've also decided to stop worrying so much about other people. Some people don't want to be saved/helped. So I'm not anymore. Fell on my ass trying to figure out where I went wrong. But while I'm trying to help everyone else I was letting myself go by the wayside and that's not good. Hell I almost lost my home worrying about someone else's homelessness. 

So I've decided to take action and work hard and find a resolution to all this. I may have to struggle some more. And may even get a couple more jobs if I need be. Or even a new one entirely paying more money just so I can get back on the right track. But I also know things take time and I can't rush into it either. Even though I might be anxious for the future and want things to turn out fine. I need to learn to calm my tits, slow down and hope that all works out in due time. So instead of long term goals with short term goal mindset, try to achieve small goals you know you can accomplish.. In the long run it can be help and could possibly bring a future you hadn't even imagined. This year let's find a resolution to the resolutions and be better than we were in previous years.

The Last Supper


Friday, January 1, 2016

Kwanzaa | Imani



To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle

Lord knows my faith has been tested a many of times these last two years!! But I'm glad it was. Because without my faith I would've been utter lost and hopeless. 

I won't say that I'm full blown church going girl seeking for forgiveness and immortality. No. I know I'm a screw up and the gods above know that as well. I just pray and be a spiritual as humanly possible and hold on to my faith. When I was down and out and struggling to the point I had to go without food. I had faith one day it would work out. But that time taught me that if the struggle came around again I could stand tall and handle it. Even if it seemed that things wouldn't work out I was damned and determined to keep the faith. I knew my faith would see me through. Me holding on to my faith have my weary heart the strength I was looking for. 

What's even better than faith is when you have people around you that you love and care about that has the faith too. Not so much religious, but they struggle and have faith it'll work out in the end. Those are the people that will be your disciples in life. They are your support system. And that's a rare find let me tell you! 

Even now in the mess I'm in. I have faith that things will work out for the better. It may take time and I'll try to be as patient as I can be. But I know I'll be anxiously excited to see what the future holds and brings. I hope my faith continues to grow stronger as I continue my journey. 

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Kwanzaa | Kuumba



To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

I love the meaning of this. It's to use your own skills to apply to the world around you and upgrade it to something that you can later marvel at and leave something special to the next generations. 

But I think it can apply for trying to be better than you were yesterday. You work on yourself today to be something better in the future. It's the investment. I think it's a beautiful thing. I work hard to make my future a little bit better each day. I know it'll take time and patient and a lot more hard work. But it'll be worth it. I have faith that it'll work out and I'll be able to marvel at the journey it took me to get to where I'll be when that time comes to reflect and appreciate the effort I put in. 

I plan on to continue to better myself until I reach the goals I've set for myself. And along the way I might start to include other goals I never considered or never gave a second thought to. I'm excited to see how it all plays out in the end. I still believe I'll be an awesome cat lady. But then again people are rooting for me to have a baby or two. Either way how it plays out, I'll accept it and be thankful for the hard work I put in. 

Happy Kwanzaa!

Hi kids!! 

I first want to wish everyone a happy holiday season. I know I'm late and been more MIA than the stereotypical dead beat dad lol. And I'm sorry. Been dealing with life to the fullest and at times more than I could handle. 

So this year I was damned and determined to do Kwanzaa this year. So instead of reflecting on the outside like I did the year before last (2013) and the year before that (2012). I decided to reflect on myself as a person. And have a chit-chat on how Kwanzaa was applied to my life through examples. Because we all learn something new everyday and sometimes taking on others experiences are a plus because you can kind of have a thought in mind about a situation without going fully blindly into, right?? So like always I hope this helps you out and adds entertainment or even a peace of mind lol. 

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Kwanzaa | Nia


To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness. 

I think as of now I thought I knew what my purpose was. But then I found out that I was wrong. Well not so much wrong but incorrect to a point. I'm finding things about myself that I never new existed. As well nostalgically revisiting who I was and reinventing that into something more modernesque. I think this new found understanding is what I was lacking when I last wrote about Nia two years ago. 

2 years ago-even 3 years ago you couldn't have told me that I would be the person I am. I was full fledge bad ass who couldn't stand men and wanted to be the ultimate hot ass cat lady every to walk this earth. Boy was I wrong! Or delusional. Probably both in some regards lol. I found out two cats were too much for me to handle. I found several relationship prospects. One whom (was mentioned in the previous post) was able to open my heart and emotions up. Make me vulnerable against my wishes. But he made me be able to fully accept the man I'm with now. I wouldn't have it any other way. Hell I didn't think I'd be in a decent relationship with a guy who not only respects me and values me. But treats me like his best friend. Is he the one?? Ehhh let's not get carried away lol. We've known each other for 6months and been together for 4 of them and I'm quite contented. 

But that's the beautiful thing. The whole while I was thinking I was meant to be alone and unhappy and basically always be a side chick. Things have changed and so has my outlook on what my purpose may be. Yeah the first purpose could've been it. But it doesn't mean we have to have just ONE SOLITARY PURPOSE to manifest our lives after. No. You can have more than one. They can coincide with the times or different events that take place in life. There's a reason why there are Jacks (& Jackies) of all trades. 
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